Cub Scouts Christmas Skits and Cookie Exchange

Oh what a night....hanging with a bunch of boys as they gear up for a sugar fest of "homemade cookies" was a blast especially since I was hanging with one of my girlfriend's husbands. Frank Sr is a trip. Reminder to self: always sit with Frank! He is so much fun and has enough energy for all of us.

All the Scout Dens performed a skit or sung. Our Den is lucky enough to have two amazing leaders. One is the more authoritative figure. He keeps the boys in line in a fun, often sarcastic way while the other, is more relaxed, very sweet and easy. It is the perfect balance.

Handsome's Den decided on a skit centered around Santa losing his reindeer and when he fears they were eaten by a polar bear spotted near by, he heads out searching and hoping they are OK. He and his elfs happen upon a house in the woods, There is a ruckus inside, when he knocks the reindeer open the door and shout surprise. They weren't eaten, they were throwing Santa a surprise party....I love how the story came to life with the boys tossing out ideas and they were finally tossed together by one of the Den leaders who is a writer. He showed it to the boys on his iPad which was pretty cool. All the boys now want one.

Unfortunately, I don't have any pictures of the amazing cookies but I can tell you the homemade only theme went right out the window. There were Entenmann cookies there, plus a bunch of other store bought names.  Nothing against store brought, Entenmanns are some of my favorites but why did I spent 2 hours baking 3 dozen cookies! Ugh!

It was a really good time!

The Reindeer screamed surprise and invited Santa into the party. Handsome looks like he has no idea what he is doing on that stage. Basically he kept hiking his pants up all night. His belt was on but he didn't make it tight enough. Poor kid was also tired. When you get up at 5:30 this is bound to happen.

After the skit the boys received their respective badges! Handsome was thrilled to get one. I wasn't since I had sent over 25 different things I thought for sure he would have quite a few. Asked his Den leader who I had to pay to get my son decorated. He told me he would explain it to me later. I am still waiting. Hey, if I need to grease the palm, I will.

Heading up to get his award. He was thrilled!

After this, Santa came in with a bag full of Box Derby cars that the boys need to do for January. Umm...have no idea what that is so I will be handing it off to the Teach. I take him to these things, he can do the project!

Breakfast With Santa

While out and about with the kids two weeks ago I ran into the Mayor who sweetly mentioned to the kids at least 5 times about a Breakfast With Santa and asked if they were going. I was well aware and had done it with the kids in the past but it is never worth the cost for us. The kids eat nothing and I get sick each time I but since they had answered her Yes when she kept saying are you going, I was strong armed into it. It is a good time; rushed but still nice considering I know about 85% of the folks there. There is something to be said about living in small towns. You always run into friends.

We went in and paid our $16.00 or whatever it was. ate, did some shopping, got our photo taken and then I snapped a few while the kids were talking to the guy in the red suit. He is really nice and has been the Santa around all month so the kids keep seeing the same guy. Really nice so there is little confusion for the younger children. While my kids know this isn't Santa, they know he can tell the "BIG" guy what they want so they did. It is always fun to listen in but I did allow them their private time too. Wish I could have had them wearing a wire so I could listen to what they were talking about but everyone deserves privacy, even my kids.

Princess Recovery By Jennifer L. Hartstein PsyD

The 411: As the mom of a 6 year old spitfire and a Daisy leader to 10 girls I love reading books about creating balance and confidence in young girls. I worry about the preteens in my life who seem to be going through so much already. As a young girl, (and sometimes still do) confidence was something I completely lacked. There was no one protecting, monitoring or filtering out what I saw or heard. I see it now with so many of my female friends, family and more who ask young kids if they have a boyfriend, or girlfriend in school and the kids are only 4 - 12 years old. So many think it is cute  when young children have a crush or wear "sexy" clothes. Personally I find it repulsive. When Goddess was a toddler and anyone said she was pretty, I would follow with she is smart too! Little girls grow up hearing things like "pretty, sexy, thin, etc" and these words sit with them and if they are not these things or if they are, they feel THIS is what matters. Dr. Hartstein's method doesn't have to be followed to a T but it is a great place to start.

Raising a smart, strong, empowered girl starts with what she is learning at home. Check yourself and make sure you are sending the most positive message. Evaluate your own morals. Girls grow up way to fast.

I love the age appropriate break down in each section too. From ages 2-3, 4-5, 6-8 you can help your daughters create a strong sense of self which will enable them to make the right decisions that will help them the rest of their lives.

