I Always Knew I Would Be One of THOSE Parents

It is only the second day of school and already I had a conversation with the principal. Yeah, I'm one of THOSE parents, what of it.

Nothing bad happened I just thought that it was unfair that my son's class had to wait 15 minutes to be taken into school today.

Here, let me paint the picture.

School starts 8:50 a.m.
We got there at 8:45 a.m.
The buses started coming in at 8:55 a.m.
Bus 1 lets out and the teachers aids starts putting together single file groups of children by teacher's name (4 teachers). I send my son over to his line.
The first group heads into the school
The second group heads into the school
The third group heads into the school
My son's line remains standing.

Bus 2 arrives, lines are formed and my son's line added onto by the new kids coming off the bus.
The first group heads into the school
The second group heads into the school
The third group heads into the school
My son's line remains standing.

Bus 3 arrives, lines are formed and my son's line added onto by........blah, blah blah
The same thing happens with the lines going into the school.
What the hell???

I walk over to the aid in front of my son's line and ask, "Will this happen every morning, where these kids are held here until the last bus?" She says, "this line?" I say, "Yes, this line, my son's line."

She says, "yes, probably."

Umm...so after the last of the lines from bus 3 head in my son's very full (19 kids) heads in.

WTF?

So, now it is 9:15 and my son has been standing in front of the school waiting patiently to go in since 8:45 a.m. Why am I getting there on time if this will happen every day?

How can you expect 19 kindergarten kids to remain standing in single file for over 20 minutes while they watch the other classes head in.

Here's the thing, my son's class teacher and room is new. There was a boom in registration and they had to get a fourth class. They put the fourth class on a different floor because they didn't have room in the kindergarten wing. There are 3 flights of stairs to get to the second floor and obviously the aid doesn't want to do the trip up and down. The other aids who head in after each bus simply stay on the ground floor. Those kids get to come in off the bus ride or mom's car and have some down time before class begins.

Not, my son's class who have to remain standing and then head into class to sit at desks until 3:20.

The fact that the classroom is on a different floor is not the problem of the students this is a problem for the school.

If the aid has a problem going up and down everyday, maybe they could get a back up aid or the teacher could come down and take the first group and second group up while the lazy aid (not nice, I know) waits for bus 3.

As my son's class headed in and the principal turned to follow I said, "excuse me, can I ask you something?" Then I asked him exactly what I asked the aid. I also told him that I understood it was only the second day and that I wasn't looking to start trouble but I felt it was unfair for that last class to wait there while they watch 9 groups walk into the school before them. That it was unfair to expect those kids to stand in single file before school for 20 minutes and then head up into a classroom and be expected to not be a little hyped up after a 20 minute ride to school and then a 20 minute stand in line like a solider. I even offered to walk a group up if he needed a volunteer.

He laughed about the volunteer thing, "ohhh noooo..hahahaah"...then talked about it being the first few days and working the kinks out. He also said he would talk to the teacher and see if they could work something out.

I highly doubt she was spoken to but I intend on speaking with her myself, just to let her know how well behaved they are outside and that I would be willing to walk a group up.

It just seems unfair to think that children 4-6 should be expect to stand in line for so long when it is not their fault that the class is on another floor. It is the schools problem and they have to make amends for it. It has to be handled and if I see the same thing tomorrow, I will have to head into Mr. Principal's office just to once again.

Other than that, my son had another fantastic day.

The aid who I had spoken to in the morning told me that he had a great day and that he is a fantastic listener. As if I didn't know.

Ahhhhh...and so it begins. PTSA, here I come are you ready????

1st Day of Kindergarten Is Over

So, the first day has come and gone. My girlfriend took a picture of her son with my son this morning. Thankfully she did because I didn't get any pictures of him at school.

He was very excited to start today. Notice the silly face. For some reason the silly face is in and it unfortunately is here to stay.

I had everything ready the night before thinking that the morning needed to run smoothly because I wasn't sure how he would be.

He got dressed, was a little quiet on the way to school but that is typical. He is waaaay more quiet than my daughter who needs to fill every moment with words.

We met his father in the parking lot and walked to the school. I spoke to all the moms I knew from the past few years and everyone seemed quite comfortable. I believe my son and maybe 4 others were the only few who didn't take the bus. I will be driving and picking him up while I can.

