Thursday, June 29, 2017

Bullying… Why Does It Always Happen to Me?

Written by Steve Simpson the author of The Teenage and YoungAdult Survival Handbook 

People wonder why I’m so sensitive. People laugh because other people can take insults and jokes and I can’t. I get angry, sad and depressed, which makes people make fun of me even more. What they don’t know is that making fun of me or bullying me is nothing new. Long before I ever stepped foot in a school I was a victim of bullying. It wasn’t another student and it wasn’t a neighbor. It was someone in my own family. Maybe it was because they were drunk, but whatever the reason, by the time I entered school I had already lived years of being put down, made to feel worthless and had my self-esteem ripped apart. Let’s not forget that the overwhelming damage of bullying is not so much done in schools or in the workplace, but at home. Because there is no worse bully than a child’s own father or mother. I can tell you from experience that verbal abuse can at times be just as harmful or even deadly as physical abuse. I know, I’ve had both. The physical wounds healed, but the emotional wounds left scars, which can affect a person their whole life.

How can it be deadly, you ask? Because many have been pushed to commit suicide as a result of bullying by one of their own parents or adults in the house; step father, step mother, mother’s boyfriend, father’s girlfriend. Bullying at home may make someone more susceptible or vulnerable to bullying elsewhere. By the time these children go to school almost all of their emotional protective layers have been ripped away by their own family, making them an open target for bullies that can sometimes sense this vulnerability. Now the bullying at school and other places just makes them think that everything their parents said were right, “Now even they’re saying these things about me.”
For those being bullied, if you can honestly say that you’ve had verbal abuse in your own home then the answer is to work on the damage that that abuse has caused. Once you stop hurting over the things your own family members have said and grow to realize that these things are not true, you will find it much easier to deflect the names thrown at you at school or work. They won’t have the same effect on you or possibly even not hurt you at all. It’s not a matter of you being weak. Nobody can grow up being verbally abused in their own home and then not have problems or be vulnerable outside your home.

One of the most important things to learn and work on is your own self-worth and self-esteem. When my self-esteem was low I would easily believe anything negative said about me. Once I had a high self-esteem, people could not hurt me as easily by just saying things to or about me. I remember many fights I had even gotten into or over being called names. Once I had some self-worth that didn’t seem as important to me. When we feel good about ourselves we are then able to see the
source of where the bullying comes from. Is it because that person has an alcohol or drug addiction? Does that person simply want attention? Does that person have self-esteem issues too and the only way they can feel confident is by knocking someone else down? People can make themselves feel popular because they get others to laugh with them, but one whose popularity is based solely on getting people to laugh at others is false. You don’t want to get in a habit of harshly judging others but once you see through the person that is verbally attacking you, it takes away the sting of their words.

How do you get help to raise your self-esteem and self-worth? Certainly if you are in school there are school counselors, social workers and psychologists to help and you will find they understand you and your situation more than you thought. Community centers and churches many times also have counselors, 12 step programs and support groups. Please keep in mind that if you are a child of an alcoholic or have some abuse or dysfunction in your home that is more of a cause of your problems than the bully at school. When you get help you will realize that the effects from your home problems affected you a lot more than you thought, and made you vulnerable to begin with to the bullying. When you work on the problems from home and gain a self-esteem and self-worth once again you will be strong and capable to not let the bullying affect you at all. Remember many are subject to bullying. You are not alone in this and you will see that when you get help by one of the places that I’ve recommended.

For those of you that think that name calling and bullying is really no big deal and can’t figure out what certain peoples “problem” is or why they act the way they do when you’re simply “teasing them”, I hope you will come to realize that it may not be so much what you’re saying to them but what they are going through in their lives. By taunting and bullying these people you are actually becoming part of the abuse that they are going through at home. You are no better than the adults who are committing child abuse because you are helping their abuse have an even greater effect on their victims. Many abuse victims can hide their situations very well. Would you really want to even take a chance of picking on one of these individuals? Furthermore, you have to ask yourself why you have such a need to make fun of or put down others. Could you perhaps use some help for your self-esteem and self-worth?

Finally, if you are simply a bystander to someone’s bullying or name calling, you can increase your own self-worth and self-esteem by either defending the person who is being bullied or at least letting everybody know that you don’t agree with this at all, and that it’s not cool. Maybe you can even try to say some kind words to the person being bullied and make sure they are okay.

Bullying or verbally attacking anyone from any family background is wrong and cowardly. However, doing it to someone who already has their fill of problems is worse than cruel. Something to think about. Instead of being a bully how about being a hero?

