OMG This Has Been A Rough Few Weeks

 I have been suffering with my sciatica and stomach this past few weeks. My sciatica has always been an issue. It comes and goes for about 10 years now but I am finally setting up an appointment with a sports medicine doctor. It is usually only 1 side but the past few weeks has been both. It has been so bad that I spent two days unable to walk without wanting to cry.

My stomach issue is on day 9.  It started with what felt like just a burning, the became a cramping, burning thing over two days to a full blown give me a knife so I can take myself out, non stop cramping. I was in a fetal position for two days which is what I though brought on the back thing. My stomach feels like a battle ground. It is like someone has set a fire and then I feel the acid rush up my esophagus and then I burp terribly. Urgent Care finally did a CAT scan and they are showing nothing that would be causing my issues. Blood work and urine is fine. WHAT the hell??!!

My life at times feels like I go between heart break to, body pains, back to feeling like God has my back and is holding me up and a pray and pray and PRAY and back to heartbreak. I know everyone is dealing with something and I do mostly manage to see how I am alive and should celebrate that but there are times that it is harder to do. Oh well....this is my life I should be use to it by now.

Did You Join The Twilight Re-Read?

 

I was so excited to join the Twilight re-read. Twilight was a book I hold near and dear to my heart. After having my children and being completely obsessed with them it was the first thing that took me out of "mommy mode" for  a second. I loved being with my kids but once they were sleeping I found time to emersed myself in the world Stephanie Meyers created and fall in love with Edward and Bella. 

Honestly I loved it so much I gave the book as Christmas and Birthday gifts for a year because I wanted to discuss it with my friends after borrowing from a friend to read it. You can see my review here . After seeing the movie my friend and I reviewed it here .

My friends and I were also featured in a documentary about Twilight called Into The Twilight Haze where a bunch of different woman talk about their love of the books.

Soooo sending my son on a mission to retrieve my books from the top shelf of my closet I sat down to start the first one this past Sunday. Currently I am more than half way through it after being sidelined with a stomach virus and sciatica issue and started watching the podcast of the ladies who started this re-read and have been disappointed. Like many who have watched the movie way more than read the book 50 watches to 2 reads I had forgotten some of the book but I still love it. 

Maybe it's generational but I read books for the sake of reading the book NOT to pick apart every choice the author made. It is her book and she can make whatever damn choice she chooses. Both woman read the book when they were very young. I read it as a 38 year old mother and do not feel the same as they do.  I just turned 60 and they are young woman who see things differently and that is fine but Stephanie Meyer caused a movement that got people reading and talking. She is just a woman who wrote a book that people absolutely loved. My excitement is still there but I will not listen to the podcast with the same enthusiasm. 

How do you feel? Are you reading the book with new eyes? Do you see it as misogynistic?  

Oh My Beautiful Girl

 I wish you saw yourself the way I see you.

You are smart, beautiful, funny, witty, amazing, incredible, and so much more without even trying. Even the butterflies know it!

Goddess has a way with animals. Ever since she was a little tiny girl living things have been drawn to her.

This latest photo she said to the butterfly "Come Here" and it did. Her dad and I were with her and I couldn't even catch my breath. I was amazed to watch it land in her hands. It was so quick I didn't have time to register what was happening. When I finally did I whispered "Don't breathe!" and quickly removed my phone from my pocket trying to get video and photos of the moment. Literally after this one finally flew away another landed on her finger. I asked, "What did you just eat?" What the hell?

Here are a few more of other times including little Goddess

Photo Friday - #Numbers

 Atlantic City isn't what it used to be however this was a Wednesday and 4 PM. I only went twice before but it was packed both times. It was so very different but my husband played 1 dollar on one machine and won and a dollar on another and won again. I loved how he proudly walked over to the cashier and with his little winning card and claimed his money. We walked out with $8. WINNERS.

Noooo I Don't Want To

 I am mostly positive. Everything can always be worse and trying to stay positive is important to my mental health but today I am just feeling a little angry. Honestly I don't want to go back to work tomorrow. 

