My Life Summerized

I wrote this post about my love for Facebook on June 20, 2008 and it posted originally on In The Blink Of An Eye.

Me circa 1981

My friend Bek had been asking me to join Facebook last year. Well no actually, there was a little pestering, “oh come on, join” but I so didn’t want to join another anything.

I am here to report that I am so glad I did. I found my friend Jerry who I was looking for for like 15 years and who has yet to contact me since the first two weeks, but I found a friend of mine last week that I had been searching for for about 33 years.

Romy and went to school in Brooklyn back in 1981. We saw each other again in 1985 or 1986 one time when I went to the city with her and another of our friends. That time I found her by calling her number which I found in the yellow pages. We didn’t have the internet then.

I don’t know why we always lose touch, but I think its sad. Hopefully this time we can maintain a better friendship.

I’ve searched out her name on MySpace, Google, Yahoo, and last week I searched her on Facebook. There were a few pages of Romy’s and just as I was about to throw in the towel, there was her face. It’s been quite a while so I didn’t want to assume anything, it’s been 33 years so how could her face be the same?

I sent a message and asked if she was the Romy who attended SJH School. Logging on the next morning, I didn’t have high hopes but there it was…a message saying “OMG, yes, it is me, yada, yada, yada.”

We have spoken through email 3 times and exchanged phone numbers. I hope to call her tonight when the kids are asleep so I will not be interrupted. After 30+ years we should be able to talk without me putting her on hold to get the kids a drink.

I look forward to our first conversation and hope she is available tonight.

The break down of my last email to her when she asked what I’ve been doing these last 100 years.
EMAIL

This is so crazy and I am so glad I found you too.

Wow. My life pales in comparison. You have been busy and really LIVING life. Good for you.
The last time we saw each other I was with my second “serious” boyfriend (how serious can you be at the ripe old age of 19?). After that, I dated quite a bit. I won’t even bore you with the number.
I had a very serious relationship from the age of 19-23. I moved from Brooklyn to Staten Island (after H.S. Graduation) back to Brooklyn (when I was sure that I had made a mistake about moving in with a crazy cousin after a year of living with him and his crazy life. Then to New Jersey before I was 20 to live with a guy I met at work who was 8 years older.

He had a kid and we got him every other weekend, I was too young to live the life of someone who didn’t know anyone and waited around for him to come back from work, his weekend acting jobs or whatever else. He loved it because he always knew where I was, either working or home waiting for him. Boring!!!

I finally met my best friend Teresa and he got to show his colors. He was very jealous that I had someone besides him and didn’t like that all of a sudden I made plans when he wasn’t home. As you know that wasn’t going to work. I think if we had met at a different time in my life I would probably have married him but I was too young and still hadn’t experience life.

After him I was a free agent which meant I was free to date away and date I did. I had guys calling around the clock and dates 3-5 nights a week with about 5 different guys. There was one time that I actually called my 2 girl (Teresa and Diane) roommates to listen to my answering machine because there were 12 different messages from 12 different guys. Not that I was dating 12 guys but I was bartending at a go go bar and met loads of guys.

Those days are long over…
I hung out a bunch of local New Jersey bands Xenon, Spread Eagle, and Sleepy Hollow and had a great time going to their shows and being the “with the band” so to speak.

After my Grandmother passed in 1991 I broke up with a year long, going nowhere relationship. Driving with my girl Teresa she noticed “my type guy” and followed him through 2 towns until he pulled over. He got out and I walked over asking about his bumper sticker (Really what do you say?)
He was 5 years younger and loads of fun. Really great guy. Totally in love with me.

Because he was so young I dated another guy who was very much the guy who needed saving. I tried to save him but ended up getting hurt and my 5 year younger “dude” was there (always there) to pick me up. I finally woke up and looked at him in a different way.

We got married in 1997 and had our first baby in 2003 then the second in 2005.

He started his own business in 2005.

I am a stay at home mom since 2003 when my job wouldn’t let me take 2 breaks during the day to pump for my son and go breastfeed him at lunch. I tried to tell them that smokers take numerous breaks a day and lunch so why couldn’t I do what I needed to feed my baby? They told me that I could do one or the other and if I wanted to make it work I would. It was a 9-5 job with an hour lunch but I was always there 8 a.m. – 7 p.m and working through lunch for the 5 years I worked there before my son. After him I was giving them 9-5 but they were spoiled and didn’t realize that I was about to chose my job over my son. I was stressed as I pumped and losing milk, I wasn’t about to not go and feed him at lunch so I gave my notice and left. It was a lawsuit waiting to happen and I totally could have taken them up on charges but they did me a favor. I didn’t want to leave my baby at daycare and if they hadn’t given me a hard time I would have both kids still in daycare and be hating every minute of being away from them.