My hope for Goddess is that she keeps your spirit. She is funny and doesn't conform. She knows what it means to have a good heart, to help people, and she is confident in her mastered abilities. However, as a people pleaser she is often hurt by words like, "I don't like you," "You are not my friend," "You are stupid", the annoying things other kids say when they don't have others telling them how to be a nice person. I simply ask her, "Are you stupid?" or "do they talk to you?" When she says No or yes respectively I remind her that words only hurt us if we let them. If you know you are NOT those things or Don't do those things, ignore them.

I have a long way to go to make sure that Goddess comes out empowered on the other side. I can only pray that I am doing right by her. Hopefully by spending time with her and allowing her to be herself, while filtering out the things she doesn't need to know or see, plus the help of Princess Recovery she will be a strong, wonderful woman who doesn't NEED to feel validated by others. I can only pray.

My daughter is my princess but I hope she grows up knowing she can still wear a tiara if she wants under her firefighter uniform if that is what she chooses to be.

Let your girls be who they are going to be, but lead the way with good healthy morals that teach her compassion, responsibility, appreciation of inner beauty over outer beauty!

The Daisys Do Some Day Trips

Well in this case they do night trips...we meet at 6:30 p.m. Me and my fearless co-leader took our Daisy's to the Police Station and Fire House earlier this month. Our Daisy's are a fun troop of girls including my own but I love all of these girls especially the ones I have known for the past three years who were in Goddess' preschool class.

They are so sweet and funny and as much as I didn't want to take on one more thing, being with my 10 girls is a fun part of my week.

We are trying to condense two years into one as these girls are on a mission to be Brownies next year. The leader last year fizzled out and didn't really do anything to keep the group progressing. We are confident that our girls will move forward with all the accomplishments they need.

Two days of trips was hard to fit into this already busy month but so worth it. Our Police and Fire Department are an amazing group. We see them often as they come to the school for many things and host the town on Fire Prevention. They also star in a lot of our parades and such so we know a lot of them by name which makes it all the more personal as we headed in with our group.

Goddess and the other girls were excited and asked A LOT of questions. Thankfully these guys are patient because I would have lost it half way through if I were the one speaking to the group.

The girls loved being fingerprinted. I took a photo of all the girls getting their fingers done. Goddess was last and at this point my girls were moving into the next room so I never got a shot of her facing the camera. 

Their favorite part was being put in the prison cell. The moms and I were creeped out by the cell but the girls loved being in there. Can you see how happy they all are? A little too happy if you ask me.

Here is my Goddess in a bullet proof vest. They are lighter than you would think.

We are going to make copies of the pictures for our Police Department and have the girls sign a card for the guys time. They really are great guys.

Goddess looks bored in the middle but trust me she was probably as worried as I was about someone else holding my Canon 50D! God help them.

The next day we headed to the fire house to meet another group of guys.  Our girls again were relentless with their questions. The guys went over the parts of each truck and all the components on them. It was quite detailed and way too much information but the girls were not bored one bit as the guys just kept answering.

They girls each got to sit in the driver seat for a photo op. Here is my boo-boo...

After that we took a shot of them in the back of the truck. My hope is to present each girl with her own photo album at the end of the year as a way to remember her year as a Daisy. Hopefully it doesn't cost me too much. It's like a where's Waldo shot. Can you find Goddess?

Next the guys did what they do every time they go to the school. They put on a uniform as the kids watch. Statistics show that many children are afraid of the firefighters coming through the smoky house with the strange breathing sound and hide. Only to parish in a fire hiding from the person who could have saved them. The girls had a lot of questions about the suit.

After he was suited up, the firefighters explained about the special alarm that tells other firefighters where one of their own is if God forbid they get injured or collapses in a fire. If the firefighter doesn't move an alarm will go off. To show how this works, Firefighter John threw himself on the ground and didn't move. The alarm does get very loud, we all held our ears.

After that, we asked him to pose with our girls. Mine was rather interested in the firefighter next to her, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

When it was over, a firefighter opened the door (one of the dads of a Daisy) and let the girls pose by the truck. Can you tell they were freezing? It wa-assss brrrr cold!

All in all, our girls and our parents had a great time! Loved every minute.

It's The Little Things...

Having kids is one of the best parts of my life. That, my husband, good friends, a balanced outlook and the air I breathe.

This year while Teach and Goddess were putting up the holiday decorations outside they found a huge hole from mice in our blow up decorations. Ugh...just what we need, another cost for the season. I my head, I thought...OK..well this year, no blow ups. We don't need the additional expense.

Nope, Teach is a good dad and when he promises, he usually comes through....