Setting the alarm for 4:45 but having my internal clock wake me at 4 makes me so mad! My body works against me all the time.

Praying that we all have a wonderful day tomorrow no matter what we are doing.

Summer Break Is Over And I Am Sad About It

I don't feel like I had much of summer. Yes, it's probably more than some get. I mean I had three weeks off but the first week was after the last day of school and summer school beginning. As a one-on-one attendant for a child I don't want to change her world to much by taking the summer off if she will attend summer school. Her world should be as consistent as possible so if she is going, so am I. Unfortunately the first Monday off I decided to scrub  my bedroom from top to bottom.  I moved end tables and got under my dresser with a rug comb before vacuuming. I spent two hours on my hands and knees and unfortunately two days later couldn't move at all. My chiropractor told me 15 minutes top with long breaks in between. It took a week and a half to be able to move without pain.

Then I worked 6 weeks before being off for Wildwood which I didn't feel "off". I mean I'm in a hotel room with my family. Is that really off? 

Then I worked the daycare from 3-6:00ish depending on when the last kid left and did dog sitting. Soooo not much of a summer break as school employees get.

This week we go back but these two days that should be off I have to attend mandatory meetings for work. I wish I could say break has been amazing and I did a ton of fun things but I can't. I did more than last year though so I guess I should be happy about that. 

Today I am on the last hour alone for the week. There were 2.5 to be exact and I just zoned as I should. There is no guilt or judgement to just be. Being quiet is important to life too which is why I decided to write this. It feels good to spend time without any judgement. No one to say what you said didn't make sense (daughter), or snicker at what you might be watching on TV or playing on your phone. No guilt to read a chapter of a book when maybe you should have been caught dusting or cleaning something. It is beautiful.

Being alone for 2 hours a week is good for my soul. As I start gearing up to return to 11 hour days of work I know I need to make some changes. Maybe during the weekend I need to just go out alone. Sit in quiet and listen to my own vibrations, feelings, thoughts or whatever I friggin want.  Here's to finding me time!

Wildwood New Jersey 2026 And Turning 60

My family headed out this month on an 8 day vacation to Delaware of Wildwood NJ. We headed to Cape May and jumped on the ferry to Lewes Delaware to stay with my sister-in-law for two nights before our trip to Wildwood. We had gone last year but the weather was awful. The beach had about a 1-2 feet of water on it as well as being cold and rainy every day except the day we headed down and the day we came back.  We were out to redeem ourselves and enjoy the sand and ocean for a few days and celebrate my 60th Birthday.

The weather was hot and I am NOT really good in 90+ temps but I was a big girl and kept up.

We were at the ferry way too early but that's normal when we travel. We grabbed a quick bite to eat at Stowaways and then jumped on the ferry. It was hot but eventually we all made it outside and enjoyed the beautiful breeze.

My sister-in-law is a wonderful host and our time with her is precious. I love her like a sister and enjoy watching my kids with her. 

We did some antiquing and relaxing. Very different from our Universal Vacations when we are on the go the whole time except when we are sleeping or eating. If you love antiquing I highly suggest Delaware.

Wildwood was nice! Relaxing with a few schedule free days. Just wake when we wake, walk to boardwalk and go to the beach. 

We stayed in Wildwood Crest at the Adventurer Oceanfront Inn. It was nice enough. Two rooms with a kitchenette, living room with balcony and a bedroom with two beds. The only problem I had with it was it smelled moldy and stale. It seemed like it needed a good airing out and some bleach.

The morning of my birthday my husband had put a birthday card on the table and my daughter came up behind me with a crown that she place on my head and a sash that read 60 and fabulous. It was very sweet. My son came over with a bag of two shirts and two bracelets he had purchased from the boardwalk. Very sweet way to remember our time here.

My daughter had also made me two dangles for my pocketbook with stones and gems. LOVE them.

We went to breakfast at the very delicious Station House where I had my favorite Eggs Benedict. I had been having it in a few places this trip and this was by far my favorite.