I always have believed there is a reason for everything. My son needed speech therapy 4 times a week and I am not sure if he would have gotten what he needed if I wasn’t with him and every day.
My boy, 5 and and girl, 3 are awesome kids. I love every bit of them. They are my heart on legs. We are together all day and I debated home schooling but my son really needs to be with his peers right now. He is extremely smart but his speech delay created a social delay. He has been coming into his own over the past year, his speech is great and his socialization gets better every day.

For fun I take thousands of pictures of my kids every month and load them onto a website so that out of town family and friends can keep up with our lives if they so intend.

To keep my mind busy, I have two blogs that keep me feeling creative, thinking and help create a legacy for my kids so if (like my mom) that if I am ever taken from them early they will always know who I was which is something I have searched to know about my mom since I was 12.

Look What I Found Thursday - 3rd Edition

I would like to share with you "pearls of the Internet" on my radar for the week.

My girlfriend Bek, sent me this link, while there, I found Lauren's Bite. She is witty, funny and write about her Twilight/Edward/Rob obsession. I couldn't stop reading. You can also check out some awesome pictures of Rob as Edward. My favorite part of her blog is "pocket Edward."

Calling all Twilight Addicts!!!!

Wordless Wednesday

Come and join the wordless fun at Wordless Wednesday

Last Weekend Rocked!

Last weekend I headed out with my kids minus the husband to my girlfriend and her husband's version of Lalapalooza called Ozzapalooza.

These two go all out when they throw a party. The only thing missing was an outside bar. Come to think of it, I thought there was going to be one of those this year. Bek?

We get a hold the date thingy in the mail then the real package comes.

Included in the package


A concert looking ticket giving the date, time, location, admission price which of course states FREE (one of my favorite 4 letter words).

An RSVP card that asks you to call so that they can buy enough beer

Directions in case

VIP Card giving us access to all Ozzapalozza events like the VIP gazebo, etc. It says that we should present the card for Free Parking and Unlimited Use of the Bathroom.

A Water Alert Card - This is a child friendly party so the card tells us that the kids get use of her kids kiddie pool, water table, sprinkler so we are told to bring an extra set of clothes just in case.

The 08 Special Attraction List -

• 3 Flags Amusement Park which is her daughters swing set.
• The Cage which is her daughter's play room complete with totally cleaned the night before toys (because she is THAT kind of hostess.
• The BatCave which is her husband's pride and joy - A ridiculous, everyone should bow down and scream they are not worthy upon entering the doors. The room features a 8ft screen, with 4 of the most relaxing, reclining chairs you will ever see, surround sound, HD viewing, Xbox 360, PlayStation and a DVD collection to make Best Buy drool.

It was great to sit with Bek's Aunt and talk for an hour I totally stole her forever. She was awesome.

Her father-in-law Columbus (not his real name) was the best. I loved how he was with my kids.



There were kids from last year that must have grown at least 2 feet in 1 year. Everyone seemed so grown!

To top a wonderfully fun, relaxing day off I won the raffle which was a Godfather Gift basket (colander, pasta, sauce and The Godfather DVD) which totally rocked.


On top of all this Bek loaned me 3 more books. I read Stephanie Meyer's Twilight and loved it she when I returned that one she dropped the next 2 plus the final book of the series into my arms. It was like she was giving me a whole set of encyclopedias. I thought I was going to need help getting the 3 books to the car but thank God I have been working out and handled it like a champ.


It was a rockin good time. I can't wait to see what the theme is next year.
Unfortunately, I didn't take many pictures but I did get to help out a lot more than usual. How is this possible? Usually my husband is with me which means 2 sets of eyes on the kids and I can't but this time I could. Maybe it is just that the kids are getting older. Last year I was worried about my 2 year old falling or something. I guess! Ummm...I'll have to figure that one out.

Playing Catch-Up

Damn it has been so hectic lately. Time has totally gotten away from me. Kids still crazy.
Went out Saturday for my annual get-together with my girlfriends for a much needed chick only lunch. Once again, thank God for good friends.

Christmas shopping done and 95% wrapped.

Tree up and decorated with as many unbreakable ornaments as possible.

Still working on a project for my niece and hope to have it completed by Saturday.

Still talking potty training with the boy, he is totally against it. So I will be changing diapers until his wife takes over.