He headed out and picked up an animated snow globe, the kind with snow that moves around inside.

He started putting it up as I headed to the bus stop to pick up the kids. We walked back and they noticed our neighbors set up...ooohhhhing and ahhhing. I couldn't wait for them to notice ours so I said, "I see something else that is pretty cool or something like that."

They came running up to the house, shouting, "that is so cool!" Loved it.


After dark we headed outside as a family to see how it looked. Kids are easy, we don't have a lot of lights and stuff, but they LOVE it and that is all we care about.

I love this picture of Goddess with the elf hat and her missing bottom teeth...oh yeah...my baby lost two teeth but I have been too busy to write about it. Makes me crazy.

Here she is pointing at the house telling Handsome to look at it...because he was busy running around. Crazy that in December we were outside without coats. In fact, Handsome has his PJs on because that is how he rolls. He comes home and changes right away where Goddess is in her clothes until the very end.

Believe

Christmas Decorations are one of my favorite things to take photos of next to my children.

Because God Forbid She Lets Him Take A Photo Alone

Handsome asked for his photo with the Grinch to be taken. His teacher sent him home with the book and the stuffed doll. He needed to write about what he did with the Grinch in a universal journal that the class shares. He was so excited to read what his friends did with the Grinch and since the Grinch goes back to school to move onto the next child he really wanted some photos.

Goddess just couldn't control herself. I had to crop her out of every photo! Except these.

She is completely nuts

Can You Believe It's Almost Here?

Handsome and the Grinch!

This week is flying by.
I started a data entry job on Monday. It is turning into a little more than data entry. Don't think they really know what they want me to do. Hopefully they figure it out eventually. Interesting having them talk about me as if I am not there. They are all very nice thankfully which makes taking it easier. Working in an office was the last thing I ever wanted to do again. It is how I spent almost all of my life before having my kids and was never pleasant. Sitting at a desk with chatty woman is never a good thing for me. I prefer the quiet, non drama of being alone at home working from my computer but $12.00 an hour is $12.00 an hour.

It feels strange to start a job (especially one I didn't see coming) the week before Christmas. There is so much to do but so far it has been accommodating.

No work today which means, I will spend much of the day preparing for the next week and a half. The kids will be home starting tomorrow so all holiday stuff HAS to be done.

3 more presents to wrap. This is the first year they will not be even. I started out making sure that they have exactly the same amount of gifts but over the last week, some have been added and I have a feeling they are unbalanced. Is anyone else like this? You need to have the numbers the same with your kids even though one of their gifts costs so much more than the other.

I could buy Goddess so much more since she never asks for $39+ electronic games. The items on her list are usually more in the $10.99 - $12.00 range and so much larger than a Wii game. Started putting Handsome's stuff in bigger boxes just so it looks like more. Kids are so funny. He rips through his stuff in record time just oohhhing and ahhiing...while she opens slowly, looks at it, shows us the item, looks at it again and then has to be told to get her next gift. He is done almost 15 minutes before her and looks at her like, "wait a minute, you have more than me!"

Handsome also is an early bird. We have never opened gifts after the 7:00 a.m. hour. We are usually done before that. His normal wake up time is a few minutes after 6:00 a.m. but on Christmas his present to us is usually waking before 5:00. Hooray. This year we told him to hold off until 7:00 but when I hear him awake, I can't sleep. Now that he is older, he walks into the living room and goes through the gifts spoiling our pleasure of seeing him see his stuff! My parents used to make us wait on the stairs and not go down until they were awake. They went down before us to turn on the Christmas Tree lights, music and get the camera ready. Being such good kids we would never have thought of going against them. Not my kids. No respect!

2 more days and I can't wait. I am so excited to see their reaction to some of their items this year. Hopefully they will be as happy as I am expecting.

How do you do Christmas Morning?

The World's Oldest Joke Book - Perfect Stocking Stuffer Idea

Still looking for that special stocking stuffer for the adult in your life? How about The World's Oldest Joke Book by Dan Crompton.

My father-in-law is the perfect candidate for this book. His jokes are legendary for being the absolute worst. We even call other family member's bad jokes, "A Peno`. Peno has always been one of my favorites in my husband's family. He is just too silly not to love. He cracks up easily and especially when telling his own joke. In fact, some of the jokes may have come out of his mouth in the 20 years I have known him.

Sailor: Where’s the wind coming from today?
Captain: Onions and cabbages.

Apparently farting has been funny for a very long time. Well, at least since the fourth century when Philogelos was written by the ancient Greeks.