After that we went to the boardwalk and hung at the hotel for a little while. Before you knew it it was dinner time and I was so excited because they have such a good Italian restaurant in Wildwood called Little Italy which is really good. We had gone last year and loved it.

The best part of dinner was when dessert came out and the restaurant sang Happy Birthday with "60" candles on it. The waitress made my night. She kept telling me there is no way you are 60. You are all getting over on me because I am 63 and "kid you look younger than my 43 year old daughter."  The sweetest. 

I found out later that my daughter had brought the candles with her. Told her father when we were at the restaurant, he put them in his pocket and then "went to find the bathroom" where he gave them to the waitress. Very sweet! I loved that so much.

Wearing the crown and sash all day and all night meant a lot of strangers wished me a Happy Birthday and that made it all the sweeter. Turning 60 wasn't hard. My mom was 34 so I am proud and privileged to have made it to 60. Was it the best birthday not really. My husband and I are not in the most coupledom place we have ever been but at least we were all together and it didn't hurt hearing you don't look 60 a few times either.

Sunday Stealing Invites You to Be Bold

 July 31, 2026

Bold the Ones You've Done

Have you ever ...

1. Slept under the stars


2. Played in a band


3. Visited Hawaii 


4. Visited Easter Island 

5. Watched a meteor shower


6. Seen the changing of the guard at Buckingham Palace


7. Been to Disneyland or Disney World 


8. Climbed a mountain 


9. Held a praying mantis

10. Been to the Louvre 

11. Had food poisoning


12. Eaten vegetables you grew yourself


13. Slept overnight on a train 


14. Built a snow fort


15. Held a lamb


16. Gone skinny dipping


17. Been on a cruise (day cruises and dinner cruises count)

18. Seen Niagara Falls 


19. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors


20. Sung karaoke


21. Sat for a portrait

22. Walked on a beach by moonlight


23. Been transported in an ambulance


24. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling 


25. Kissed in the rain


26. Played in the mud


27. Gone to a drive-in theater

28. Changed your vehicle's oil yourself

29. Taken a martial arts class 


30. Visited the Vatican


31. Volunteered at a soup kitchen or food pantry


32. Sold Girl Scout cookies

33. Bought a used car

34. Sat on a jury

35. Ridden an elephant

Sometimes The Quiet Is Deafening

 

Trying to soak up the rest of summer with a husband who doesn’t share much.

The days are long and warm, the evenings are quiet! Sometimes a little too quiet. It’s hard to build a conversation when the other person keeps most things to themselves. You ask about their day, get a short answer, and the silence settles back in.

Still trying to enjoy the season anyway, the late sunsets, the slow mornings, the little moments that don’t need words.

Just wishing the talking part felt a little easier sometimes.

Anyone else in a quiet relationship and figuring out how to make the most of the season anyway?

Did You Also Trade Your Summer For A Paycheck?

So far I have spent this summer working.

Long hours, early mornings, the whole thing.

Part of me is proud I showed up and stayed consistent. Another part keeps whispering that I missed the “real” summer the slow mornings, the spontaneous plans, the feeling of having time to just exist. This can not happen in my current life. Weekends are spent doing the chores I don't get to during the week and then I start another week all over again.

As someone who works with kids I understand that the work matters as much as paying my bills but I also know rest and joy matter too. I get jealous when I see others enjoying their day in their backyard pools or on the boat on the lake just spending time with their families and friends. It never happens in my world!

I often have to remind myself that summers don’t have to look the same as others but damn, I still wish I’d stolen a few more empty days for myself.

Anyone else feel like they traded their summer for a paycheck this year?

Wishing For A Simpler Time

Cartooned my daughter and nieces 

Is anyone else feeling as if they want a reset to simpler times? A longing for connection with the people you love. I think I speak more to strangers than I do to the people I love. We sit side by side but by husband is on his computer or phone and I know this for years so I now sit with mine as well,  reading a book on my Kindle or playing game. Thank God for my daughter because we speak often but she needs to have her own life and I want that for her.