While he was getting dressed he asked, "you will pick me up at 12:00 p.m?" (This was the time I picked him up for the past 3 years in preschool). I told him, "no, I will be there at 3:00." Actually he gets out after 3:00 but I didn't want to shock him anymore than he would be. He said, "no...I want to be picked up at 12:00. If you pick me up at 3:00 it will be night time soon."

When I picked him up, I sat poised with my cameras waiting for him to come down the stairs. He was the last one out, waved at me with a "hey mom", waited for his class to get through the door and then came over to hug me. I was proud that he didn't run for me through the line. He said, "I was looking for you all day. Shhhhheesshhhh, I was tired!" When I asked when he was tired he said, 1:00.

He got to play an hour of Wii. I took him and his sister to McDonalds to eat. We never eat in because I prefer to drive through and eat in the comfort of my own home. We ate there, he was so happy. We headed home for homework. One little work sheet where he had to write his name 8 times.

He said, "I love my school mom."

Hopefully tomorrow he is just as enthusiastic.

I am happy everything went well and he seems happy. There is a note going to school tomorrow because I would like to know what time they do lunch and what time they do snack. Also, his sweatshirt didn't come home and no one helped him open his water so he came home with 2 bottles of water, drinking out of the fountain instead.

Other than that....everything seems peachy keen jelly bean.

I am so proud of you J. You are amazing and we can't wait to see all the changes you make this year. I am mostly looking forward to the sign language that you are going to learn this year. Maybe you can teach me.

Tonight I read him the Kissing Hand which is the book that was read to him in school today. I love that book. It really is a great first day of school book.

My 1st Baby Starts Kindergarten Tomorrow

Tomorrow my first born begins Kindergarten. I have so many things going on in my head as I try to rectify this in my life. He actually should be starting 1st Grade so I should be happy that I had an extra year with him to enjoy his being home but I am still so sad. Actually, sad is not the word I would use. Maybe sad, makes it sound like I am crying, nervous, and heartbroken that my baby is growing up. This is not the case at all. I am excited for him. He is going to learn so many new things this year and I know that I have to let him fly and can't keep him in our little, safe cocoon forever but I wish I could. Not that this would be fair to him but I want to hold my babies as long as possible. It all changes to quickly.

I am very comfortable that he will be in good hands at school. His teacher, new to our school district and hired only about 2-3 weeks ago seems amazing and energized. I have met her 3 times and think he will do very well in her class as will the rest of his classmates. I am afraid of the changes in his schedule. The day is so long 8:50 - 3:20. I will only see him for 4.5 hours a night. He wakes at 6:15-6:30 which means a lot of down time from the time he wakes until school, then a long day, snack, play, dinner, bedtime and then all over again.

The schedule beside the fact that I will be missing so much of his day to day life is one of the reasons I have thought of homeschooling. That, and the fact that I believe school, teachers, bureaucrats, classmates and others now have too much influence on who he is going to become.

Putting him to bed tonight, I looked at him long and lean in his bed, holding his teddy bear and listening to his classical music as he has since he was born just tore at my heart. I haven't cried yet and I am hopeful I will not. Mostly, I am going to hold onto the fact that he is going to learn so much at school and I pray that he learns to love it.

God willing we will all eventually come out on the other end of this schedule change, happier, better people.

To find out why I held him back one year see this post.

Teaching Your Child To Call 911 in an Emergency

As my children get older, as I watch more of the news, I realize how important it is that my children know how and when to dial 911. All children as old as 4 should know how to call. Hopefully, they won't ever have to do it, but teaching them how could save a life.

1. Teach your child to call from the house phone -- not the cell phone. Once the call from a house phone is made, the child really doesn't need to say anything else to get help. Of course, the more detailed the information available to emergency crews, the better the response will be.

2. Tell your child not to hang up until told to do so. In most cases, 911 call-takers (operators) will keep kids on the line until responders arrive. Children want to know someone is there.

3. Kids have a tendency to mumble when they're nervous. Stress the importance of being heard and understood. The recording equipment and computers make it difficult to hear at some 911 centers.

4. Make sure your child can say his or her first and last name to the call-taker. He or she will use the child's name repeatedly.

5. Your child should listen to the questions carefully, and ask the call-taker to repeat if necessary.

6. Stress to your child the absolute importance not to make things up. Kids may see the call-taker's questions as a sort of quiz, and feel they let someone down if they don't know the answer. That can lead to some creative answers. It's much better for them to just say they're not sure and move on the next question.