The perfect gift for the men in our lives who tell terrible jokes!

This is a fun book to read out loud at a gathering. Someone is sure to laugh. Pass the book around, sometimes it is the delivery and not the words. Stocking stuffers should always be under $10.00 and this one is. Happy reading!

Blue Monday, Mellow Yellow Monday, + Extra

I was heading into a Merchants Guild Meeting (my first for my company) and had to show you the beauty. The only thing that would have made it better is if there was Christmas Carols playing and a few snow drops. The food was amazing and I wish I could have taken photos inside but people were enjoying quiets meals and once I headed upstairs the meeting got started right away. 

This place has changed hands so many times. Hopefully these kind folks stay open a lot longer. They have amazing food and tried Doc's Pumpkin Spice, Hard Cider, (INCREDIBLE) which I have been craving ever since. Seriously need to get my hands on a bottle or at least head back there for a drink.

Isn't their porch decorations adorable? Love this...Looks like someone is ready for a nice cup of hot chocolate and a read!

A Year Ago

A year ago I was sitting in the hospital with a tube down my throat, a catheter and three IV's. I was alone except for a very busy nursing staff.

A year ago, I missed my kids and husband terribly and wanted in the worst way to be home.

A year ago, I prayed that I would heal fast.

A year ago, my life was scary.

A year ago, wasn't that long ago but thankfully, it it behind me.

Lifetime Double Feature

The 411:
These movies are good if you love Christmas movies and if you are fan of Lifetime Movies. Maybe not in my top 20 Christmas movie list but definitely movies I would watch again.

In Christmas in Paradise, we meet two families celebrating the Christmas Holiday while taking a cruise into the Caribbean. One family is without a father and the other without a mother. The parental units are missing for different reasons; one has passed away and the other has abandoned the family.

Each family is having a difficult time and when they end up befriending each other, the families share a sense of healing and understanding. Eureka's Colin Ferguson and the beautiful Charlotte Ross from Glee are the struggling single parents and they both play their roles very subdued allowing the children to shine. Colin Ferguson spends most of his time making "I am so ashamed of you" and "Please let me help you faces."  The children actors are talented and I love all the hocky singing and prancing about. I even love the rebellious daughter who is doing anything to show how much she doesn't care and the precocious younger sister who seems to have all the answers. Very cute movie. I love happy endings.


Deck the Halls stars Gabrielle Carteris of 90210 fame and a new face for me who is complete eye candy, Steve Bacic.

This is about a widowed woman named Holly who moves back to assist her father's toy company with her 8 year old son, Ben.  As the CFO she is trying to wrangle the over spending by her father's favorite employee Nick. Nick has been hired to boost sales and with his swarm of midget friends and reindeer pets, Ben believes he has finally met Santa. After being set up by her son Ben who writes emails to her from a secret admirer, she and Nick get to know each other a little better. As her son gets closer to Nick, she reluctantly asks him to distance himself knowing that Nick will be leaving in December. When Ben's dog is hurt, Nick promises them everything will be OK. Is Nick Santa? Ummm...if so, he is the cutest Santa ever!

My only problem with the movie is that while Ben asks Santa for his father back, he is still trying to set up his mom. Umm...strange 8 year old.

This is an adorable movie about believing and miracles.

Tuesday Takes - Holiday Decorations

We decorate earlier than we used to. Kids tend to do that to you. Their excitement ignites something inside you and you want to make it as perfect and special as possible for them.

My husband's decorations get better each year as he purchases more things for the front of the house. We lost our inflatables over the season due to mice eating huge holes in them. I hope those little bastards are warm considering they forced Teach to spend money but we do love our new inflatable.

Teach and Goddess put these up two weeks ago and I love driving up to the house and seeing them especially knowing that my husband and his Daddy's girl helped did it together.

I think we are missing a nice, big wreath over the door.

Can't Stop Thinking About It!

Last year at this time I was getting ready to go into surgery for a problem with my intestine. It was one of  the most stressful, scary times in my life and my anxiety was at an all time high.

Preparing to leave my family to have major surgery right before the holidays made me so sad and I remember being stressed about not being home for Christmas.  It was the most important thing to me. I just had to be home. I remember saying, please Lord, let me not spend Christmas in the hospital.

I went in on the 14th which was the same day as the kids Christmas Concert. In pre op, Teach stayed with me until the last moment. I NEEDED him to go to the school and take video of the kids since I couldn't be there. I NEEDED to see it. Knowing I was going into surgery and had no one waiting for me at the hospital made me anxious too.

