Thursday, July 18, 2019

My Life In Pictures - July 8 - July 14

July 8 This was me for many years. I allowed people to treat me poorly. After years of loss, abuse and abandonment I felt unworthy of a better life, a voice or respect for myself. I was conditioned by my past to not expect more. After years of crying alone, beating myself up and feeling unworthy of more something happened to make me really look at myself. To see who I was and to see how far I had come; ALONE! Hell I was a bad ass and it was time to change. I picked my head up realizing it was me who held me back. Me who allowed poor treatment and Me who could change it. I no longer sit back doing things I don’t want to or listening to others blast negativity without saying something to defend myself or others. I am all cried out. Tears that so easily would run down my face no longer exist. Maybe one day I will find a balance where I can be a sensitive bad ass who cries and snarls but for now I will settle for bad ass. If mascara ever runs down my face it will be because of the rain! 

July 9 - A friend and I took our daughter's to the park. While her friend felt awkward and weird because of her height my daughter waved to me from one of the slides. I pray she never tires of the park like her mama.

July 10 - My son loves jumping off this cliff into the pool below. I would never because I am certain my spleen would end up in my throat. He spins like a cat each time which I find hysterical.

July 11 - Finally getting together with a friend without the kids and had an hour to kill so I drove around, stopped and took photos along the way. It was a glorious day and she is such a special person that it was a great start to the day.

July 12 - Okay...ever since I started trying to coupon I can't stop shopping. Is this normal? I mean it is not like I go out every day or every week because it takes time and money. What I have learned though is that it is best to shop for certain things when you don't really need them. See a good price, pick it up especially if it is something you will use.

July 13 - The colorful deck garden! is my happy place.

July 14 - Sage was stargazing or maybe looking at a bug but how cute. She was staring out the window without moving for about 10 minutes and I just had to grab a shot of her.

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