Wednesday, June 28, 2017

GIVEAWAY: Picturebooks For Summertime Fun/Reading - PLUS A #Giveaway

Media Masters Publicity has published TWO books from author Linda Ragsdale and publisher FLOWER POT PRESS (Nashville, TN).  Ragsdale is known for her empowering and inspirational school appearances, fun word-play and her contagious, energetic love of life.  Both new books published a little earlier this month and finished quantities just arrived.  ALPHABETTER and HOW I DID IT are books that adults will love reading aloud and kids will enjoy hearing again and again (and reading on their own, too!)


Publisher: Flowerpot Children's Press, Inc (May 2017)
ISBN: 978-1486712106
Series: Peace Dragon picturebooks
Empower your vocabulary with this hilarious dictionary full of playfully re-paired words that motivate, uplift, and inspire. Laugh and learn as you read each new word, and discover the amazing power our words have when we use them to encourage others and ourselves!


The 411:

This adorable, whimsical book for letters A-Z makes up fun words that will have your child giggling and possibly even making up some of their own. Every letter of the alphabet is used and fosters creativity and fun for all ages.

Curious and inspired, I was full of ideas. I turned adversity into adventure when I took a chance and tried to change. Readers young and old will be inspired by how I did it.
Publisher: Flowerpot Children's Press, Inc (May 2017)
ISBN: 978-1486712113
Series: Peace Dragon picturebooks


The 411:

We love reading this book. It is funny and colorful. I is pretty sure that it want's to be something it isn't.  He realized that turned sideways he would be an H. If he bent his bottom he could be a J.  He eventually pulls himself right off the page. He was enjoying his moment when he suddenly finds himself in trouble.  The letters help out by helping him understand that he is perfect the way he is and should live his life to his full potential as well as follow the rules. 

I totally appreciate how the author used I and U at the end. A great lesson for all kids and you will love reading this too! 

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Disclaimer: I received a complimentary product for my honest opinion. My reviews are 100% honest and true based on my personal opinion not on a company’s description or request. I am not employed by any company I review for. No monetary compensation was received.

Understanding The 4 Basics Of Money Can Enrich Your Life

Many young people have the misconception that as they grow older and advance in their careers they will have more disposable income, giving them the freedom to do what they like and buy what they want.

But as life moves along bills add up, college loans need to be paid, mortgages need to be secured and insurance needs to be kept up to date. Throw in kids and many people find themselves living paycheck-to-paycheck much longer than they ever expected.
That type of living doesn’t leave much room to plan for retirement.

It doesn’t have to be that way, though.

Those who understand the basics of money can begin planning early in life and will be ready to retire in their 60s, says Ann Vanderslice (, president and CEO of Retirement Planning Strategies.

“Part of working toward retirement is having a plan and a strategy ahead of time,” says Vanderslice. “That begins with understanding the four basics of money.”

Those basics are:

• Earning. The secret to making money – whether you are an entrepreneur or work for a large company – is finding a solution to people’s problems. Once you understand this, Vanderslice says, the keys to success include: showing up on time, doing what you say you are going to do, finishing what you started and doing it all with a courteous attitude. 

• Saving. Vanderslice says the old rule of thumb about saving 10 percent still applies. Even if your company offers matching retirement funds, she says that doesn’t give you a pass to save less. The first bill you pay each month should be one to yourself. After that 10 percent is set aside, manage your budget from what’s left.  

• Investing.  Investing should be a long-term endeavor, Vanderslice says. For example, take today’s 25-year-olds. According to the Employee Benefit Research Institute, if they want to retire with a similar lifestyle as what they have now, they need to invest 6.4 percent of their paychecks. That’s based on the stock market staying on the average path it has held for the last century. 

• Distribution. Do you want to know how much you will be able to live on in retirement? A good rule of thumb is the 4 Percent Rule, which states that you should withdraw 4 percent of your retirement portfolio in the first year of retirement. Each subsequent year you should do the same while adjusting for a 3 percent inflation rate. 

“People who report having the easiest transition into retirement had a strategy,” says Vanderslice. “They don’t just wing it.

About Ann Vanderslice
Ann Vanderslice (, president and CEO of Retirement Planning Strategies, helps federal employees understand their benefits, maximize the value of their benefits and plan for retirement, as well as organize income planning and IRA distributions. Vanderslice holds the Registered Financial Consultant designation from the International Association of Registered Financial Consultants and the Chartered Retirement Planning Counselor designation from the College for Financial Planning. She is author of Fedtelligence 2.0 – The Ultimate Guide to Mastering Your Federal Benefits.