Finally sent in my holiday pictures of the kids. It took about 100 shots to get one where they were both looking at the camera at the same time. By the end of the photo session, one was in tears (Goddess), one was screaming for milk (PT), and my voice was hoarse from yelling their names.


Got picture with Santa taken..yippy. Second in line, waited about 15 minutes for late Santa. Got up to Santa, placed girl on his lap. Toddler decided he didn't want anything to do with Santa. I moved away, photographer runs up to Santa with a picture, they tell him that the printer is not working and they will fix it in 15 minutes. Santa still holding my girl, talks sweetly to my son and daughter for roughly 20 minutes. The camera people say they almost have it fixed. Santa talks to the kids some more and finally coaxes my son into his lap. The photographer says ready, I moved away and the rest as they say folks is history. The first picture of my son on Santa in 2 years. Ok, my kids are not smiling in the picture, they actually look like deer in a headlight, but the point is this..a picture was taken of my two kids sitting on a smiling, rotund gentleman who goes by the name of Santa. Finally!

Reported someone for inappropriate behavior online. Those of you who know me; know that this piece of Shit had to be really bad for me to report them to the proper authorities, but I did and I would do it again.

Became a Nielsen Family. Big brother records what I watch on TV and listen to on the radio. Not so hard. I just wear a little device around my neck all day then plug it into it's charger at night. Easy as pie!

Damn Kid!!!

So Thursday was the Precocious Toddler's first day of preschool. I exhibited the basic maternal symptoms of nausea, a stress headache and the proverbial broken heart that my baby boy was so grown. My little guy was beginning a long, long road in his life and this meant something to me. I took the casual picture with his dad who would not be able to go to school with us, something about a job or money or something. PT did not want to stand for a picture so my husband got behind and as I called "PT" the husband smiled and well you get the idea.

On the way to school you would think that I was starting school I had such butterflies. We walked into the school. An aid asked him his name as we entered the school's main doors but he just screamed "noooooo" at her. My first thought, "Oh this should be a great experience, Not"!!!!


















There were kids crying "I don't want to go" and some stressed out sweaty parents consoling but my son passed them all and walked right into his classroom. He started playing with some puzzles and saying "hi" to any kid who walked over. My plan was to walk around with Goddess and then slowly back out of the room. PT kept calling "Mommy" as he played. I guess he just wanted to make sure I was still there. As he was putting the puzzle back together a little boy sat down across from him. PT asks, "Chris what's wrong? What happened?" I think, "Oh my poor little guy. He knows so many Christopher's that he is calling all little boys Chris." I turn to the kid, and tell PT that not all kids are named Chris." I ask the little boy his name and God damn it, it was Christopher. So proud, my little guys picked that up by listening to conversations around him. I never give him enough credit.

I slowly got closer to the door, open it and slip out. As I walk to my car in the thickest fog I can remember being in I have no idea what to do with myself. I put Goddess in and head out with no direction. I end up in a friend's driveway, call her, she throws down the lifesaver, and I climb out of my deep, dark abyss. I know, I know..but I just left my baby boy with a room full of strangers, didn't say good-bye and drove away. I have Mommy Guilt people! Sue me.

I watch the clock ticking by defiantly slow. Then after much talking, water, cake and a shoulder to take my mind off of things I see that it is finally time for me to go pick up my sweet, loving, big brown eyed, affectionate, God I miss him so much, baby boy.

I walk into the school and hear screaming. Could it be? Could it be mine? Why didn't they call me? How long has he been screaming? As I approach the door, the teacher give the thumbs up and walks over. "Nope not yours. He was great, Smiled the whole time." I ask, "Did he ask for me"? "No, sorry she tells me." Honestly I am thankful that he didn't but I did feel a little tug on my heart.

I head outside to wait with other parents. I am ready for the door to fly open and for the sworm of kiddies to rush out screaming for their moms, dads, or what-have-you. I poise the video camera, holding the Goddess in my arms await for my little boy to come out and hug my legs as we tell each other how much we loved and missed each other.

The door flies open, PT is the second kid out. Amidst the screams of "Mommy", "Daddy" is my own voice "Baby Boy, Baby Boy!" True, I have it on video. I sound like a complete and utter idiot. After the initial "Mommy" as he flew out the door he shot past me, stopped to look at all the kids and parents hugging shrugged as if to say, "what is this lovefest for" and ran to play on the lawn. What the F Man???!!!

So when does my little boy cry? When I ask for a friggin hug!!! Threw himself on the ground and pretended to cry. Some well meaning person wanders over, asks if he is OK and I tell her, "Yeah, he's fine."

