Wednesday, August 08, 2012

My 1st Lesbian Experience

Ok..well it wasn't my first, but the first was like over 26 years ago when a girlfriend on my street told me she was gay as I was sitting on her couch watching General Hospital. She told me and then spent the rest of the show watching me. I felt her staring at me and casually left after GH assuring her that nothing would change. I never went back there again and avoided her as much as possible when you live on the same street.

This experience was a little different. I was not sitting on a couch, I was not 14 and my kids and a friend were with me.

Walking through the mall the other day I was dodging vendors left and right until I came upon a women resembling Salma Hayek. She was holding one of these little beauties in her hand

The Squiggler

I always wanted to try one so I shouted over the crowd. How much? She walked over with her long, flowing hair, bohemian skirt and Salma accent; grabbed my wrist, placed the Squiggler on my head and said, "hold on sweetie, I am a women and I am wonderful to be with are you ready to go there?" Well...I am as hetero as the next person but if I let her keep that damn squiggler on my head a second longer I would have needed a moment. I took it off my head and asked her how much. She said $25.00 but if you really, really want one I can give it to you for $19.00. I haven't a pot to piss in. We get groceries from the friggin food pantry, my kids are angels on the friggin post office Christmas tree for 2 years in a row now and I bought one. This chick could sell a pair of reading glasses to a blind guy.

My husband has asked me to tell him the story a few times now.


  1. Hee hee - I have one of those things too. Now I wish I knew where it was.. I love that thing. It's just better when you have someone else to do it - which I didn't have until Tom. And of course now I can't find it!

    This was a very funny post!!

  2. LMAO!!! NIIIICE, you're such a MILF...even women can't stay away!!!

  3. OMG, I love this!! LMAO You go girl.

  4. Absolutely love this. Wondering how my wife would have reacted...

  5. OH MY, you had me at the post title!
    Where can I get a Squiggler???

    BTW, you are an awesome writer! I read this to Bill and he thought it was fantastic - and wanted me to read it to him again. =) Plus he loved the addition of the photos, as did I. (Swoon)


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