The whole fiasco was such a trying time in my life and at such a memorable time of the year that it weighs heavy on me. Hopefully it goes away with every passing year but for now, I am watching the calendar and the clock remember what I was doing this time last year.

To read about the whole thing....go here


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Ruby Tuesday - Holiday Picture Outtakes

The other I asked the kids to put on their selected holiday clothes and get next to the tree for our annual Christmas Card photo session.

I wasn't feeling it, it was after homework and that is never good. Goddess is the worst homework worker ever! Takes sometimes 2 hours to do 15 minutes of work. She sucks! Usually everything is too hard or she hides under the table saying she doesn't know. Not sure what she has been doing in school since 3 years of age but she doesn't seem to know anything. Then when you finally are at your wits end. She comes through. She is obviously playing with us but ughhhhh.....it takes everything not to start swinging.

The kids ran and put on their Christmas outfits and we proceeded.

Here are some that have not made the cut and there were too many of those.

Handsome's face....umm...yeah...I don't have words. Nevermind, the crazy, spastic hands. What the heck?

This would have been OK but Goddess was doing some move as I shot. I think it was a freeze dance or maybe she had an itch but whatever it was, she moved and we lost the shot. Handsome biting is lip is cute to me. I would have used it.

Yeahh....nooooo...not sure where this pose came from but it will never be developed.

Handsome's crazy moves make me believe he recently watched someone bowing on stage. Not sure where this move came from but it will not ever be developed either. Especially with the weird shadows under his throat.

Handsome is practicing his hitch hiking pose I assume. That or he is saying, take my sister, please!

This one could have worked if Handsome had just looked at me. I kept saying "look at the camera!" He kept saying, "I am!" Ugh...not just with your face, with your eyes child! Grr....

I Said NO! by Zack & Kimberly King

Perfect for teaching about inappropriate touching

The 411:

As a child of molestation by a family member, this is something I am very passionate about. I never want any other child to suffer like I did. The shame, confusion and guilt I felt as a child and now anger I feel as an adult toward this, is something I pray my children never ever feel.

My children are 6 and 8 years old and while we always said things like, "your privates are private" and "no one should see or touch your privates" we never went further and I trust no one so they are never alone with anyone but I knew that as they get more involved with school and extra curricular activities this should be discussed. Over the summer when we had some peers out, there was a child who asked my son to "sign" his butt. My kids thought it was funny. I did not! It made me feel nauseous and worried.   It was then that we upped the conversations a little pulling in my son's den leader to give a lecture to the boys about inappropriate touching.

I Said, No by Zack and Kimberly King helped me talk more about this with my children in a non scary way.  The book discusses the a green and red flag system. Green flags are your caregivers like your parents and and doctors who sometimes will see your privates. "Your doctor will examine your privates only if mom or dad are in the room, to make sure all parts of your body are healthy.  When you are younger, your parents or caregivers will clean your bottom and bath you because you are too young to do this yourself. These are green flag people.

Your red flag people are the ones who make you feel:
upset
uncomfortable
lonely
sad
yucky
etc.

The book than goes on to explain various ways you would want to throw up a red flag.

bribing
touching
threatening
etc.

This is a great system and a great way to begin the process of explaining to young children one of the dangers they may encounter in their lives. Sexual predators aren't always mean, old, ugly, strangers. Sometimes they are nice, neighborly, friendly or even family.

I highly recommend this book for any one with children.

Depending on your child, their age and comprehension this is a great start. Was able to ask open ended questions to my children and give them information that we will go over again and again. My 6 year old was a little bored with some of the repetitiveness but I believe this to be a great starting place for parents to broach the subject of sexual predators without being too scary.

Another Earth on DVD Is Worth The Watch

The 411: I have now read over 10 reviews on this movie and can't believe the balance of love and hate. Personally, I loved it! We meet Rhoda Williams a seemingly intelligent young girl who loves astrophysics and will be going to MIT. While hearing on her car radio that another planet has been spotted she looks out her window to find the blue dot. We see a man, John Burroughs, with his family stopped at I assume a traffic light with his wife and their young son in the back seat. The boy appears to be in a car seat but I cannot tell. Rhoda's car hits them head on and the movie goes forward from there. These two strangers lives become intertwined as they struggle through the events of their life after to accident.  The planet turns out to be a duplicate Earth and apparently we have duplicates there.  As their lives re-awaken Rhoda is granted the opportunity of a lifetime, to travel to this other Earth and visit this alternative reality. This is not a science fiction movie but more of a redemption with a twist. The actors make this movie for me. The plot combines a very real, complex emotional ride with the underlying alternate reality taking a subplot backseat. The slow, steady, patient pace creates emotion that you couldn't get if the storyline was rushed.  My only compliant was how detached her parents were. Rhoda is not a bad girl, she is not a flighty girl, hell, she was accepted to MIT's Astrophysics Program, yet, her terrible accident is made to seem like she is irresponsible and a drunk. Was she? I don't recall her drinking but I do know she left a party and got behind the wheel. Brit Marling does a wonderful job of making you think she is in fact a 17 year old guilt ridden young woman. When in fact 27 and the co-writer, co-producer of this movie and another called Sound of My Voice. Very impressed with this young woman and can't wait to see what else she does.