As I talk him into leaving I start walking and see his father (complete surprise, but a good one), I say, "Look, it's Daddy." My son flies down the sidewalk, throws up his arms, my husband swings him up, they hug and walk towards me. Damn Kid! In my mind that is what I had expected to happen for me. I mean I am happy that my husband got it and it warmed my heart but what the F man??

We shall see what happens next week, but his first day...rocked!

A FRIEND IN NEED IS A FRIEND INDEED!! An abstract post!

Life is strange!

What do you do when your friend is going through something that hurts you to the core as well? How do you support them enough when you feel the hurt, pain, betrayal as if it was happening to you? I have cried with her over the last few weeks as she faces uncertainty. I constantly hope I find the words to help her though her dark days and seek the humor on her lighter days.

She is a dear friend one of the best people I know; when she was in labor I ended up with severe labor pains even though I would not be pregnant for another 5 years!

I pray for her strength and for her children's well being! I love ya T! You are strong, smart, beautiful and funny. Hold onto your integrity, know you have the strength, take the time to smile, laugh, and dance with your babies!

My Very Own Pa Ingalls

Last night about 10:45 pm we lost power due to the tremendous wind that whipped through starting at about 4:00 pm. It was inevitable! We were expecting it. We were ready! Battery lanterns, glow sticks, all four of us in one bed for body heat. Why we didn't start the wood stove last night is beyond me. I think we were a little busy doing things grown-ups do when kids are asleep. This morning we woke up to the house being 50 degrees, tons of beer and food in the fridge (Bek and Ohio were coming over today).

I dressed both kids warmly and my hubby started the wood stove. I entertained the troops while my hub put the beer and food in boxes on the deck to keep cold, brewed a pot of coffee by boiling water on the wood stove and pouring it into the coffee filled filter, warmed some milk for the Precious Toddler, and fried up some bacon in a pan on the wood stove. He came up and put a DVD into the laptop for the boy then plowed some snow. After the power came back on he made us a big brunch.

He is now catching some much deserved ZZ's on the couch while watching a football game.

What can I say? He's a good man!!!

Update on My Personal Earth Angel

In September I wrote of a friend who needed a liver. I am happy to report that she is doing well and did indeed get the liver she needed to live! God rest the soul of her doner .

I have been getting drive by updates from her husband (whenever I drove by their home I would ask how she was doing). He was always optimistic and said he would tell her that I was thinking about her.

Last night I went by her home to drop off a basket I put together for her recovery. Nice warm flannel pj's, lavender linen spray for her pillow, lavender candle, lavender lotion, a journal, and a quick, witty, light, unemotional paperback. I was going to hand off the basket to her hubby and get back to my kids. I knocked on her door and guess who answered...She did! Holy S-H-I-T. I could not believe my eyes or my ears as she invited me in. I thought she would be lying in bed, sleeping, relaxing, or whatever and here she was hugging me.

We sat at her table as she described the last few months of her exhausting life. We discussed our last meeting and I told her that I could not believe that I was sitting here talking to her. I never thought I was going to see her again. She said that right after our tea time everything snow balled. She mentioned how close to death she had been, how much pain, how tired she was and how she had accepted that she was going to die. She was ready and asked the doctors to stop working on her. She didn't want to take a liver if it meant that someone else would better benefit from it (that's her, always caring about others). The doctors told her that, "earth would be a better place with her in it and that he was going to do what he could to make that happen."

I told her that if this doesn't tell her how much she should be here nothing would. Her job on earth is not done and I am excited to see what God has in store for her. I told her that no one gets three chances at life. She said that it was funny that I said that because on her birthday her family sang Happy Birthday to her three times. Once for her first life before a liver transplant and one for each rebirth.

I couldn't hug her enough. I was afraid I would hurt her because she is frail and her scar is still healing but when she hugged I hugged with gusto. She is stunning even with her scar and her loss of muscle from bed rest.

Debbie, you will always be my walking, talking earth Angel. You are truly special and blessed. Someone up there loves you deeply and we down here love you too. Your inner strength is amazing and your inner light shines so bright that I need shades. I am a better person for just knowing you. I wish for your new life to be filled with peace, love, happiness, and joy. God bless you and he blessed me by keeping you here! I love you.

Angel Image by www.creationsbydawn.net

5 Things I am grateful for today

1. My husband bringing home a piece of chocolate cake after hearing how stressed I was.
2. Bek calling in from the road to talk about her day.
3. A new local drive through breakfast place. It is so hard to take two babies out of the car just to get a cup of coffee or a breakfast roll.
4. Another beautiful day; crisp and bright.
5. My son's little kisses on my head while I try to get in a few minutes of stomach exercises.