7. Have your child practice on an unplugged phone. They can dial 911 and you can be the call-taker. Ask them questions about the pretend incident. Do this kind of role-playing repeatedly. Kids like make-believe and repetition.

8. Teach your child when to call 911. Use basic concepts like when an adult can't wake up, any fire that happens without an adult, or an intruder in the home. Kids get the number down (it's only three digits after all), but they sometimes get confused with when to call. Don't be discouraged if your child can't explain the right situations to you. They often understand intuitively even when they can't explain it. Encourage them to trust their "gut" feelings, and if in doubt, to call.

9. Sing a song with your young child. About.com Guide to Child Care, Robin McClure, suggests using the melody to Frere Jacques as a fire safety teaching tool.

There's a fire
There's a fire
9-1-1
9-1-1
Call the fire department
Call the fire department
9-1-1
9-1-1

10. The older the child gets, the more detailed discussions you can have about the appropriate use of 911. It's extremely important that kids not use 911 as a joke. In most jurisdictions, calling 911 for any reason other than an emergency is grounds for a citation and a fine.

What the hell is an I.E.P?

Well fact is I happen to know what it is. It is a term used in Early Intervention Services for an Individual Education Plan. My Handsome has been in Early Intervention Services for almost 3 years now. It started with speech in 2005.

I have spoken very little about my son's early education (here is a little background on why the whole process was started in the first place) on my blog because the whole process is such a bore and truly mostly unnecessary. While I agree that early intervention is very important, I think that most professionals fail to consider personal life experiences and base everything on a few charts written up by other professionals.

Today, while sitting in yet another I.E.P meeting with a bunch of people as we decided on how to proceed with my son's services, I was reminded of my first impression of these people.

I walked into the meeting armed with an envelope of pictures of my son. I was ready to roll up my sleeves and beat the shit out of anyone who said anything I considered negative or personal. This was my son, a 2 year old baby who just welcomed a new sister into his life and these people, these strangers were going to tell me how I should handle him and his speech delay based on calculations they come up with from interviewing him. Interviewing my 23 month old!

I threw the envelope on the table as I wheeled my sleeping newborn in her carriage into the meeting. "This is the boy you are about to discuss. I know he is only a name on all that paperwork. Here is is." They were excited to look through the pictures and said that they wished more people came in with them. I softened a bit and waited to hear what they had to say. I agreed with only about 25% of their findings and felt that a lot of things were taken out of context. I had sat down the night before and gone over all the paperwork and there was a lot of it. Every therapist who sat with him for 10-20 minutes had a report of about 10-18 pages long. I had made notes in the margin and highlighted things that I wanted to address. Things that were incorrect, taken out of context or had changed since the interviews.

The group decided on speech therapy, occupational therapy and special instruction. I thought and still think that everything else is totally unnecessary and tell every new therapist that starts exactly that.

The meeting today was nothing like that first meeting. Because I am in their face and make myself available, say hello when I am in the building they know me, my daughter and my son by face and name. The meeting which included my two kids today (who were awesome by the way) went really well.

I think this post is long enough so I will stop here for now. Tomorrow I will write more about why the meeting was called today and the decision I have to make. Until then I wanted to leave this message for my son.

Baby Boy, everything I do is for you. I want you to always know how proud I am of you and how far you have come. I have recently watched some video of you from a year ago and I am floored with your advancements. You are incredibly smart, very interested in learning, love writing, recently your newest addiction is Xbox. You play for 1.5 - 2 hours as a reward for doing well in school. You beg to play it daily but the 3 school days are enough for now. I put you on a timer and you know when it rings your time is up and shut it off. The therapists and every professional in that meeting were extremely impressed with how intelligent you are. You are a little shy at times but occasionally you are very much the social butterfly wanting everyone to talk to you. You are a big help to me with your sister and I love how you play the big brother role for her. Helping her with her shoes, coat, turning on lights or setting up a game for her. You love reading books, pretend playing and reading along to tapes. Your sensitivity surprises me sometimes. You don't like me to be angry with you and cry when you feel I am mad.

I love you with every beat of my heart. You are my heart on legs and I can't wait to see what you do next.

Love Mommy