Country Dance for Wii

Enter to win Country Dance for Wii from 2 Boys + 1 Girl = One Crazy Mom - Enter here

My Sister's Epiphany

A few days before Thanksgiving I was speaking to my sister.  We don't get to speak often and I haven't seen her in over a year. I look forward to our conversations on the phone so when I got her and was in my car, I quickly parked and turned the car off to give her all my attention. She is a funny, funny woman and we usually spend a lot of time laughing on the phone. On this particular call she was talking about her life and when she was done, I asked her to write it down and send it to me so that when she forgets what she said, I could read it back to her but also to share with you guys.

Here, is my sister's epiphany which by the way she typed on her phone:

A few years ago my husband went through some sort of mental and emotional breakdown!  At first I was very concerned and gave him all the support that I could muster!
 

It started with impotency! We went to his primary care physician! He suggested seeing a urologist to rule out any medical conditions.  When he was cleared physically both doctors suggested he seek a therapist.  His urologist gave him a prescription for a drug called Cialis!  This drug is comparable to Viagra.  We poured over the suggested phsyciatric doctors from our medical plan book.  After finding one in our neighborhood, my husband started seeing her once a week
 

After several visits the phsycologist consulted with his primary doctor.  They both agreed to put him on an antidepressant!

I was so full of hope and very supportive of my husband!  We had always had a great sexual relationship so I was struggling with the lack of intimacy!  He had always made me feel like the most beautiful and sexually desirable woman in the world, so the lack of emotional and sexual attention started to take its toll on me.  Still I stood behind him and hoped that everything between us would be okay.

Two years later my husband was still struggling with his inner self.  I was slowly convincing myself that my husband was no longer in love with me and no longer found me sexually attractive. The situation was not limited to just the two of us! It started to affect his relationship with our children and he stopped contacting the majority of his friends.
 

It was around this time that I started to cut him emotionally from my heart.  I was convinced that my husband was unhappy with his life with me.  I was so sure that he wanted out but did not want to be the bad guy.

Having had a traumatic and dissappointing childhood,  I started to resent my husband.  How dare this man that I changed my whole life to accomodate, be so cruel, cold and uncaring?  I started to say what I was feeling. The mean things I said fell from my mouth to easily.  I yelled and screamed.  I told him that what he was going through was something that I had not signed on for when we were married. 

I started to change who I was so that he would feel better.  All that did was make me more resentful.

Three years after the initial breakdown, my husband accepted a buy-out from the company he had spent 15 years working for!  This turned into 2 years of him being unemployed. 

After 2 years of medication and therapy that was not helping we both decided, along with his primary care physician, to stop both. It was during this time of unemployment that I started to get to know more about myself and what role I played in my husbands inability to bounce back emotionally. The more I looked at how I was behaving and what I was saying to my husband, the more I realized that I was never really very supportive while he struggled with his emotions!  I used my childhood experiences as the basis for what I pervceived as my husbands emotional abandonment!  He hadn't really abandoned me.  It was I who abandoned him!  Instead of focusing on how to help him, I focused on how I was going to help myself. I started to look for employment so that when I left him  I could financially support myself as well as our children.  I also started keeping his family at arms length so that it would be easier to walk away from them as well as him.  The way I was conducting myself suggested that it was I, who wanted out.
 

I don't know exactly how, or when it happened, but I started to realize that maybe I should look at myself and the way I was handling this situation.  On New Years Day 2011 I decided that I needed to approach things we were going through in a different way.  Instead of blaming him when things get tough I now look to see what my role was!  This has changed the way I perceived many things.  Now I see that the things I said and did during this time made him feel even more inadequate and insecure.

 I apologized to my husband for not being as supportive as I thought I was.  I have also apologized for telling him that his breakdown was something I did not sign up for!  The day we said I do, I promised to be true to him in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health.  I promised to love him and honor him all the days of my life!  When I  reminded him of this  it was as if someone had turned a switch back on in his mind!