Even friends or family text hellos and act like that is a connection. I am old and want a phone call instead so I reach out but everyone is running so the calls are always short. When did life get so busy that we forgot what was really important and that is connection and making memories that will last a lifetime because not everyone gets a long life. My mom died at 34. Her life was over but here I am at 60 and wonder if she had a more full life than I have had in the past 10 years. 

The kids are both in their 20s and while they are still home and we spend plenty of time together I find myself longing for a good power outage that lasts a few days. When we have a storm and the power goes out thankfully it returns before the day ends. My daughter and I do perfectly fine. We always find something to do. On the last storm my husband and son went to bed. It would have been nice to play a game of cards, laugh around the table and make a memory that we can look back at fondly one day. 

NOTE: The irony is NOT lost on me that I used AI to generate a picture for this post. but the girls are all older and I didn't' want to have to ask permission to use my photo of them.

Stealing The Friday Fill-in - May 29, 2026

1. Arguing is not the end of the world.

2. Bacon tastes so good!

3. Sometimes, putting others first is necessary.

4. Life is breathtaking, really.

5. Well, maybe there is time.

6.  This week, my plans include work and more work.

Wow Time Flies

This year my son turned 23 and my daughter 21. I will be 60!

I have been blogging since they were June 21, 2005 two months after my daughter, Goddess was born. 

How? They are young adults and I am just older! It hurts my heart to know that I am closer to the end than I am to the beginning and I would go back and do it all again in a heartbeat.  I am so thankful that I have blogged a lot of their early years because I love going back to read it all and wish that work didn't keep me from still blogging their life in a more continuous manner. 

They are living their own lives and I am working more hours than ever. My son works on the weekends only at the same job for 5 years and my daughter is working at her job since October. They are both in school still and I am so happy they are still home with me and I see them daily. 

Goddess is a force to be reckoned with. She is a true Renaissance Woman. There is nothing she can't do. She is good at everything she tries and she will be good at the things she has yet to. She knows who she is and doesn't feel the need to be anyone else for anyone. Love that about her. I wish I was more like her when I was young. Heck I wish I were like her now.

Handsome is home since 2022. He doesn't drive so works only on the weekends but hopefully one day. He plays games, walks and everyone on the block knows him and speaks kindly of him. I have met his bosses and they all love him as well. Hopefully in the near future we can get him driving lessons so he isn't a prisoner to the house since I work two jobs that keep me out of the house 11-12 hours a day during the week. 

I thought as we got older, we worked less but I guess that is not the case with the cost of living. Looking for a new job often that will give me 40 hours a week but working a 24 hour job and a variable job that gives me at the very least 10 but as much as 20 a week to make the 40 hours you need to work in the economy. 

Life is good. Could always be better. If you have been following along all these years, thank you! I adore you and hope you are well. Leave me a message if you care to.  

LIfe Update

I have been doing so much journaling that I have failed to jump online and write here. This was always where I wrote about life. Now I pick up a pen and write all my thoughts in a book. It's not that I don't want to write here. I love going back to my posts and rereading especially when it has to do with my kids. But with two jobs I have limited home time. During the week I am out from 6:10 AM until 4:45 3 days out of the week and the other 2 days 6:10 AM until 6:45 PM. The weekends are all about sleeping past 7:30, grocery shopping, cleaning, laundry and whatever else. It goes fast. 

Right now my thoughts are consumed with my current situation at home, my kids and trying to get through my week.

I do however miss my blog and think about it daily. Times were good! Hopefully I can get back to some sort of writing here. My goal is to create books for my kids of their lives from toddler hood until now. 

Handsome and Goddess are almost done with college for now. He is taking his time getting through. There is no rush. They are both doing it online. Mostly because neither was driving out of high school. She is driving for over a year and got her license last Spring. She works and goes to college. Busy girl. He works on the weekend 10 months of the year. It's hard when you don't drive and don't live near public transportation. 

One day! I have hope he will eventually drive.

I worry about him. Being home since September 2022, doing online college and only working on the weekends. What kinds of life is that? Hopefully he finds his way and lives a fulfilled and balance life where he has friends and is happy. Right now, I worry!

