Maria's Space: I Love You Honey, I Really Do but My Bleeding Ears!!!!

Sunday, October 03, 2010

I Love You Honey, I Really Do but My Bleeding Ears!!!!

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There is something so beautiful about the innocent of children. I love listening to the way they talk when they play. Goddess is one of my favorite people in the whole world. She just loves everything. She has wide eyed wonder that most of us lose along the way to adulthood. In Goddess' world everything is beautiful, sparkly, fun, interesting, and needs to be inspected ANNNNNDDD talked about.

I want to hear what she has to say believe me, I do. However, it is nearly impossible to have a thought when she is around. God forbid, I want to think about a conversation, something I have to do, something that needs to be paid or some other thing that crosses my mind at random moments when I want to not focus on the child. Focusing on the children is a priority. I want to experience, remember, talk about think about and mention to them everything they are doing and it is impossible for me to filter them out. When one of them speak, I hear nothing but them. Everything else goes right out the window.

Handsome has moments of talking too much, usually he is quiet, thinking about whatever Handsome thinks about. Goddess on the other hand, wants everyone to know her every thought. It is the age of self importance and man, this girl knows she is!

We must hear and acknowledge everything she says from the sky is blue mom, sometimes it looks yellowish but mostly it's blue what makes the sky blue? Some fish bite. Do any fish in our lake bite, because if they bite that would hurt and I wouldn't like that. I was just thinking about the park. Do you remember the park, and that time when I was three, and I ran and fell and you picked me up and the sky was blue and Handsome was crying because I was crying, and..and...and....the story goes on forever.

My least favorite is when I'm driving and listening to the radio for a split second, like the song, get into the words, but then....Goddess chimes in...

Goddess: Mom?

Me: Yes!

Goddess: Mom, when we get home..when we get home...

Me: uh huh!

Goddess:Mom...when we get home can I play on your computer.

Me: We'll see, first go to school and when we get home we will talk about it.

Goddess: Because I haven't played for a very, very long time and I really, really want to play. Sometimes, when I play, I play for a long time, and sometimes when I play, I play for a short time but you don't always let me play, why don't you let me play? I promise to be careful with the computer and not break it, because I know if I break it, we won't have a computer, and I know that it is yours but Mom, I really, really want to play, can I play when we get home?

Me: We'll seem, OK honey.

Goddess: Ok, but I really, really want to play.

In my head: SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!

I mean really! Can I just have a moment in my own head with my own thoughts? This week, I plan on spending 30 minutes, alone with my own thoughts.

How do you block your children's voices out?

3 comments:

  1. I can't. I kind of do the Shut up thing in my head too.
    Do you ever dream their relentless talking? I have.
    My husband gets talky once in awhile too. Sometimes I think, can't you wind down quick, I like it better when you're quite.
    I never say it out loud of course.

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  2. Ah my dear friend, in time it will come. The magical power of tuning them out, or selective hearing as I call it.
    By the time Goddess reaches 15 you will have mastered this fine art of communication. Trust me.

    :-)

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  3. Boy, can I relate! As soon as I pick mine up from school, "Where are we going? What are we going to do when we get there? Where is Dad? What time will he be home? Can I...? Are we gonna...? When I can get a word in I say, "What did you do at school today?" The answer: "I don't remember." Drives me nuts!!!

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