Since I told him this, our life together has improved dramatically.
     
I won't lie and say we are back and better than ever.  We are doing well emotionally but sexually we are still struggling!  We both want to be back on track in the bedroom but there is still a little awkwardness!  Hopefully one day soon, we will be able to resolve that issue.  Right now we are concentrating on rebuilding our emotional attachment!  With any luck we will be whole soon.
 

By the way, since I took ownership of my role in our experience, my husband is back to work, he is rebuilding his relationship with the kids and has reached out to all of his friends.
 

Maybe, just maybe, we will  have it all back better than it was before!  For now I am quite content and so is he!


I think what my sister wrote is very brave. It takes some people their entire lives, if ever, to reach a place where they see their role in the way things are going in their life. We are in charge of our own lives. We are the driver of our path and the direction we want it to go. Many will try to change your path, derail your train, or whatever other saying you want to come up with, but it is YOU who are in charge of your destiny.  I am sure there are times, I will have to remind her of this but hopefully they will both grow and remember why they got together in the first place. We, as couples, don't always agree with each other but as long as we can accept each others differences, don't feel compromised, we can work things out. Knowing your role in your life is the first step to finding happiness with your spouse again. It can happen and as long as we remember that we do not have to agree with our spouse and we aren't so self important to try to change them, all will be well.

Peace Out!

Ruby Tuesday - Santa Photos

This past Sunday, I volunteered to take pictures with Santa for a near by Village. As a photographer, I really want to capture a moment, a feeling, just freeze one moment in time to be saved forever. This weekend being allowed to witness families as their children experience Santa, some for the very first time, was a blessing especially when I got to see my own children.  My niece and mother-in-law came in to take them because the last thing I would want is to have them miss out because I was volunteering my time. I leaned over to say "next family" and there they were!

Santa looks a little bit like a deer in headlights but I can tell you that we had been there over two hours and he was still doing the same thing with each child. First he asked for names, then if they felt they were in the nice or naughty book. If one said, naughty and most siblings explained that their siblings were, he would open the book and show them a blank page where their name should be. Then he asked what they wanted for Christmas. He would comment on it and follow up with, "what are you going to leave for me on Christmas Eve?" After he would ask them to hold his hands and they would all turn to the camera where I would get down on my knee and shoot!. Truly the best time. Families were able to pick their pictures up right after, where my friend Kevin and his wife were at a computer and printer printing and inserting them in holiday cards.

I loved this picture of Handsome and Santa discussing the books that I had to play with the color.

What a great experience, I can't wait to do it again next year.

Happy Ruby Tuesday to you. If you have a chance, please check out my colorful photo meme called Color Carnival which goes up Saturday night. It has become a sad and lonely little meme and could use some new blood.

Dead Fred, Flying Lunchboxes and The Good Luck Circle by Frank McKinney

What I Can Tell You:

I am completely ready for the movie! Lets go movie studios snatch this one up! Frank McKinney with Kate Mason take us on a delightful tale full of wonder and amazement. Ppeekk (Peekie) is a 13 year old girl who is starting a new school in Florida since moving from Indiana with her mother and father. While walking with her cell phone busy dad on her first day of school she notices a little man on the back of a truck who changes her whole world.  After he blows a magical smoke ring Ppeekk finds Dead Fred. Dead Fred is an almost dead fish known as King Frederick from a underwater world called High Voltage.

Along with Dead Fred, we meet Megalodon, an evil prehistoric shark the size of a whale who wants to rule the areas above and below the water.

With water spiders who weave air bubbles, Ppeekk and her friends must do what they can to return Dead Fred and save the many inhabitants of High Voltage

I enjoyed the book and plan on reading it to my kids this summer. I think they are too young to stay engrossed through 300 pages but I am praying for a movie and more to the series. 

I think my kids will appreciate the world of High Voltage especially the creatures below. Very entertaining and fun while being educational too! My favorite parts were when Dad, finally wakes up and steps in to help Ppeekk. As a parent this is a great reminder to stay in the present and give our children our time. It goes so fast, they are only little once.

Why Wait Until January 1st To Get Organized!? Start Early

I never thought I would be a business woman. It wasn't something I saw in my future ever! Secretary since 16, Administrative Assistant up until the age of 36, got pregnant with my first born and became a stay at home mom. It was exactly what I wanted to do.

Here I am 45 years old running my own Social Media Business and Community Webzine for a small town because after losing their paper they really needed to know what was going on. 