Goddess has come a long way and stands up for herself. She is strong willed, extremely smart and very balanced in her life with many hobbies as well as a hard working in school as well as at work. 

Prayer and faith gets me through my day and night. Thank you Lord for always being there. 

What? My Hay Is Sprouting!

We always get a few bales of hay that my husband uses on the front steps to decorate for Fall but we have never had it sprout actual grass before. 

This year he got it from Lowes. I usually get from local farms but he took care of the lugging this year. The farm bales are usually much bigger than he wants.

Has this ever happened to you? I've never seen this before. It looks pretty. I don't mind. 

Each one has a seed attached to the bottom so I am assuming some grass seed got into the bales somehow. 

Rediscovering the Art of Letter Writing: A Heartfelt Return to Loved Ones

 

Yesterday my daughter and I went through a bin of old cards and letters I had in the garage. She organized it into piles and put it all back in the bin in order of who everything was from. Old letters from family, friends and ex boyfriends. Her take away was that as she gets older her generation will not have anything like this to look back on, re-read or share with family. 

It's sad and true. No one sends letters anymore. Thankfully I do have a friend who still sends letters and cards but these days and I get so excited when I receive one and add it to my current journal. These days everyone sends texts and it's not like anyone is printing out their back and forth conversations for prosperity. 

Looking through the old love letters and retelling stories of people who were a big deal in my life way before she was born was cathartic and fun. I had forgotten some of the letters and others felt like only yesterday I had received them. 

There was too much to go through them all because we were organizing and talking but I cannot wait to sit and really read them. Letters from my father who is now gone, cards and postcards I got from my grandparents as they travelled and love letters from ex-boyfriends that made me feel special. Hearing her "geez mom, another name. Another pile!" still makes me laugh right now. 

I think sending letters is important and we should make a conscious effort of telling those we love how much we love them in something they can hold and re-read. In the past I have left my kids love letters as I left the house for work and they slumbered on but I think it's time to do this more. We are all getting older and I want her to have the "receipts" of my love in something she can see, hold, and share with her friends and family when I am no longer here. 

A New Chapter Begins With A Lighter Heart #faithrenewed #reconciliation

I have prayed alone for 40 years of my life. Being raised Catholic whenever I needed to I turned to God! After having children I decided to let them decide what path they wanted to take. We baptized them both and when they were young. I prayed over them and when they could repeat after me we prayed nightly.  I have spent years going into church often but always off hours just wanting to sit in my own head with my prayers and my very personal relationship with Jesus. 

In January of this year I decided to learn to pray the rosary and to read the bible.  It has been interesting and makes me feel really good and close to God which I think is the best reason to pray. 

Two months ago I decided to start going to church by meeting up with a friend and her son every Sunday and praying as a community. Goddess has come with me 95% of the time. When I talked about how I sometimes feel guilty that I didn't force religion on her and her brother because life is hard and you may need to have faith and pray but won't know how she said something I will appreciate all the days of my life. "I like the way you did it. Maybe if you had forced it I wouldn't be as interested as I am. I believe there is a higher power and believe in God. I also like aspects of other religions and I am finding my own way."

This past Saturday I finally received confirmation because after reading 33 Days to Eucharistic Glory I really longed to receive the most holy sacrament of the eucharist and longed to be on the line of parishioners.

The priest at my church is fairly new to the priesthood being ordained in 2017. He is a blessing to our community and I adore him. As a child confession seemed so daunting. If you don't know, you walk into a booth and say "bless me father for I have sinned.  It's been ___ weeks since my last confession" and then go into your sins that you want forgiven.  As a child I didn't feel like I had sinned so mostly I just would say I fought with my sisters but what do you say to a priest when it has been 40+ years since your last confession? Also back in the day confession was done with a wall between you and the priest. This time I walked in and he is sitting there. The only thing between us is a table with a lamp and some books on it. 