9-11 Remembrance

I cannot believe that tomorrow will be the 4th anniversary of 9-11. The horror of that day will never leave me. I can still remember images and words that were spoken that day as if it was yesterday. I see it all including myself as if it is a movie playing in my head.

I got into work early as usual and as I was sitting at my desk, co-worker Gregg was hanging up the phone, he said aloud to no one in particular, "Jenita just called and says something has hit the World Trade Center." I pulled up one of the local news links on my computer and was watching the footage of what was happening. The North Tower had a huge black cloud of smoke spilling from it, my boss came up behind me to talk about work and I told her what I was looking at. As we watched in horror more people were starting to arrive and before I knew it there were about 8 people standing behind me watching my computer. As we were watching and discussing we the South Tower was hit. I remember turning to my boss and we exchanged a wide eyed gaze. It was quickly obvious that this was not an accident which is something we had been thinking after the first plane hit. The office chatter was feverish and panicked.

I remember listening to a radio with a group of co-workers when we heard that the Pentagon was struck. I happened to look around the room I was standing in and noticed the fear and look of helplessness on various faces. There were some people hugging, some crying quietly, some trying to reach family members on the phone, some sitting on the floor holding their heads and trying to comprehend what was happening.

I called my husband to find out where he was and he told me that he was heading to his parents. He also said, "this is Osama." I had no idea what he was talking about and was just glad to hear that he was safe. I was with Bernadette and her son AJ when the South Tower fell. We were huddled together at her work station. Her arms around her son, mine around her and her son's around both of us. She kept saying, "oh my God, all those people." We cried together as AJ asked each of us if we were ok. I will never forget Bernadette or AJ. We clung to each other when our world was changing. The world we knew was no longer. Fear and panic was clutching my heart and I just wanted to be home with Joe and safe.

I was asked to sit at the switchboard for a moment as the higher ups tried to figure out what to do about the situation. My boss walked by as I was drying my tears. She asked me if I knew anyone in the towers. I told her "lots, and lots of strangers." She said, "oh my God you are right." We hugged.

Our President called a meeting telling us that we were closing our doors so that everyone could go home to be with their families. She said that if anyone felt they were unable to get home safely to tell someone and arrangements would be made.

My buddy Bek, offered to follow me home. I told her that she would be going out of her way but she said she wanted to make sure I got home safe. I will never forget her kindness and unselfish gesture. At a time when I felt that the world as I knew it was falling apart and would never be the same what I did notice that day was that there are people in this life that you can truly count on. People really do care about people. We get caught up in our own lives sometimes but in times of need and when it really matters we can turn to our fellow man.

I am still disturbed, angry, and sad when I watch a 9-11 documentary on television or when I read an article, see a picture or even think about that day. I thank God that I did not personally know someone who perished that day. The amount of grief I have for strangers on that day is hard enough. September 11th will for me, always be a day that America was attacked but it will also be a day that I saw true patriotism as Americans come together as a nation under God or whomever you wish to pray to that is up to you.

A True Friend

A true friend is someone who calls from their mini vacation because I had to talk even through I said, call when you get home. Thanks Bek!!!

One Carmel Apple Martini plus a Glass of White Wine

I'm not usually someone who drinks but today when Bekkah come over with the makings of a much discussed Carmel Apple Martini I was ready to drink and drink some more.

Bekkah, created the mouth friendly masterpiece complete with crushed graham cracker rim and fancy martini glasses that she had to bring from home because I lack the necessary drinkage vessel. I worked on lunch (salad and grilled chicken). Dessert was home made blueberry, oatmeal coffee cake and green tea ice cream. Yum!

After Bekkah left I decided to continue celebrating her birthday early by having a glass of wine with some strawberries and then an Amstel Light. All of this alcohol and lightheadedness means I have to pump and dump.

I am nursing my baby girl and obviously wouldn't fill her bottle with this liqueur so why nurse her after consuming more alcohol than I usually do in 6 months? Anyone who has ever nursed knows how hard it is to pump and dump. I am not sure why but even throwing out uneaten breast milk is enough to piss me off for about 5 minutes. I know I am not alone because I have discussed this with other nursing women and I can't figure it out. My body will create more milk. It's not like I purchased it and now I am wasting it. Why the hell are we so upset about throwing out our breast milk? Oh well, I guess I should get started.

Time to hook myself up to the pump get 6 ounces and pour it down the sink. Shed a tear, kick the door and vow to not drink again until tomorrow when I get I mean HAVE to finish the remainder of the drink that my dear friend Bekkah left for in the fridge. Moo!