Never Saw It Coming!

Sometimes life is complicated, scary, confusing and heartbreaking. Sometimes life takes twists and turns we never saw coming. Sometimes we need to regroup, pick ourselves up and really listen to what the heart needs. Sometimes we feel utterly alone even in a room full of people and sometimes, we need someone to hold us up.

Lately, I have been that person in need. The person who needs others to lift them. I am a strong person who is a master at hiding my "real" feelings. Expert at dusting things off my shoulder and a maven of putting on a happy face. However, of the last few months it has been harder and someone called me on it. Someone who means more to me than anyone else. Someone who has always been there.

The pain in my heart is unbearable at times. It is a pain I am familiar with a pain I told myself I would never allow myself to feel again but here it is.

Everyone goes through difficult times and I have had my share and while I know this to shall pass and whatever path is taken I WILL BE OK but it is a scary road one that I never saw myself traveling.

I took this butterfly picture last week. Two butterflies were flying around each other frantically than eventually in a beautiful synchronized dance. They circle, spin as if tied together by strings, circling and spinning all over the beach.   This one finally rested and caught its breath before dancing again. I feel like this butterfly right now. I am sitting, waiting, breathing, praying for a moment and will dance again when the time is right.


2 comments:

Robin Wilson said...

Where to start? My heart goes out to you and my prayers are with you. I don't know what the root of your pain is, but I do know that you have people, people like me, who do care about you. People you have never seen or talked to, yet have touched more than you know. More than just giveaways, sure they are great, but people who are a part of an "extended" family. So CHIN UP and SMILE! I CARE!

Misha Estrada said...

I know that feeling. I'm working through it myself. Hope things get better for you soon.

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