We spoke about my return and since we have talked in the past I felt comfortable and could abbreviate the story. He was unbelievably helpful, forgiving, easy to speak with and then said something thought made me cry. He told me that since it has been 40+ years that he would do my penance. We prayed and then Acting in the person of Christ he told me  "God forgives you. There is nothing else you have to do. you can receive communion tomorrow". I thanked him and we prayed and spoke a moment longer before I said, "don't be surprised if I cry at communion tomorrow." He replied "don't be surprised if I do too."

I am so thankful and feel blessed. Receiving communion was amazing yesterday and I cannot wait to go again.  I know my priest will never see this but I am so grateful to him and his time and sacrifice. He is a wonderful person and every time I talk to him, I feel closer to the Lord!

We Need To Sage The World

 

A few days ago I asked Grok to create a photo of the earth being smudged with Sage. Whenever my house feels heavy with whatever bad juju is around or the people living inside it seem to be dealing with something I light some sage and walk around trying to cleanse all corners, windows and when possible the people or their normal resting space. 

Last week was heavy! A heavy that I was having difficulty shaking and a feeling of darkness that I was feeling in my core. 

Between Iryna Zarutska being murdered on a train in North Carolina while not a single person sitting around her thought to treat her like a human being and allowed her to die alone on a dirty floor. Then another school shooting this one happening in Colorado and finally the assassination of Charlie Kirk I was having a very difficult time. 

My heart aches! My mind is in overdrive and I have cried off and on for days. 

I pray daily, I mediate on the rosary and I find myself often asking God for help in understanding how we can do better.

59 And Thriving. Staying Strong And Feeling Good

Trying to find my routine for exercise, stretching, and feeling good as I enter the last quarter of my life. As someone who has had back aches since the age of 13 due to a swimming accident and being 4'11" and carrying my babies for way too long, sitting for hours at desk jobs, standing and getting on the floor as well as lifting big kids to change their diapers at my preschool/daycare job dealing with aches has often times sidelined me. 

I have dealt with a back/hip pain that took 7 years of my life. The pain was unbearable and no amount of therapy, chiropractor care was helping. I had a shooting sciatica pain that made me want to cry. I thought this was going to be my life until I finally found a doctor who told me I didn't have sciatica, I had a severe muscle tear that I kept reinjuring every time I did the "sciatica stretches" all my therapists were teaching me. Over the year in his care I took his advice. He gave me ultrasound therapy, I stopped all stretching activities that kept me flexible, took a supplement he handed me one day, iced all pain, got shoe inserts that cost me too much money, ordered a reclining couch and low and behold I am where I am now. Managing my hip, back and leg pains. 

While I don't go to him anymore (insurance), I am doing all the things he taught me as well as Provitalize which I swear by (not sponsored). My body feels the difference if I miss a day!! 

I also have downloaded an app that helps me try to stay on my 10,000 steps a day plan and found low impact (hello bad hips and back) You Tuber exercise that I happen to love. 

Just trying to keep moving as I get older without setting myself backward.

What are your suggestions for life over 59?

Who Controls The Remote Control In Your House?

 

In my house, my husband has always been in control of the remote. I don't know if he took control or if we inadvertently gave it to him because the kids and I were home all day and when he finally got home from work and was ready to unwind, we just handed it off but for the past 22 years he has control over what we watch 80% of the time. 

There are many TVs in the house and I could go watch what I want alone or I can sit with him and hope that he falls upon something I might be into also. Smartphones have made hanging with him easier because if he puts on something I don't want to watch or just not into, I can read a book or play a game but at least we are in the same room.

Last night he handed the remote to me and said, "since you are on vacation, why don't you choose something." I laughed, took the remote and said something along the lines of "It's a lot of pressure to find something you will be into as well". Teaching by example, wink wink. Maybe it will hit home or maybe not. He replied "well it's fine because I will be on my computer." Which is honestly what he is doing every night anyway. He usually puts something on then half watches it or uses it as background noise anyway.

I immediately put on LaPalma a Swedish series streaming on Netflix which is something I have been hearing about. He asked what I put on when it started and said, "I've heard a lot about this movie." It was okay. Not sure why it is so popular but it was enough to have us both watching so that's a win!

How about you? Who is in control of the remote?