I Said NO! by Zack & Kimberly King

Helping kids set healthy boundaries for their private parts can be a daunting and awkward task for parents, counselors and educators. Written from a kid s point of view, I Said No! makes this task a lot easier.

To help Zack cope with a real-life experience he had with a friend, he and his mom wrote a book to help prepare other kids to deal with a range of problematic situations. I Said No! uses kid-friendly language and illustrations to help parents and concerned adults give kids guidance they can understand, practice and use.

Using a simple, direct, decidedly non-icky approach that doesn't dumb down the issues involved, as well as an easy-to-use system to help kids rehearse and remember appropriate responses to help keep them safe, I Said No! covers a variety of topics, including:

• What is appropriate and with whom.
• How to deal with inappropriate behavior, bribes and threats.
• When and where to go for help, and what to do if the people you are turning to for help don't listen.
• Feelings of guilt and shame.

 

Perfect for teaching about inappropriate touching

Zack King came home from a sleepover one day with a problem. He’d had a not so good real life experience with a “friend”.

In order to help him understand and cope with his feelings, his mother Kimberley and Zack together talked with counselors, therapists and other parents and then wrote a book about what they learned.

In I Said No! they share what they learned about how kids can deal with the problems and challenging situations associated with inappropriate touching.

Helping kids set healthy boundaries for their private parts can be a daunting and awkward task for parents, teachers, and counselors.

Written from a kid’s point of view, I Said No! makes this task a lot easier.  I Said No! uses kid-friendly language, a simple mnemonic, and engaging illustrations by experienced child book illustrator Sue Rama to help parents and concerned adults give kids guidance they can understand, practice and use.  The book covers the most important issues in a straightforward and easy to understand manner. Here are some sample pages from the book:

 I Said No! helps kids learn what are private body parts, as well as the difference between good touching and bad touching, and people they can trust and people 

The 411:
As a child of molestation by a family member, this is something I am very passionate about. I never want any other child to suffer like I did. The shame, confusion and guilt I felt as a child and now anger I feel as an adult toward this, is something I pray my children never ever feel.

My children are 6 and 8 years old and while we always said things like, "your privates are private" and "no one should see or touch your privates" we never went further and I trust no one so they are never alone with anyone but I knew that as they get more involved with school and extra curricular activities this should be discussed. Over the summer when we had some peers out, there was a child who asked my son to "sign" his butt. My kids thought it was funny. I did not! It made me feel nauseous and worried.   It was then that we upped the conversations a little pulling in my son's den leader to give a lecture to the boys about inappropriate touching.

I Said, No by Zack and Kimberly King helped me talk more about this with my children in a non scary way.  The book discusses the a green and red flag system. Green flags are your caregivers like your parents and and doctors who sometimes will see your privates. "Your doctor will examine your privates only if mom or dad are in the room, to make sure all parts of your body are healthy.  When you are younger, your parents or caregivers will clean your bottom and bath you because you are too young to do this yourself. These are green flag people.

Your red flag people are the ones who make you feel:
upset
uncomfortable
lonely
sad
yucky
etc.

The book than goes on to explain various ways you would want to throw up a red flag.

bribing
touching
threatening
etc.

This is a great system and a great way to begin the process of explaining to young children one of the dangers they may encounter in their lives. Sexual predators aren't always mean, old, ugly, strangers. Sometimes they are nice, neighborly, friendly or even family.

I highly recommend this book for any one with children.

Depending on your child, their age and comprehension this is a great start. Was able to ask open ended questions to my children and give them information that we will go over again and again. My 6 year old was a little bored with some of the repetitiveness but I believe this to be a great starting place for parents to broach the subject of sexual predators without being too scary.

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Disclosure: I received a complimentary copy of this book for the purpose of this review. All opinions are my own.