With 3 clients, and a slew of community events to keep up with, two kids, a house, husband, family, friends, Cub Scouts, Daisys, and Soccer staying organized is something that I really have to concentrate more on.

The Sickies Got Us

We are finally coming out of it but it started on Wednesday! Handsome came home from school and said he wanted to lie down that his stomach hurt. Wait! (insert screeching brakes). He doesn't want to play Wii???!!! We knew we were in for something.

He spent the whole night throwing up and poor Teach slept on the floor with him after doing a few loads of laundry.

The next day, he and I stayed home. There was no way he was going to school after that. He needed time to get his energy back. It was a slow process but eventually by 2:00PM he was feeling himself.

Great, we were done! Nope, I came home from my Daisy meeting with Goddess and started feeling weak and tired. Then my head started hurting, followed quickly by my stomach. Ughhhhh noooooo...
The feeling was overwhelming and I figured maybe I was just tired. The pain in my stomach was unbearable. As someone who went through intestinal surgery last year at this time I can tell you that the pain was a little too familiar. Along with the headache, stomach cramps the feeling of nausea was overwhelming.  Finally, it started. The vomiting was torture. I have a hernia from surgery and I have to hold it to vomit. Ugh...the worst night but I kept myself going by reminding myself this would be short lived. Handsome was fine in 24 hours.

I woke the next morning to Handsome's very concerned face. "What happened? Why is there a bucket here?" "It's OK. I was sick last night." "Do you have to go to the hospital" he asked. "I can't take you, I don't drive." I assured him, "No honey, I am OK. I was just sick." "OK, because it is only 24 days until Christmas and I don't want you to go back to the hospital." This was when I looked at him and realized he  was worried that this was going to be like last year and I wouldn't be mentally around for Christmas. Like me, he was thinking about last year. It was exactly this time last year that I was getting ready to go to the hospital. This has been weighing heavy on my mind too! I hugged him and told him, that like him, I would also get better. He seemed fine after that.

Walking into the living room to wake Teach who had slept on the couch trying not to catch what I had. I asked, "Can you help me get the kids ready for school?" He sat up and said, "I'm not feeling well either." If we get them to school and Goddess gets sick, who will get her, neither of us can drive right now. So, we established that it would be a sick day for all of us.

We slept on and off. Still recovering it was going on 10:30 when Goddess came to us and told us, "I threw up." Ugh...it was all over her room with a trail to the bathroom which she was trying to make her way to.

What can parents do? We unfogged our heads and started scrubbing her rugs and pulling sheets off the bed. She had a rough night as did I!

Today, we are feeling better. The kids doing much better than us but sheets are being cleaned. The house is being Lysol'd and the bathroom bleached.

Hopefully this bug stays away from us for a long, long time. At least it happened to all of us at the same time and hopefully won't make its way back around.

Hope everyone is feeling good! Have a great day.

The Art of Getting By Starring Emma Roberts & Freddie Highmore

Last month I wrote about The Art of Getting By coming onto DVD on November 29th! Today I finally watched it and was blown away once again by Freddie.

The 411:

Freddie plays George a senior in high school with a lot on his mind. He is deep, thoughtful and artistic probably something that isn't too far from the real Freddie! Emma is a popular senior who befriends Freddie after he takes the blame for something she does. He is used to being the problem and figured he would take the fall instead of her.

Some of the reviews talk about how "scattered", "mopey" "dreadful" or "self centered" this movie is, but I will tell you none of that!

Freddie and Emma are wonderful actors who took a dreary, slow, somber script about coming of age as teens about to embark on a new path in life and gave it life!

Freddie Highmore who we have all come to love in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Arthur and the Invisibles, August Rush, Finding Neverland is right up there with Dakota Fanning as far as acting chops. I cannot wait to see how far he does. He has grown into a tall child (5'10) and has border Zac Efron looks.

Emma Roberts is Kristen Stewart without the awkwardness and quiet mannerisms.

Freddie's George is a deep, thoughtful, smart boy who has way too much going on in his artistic head. The weight of his family life and his unsure movement into manhood creates a tornado of emotions that he doesn't have the tools to deal with. The secondary characters, especially in his school Blair Underwood, Alicia Silverstone, Jarloth Conroy are wonderful. My favorite moments of the movie were with his teachers and principles.

I was sobbing in his last scene with Jarloth Conroy!

Freddie is AMAZING so forget about all the other reviews and see this for what it is...a stepping stone of an amazing actor moving from children's movies into adult movies.