Tuesday, January 06, 2015

Hoping For A Stellar 2015 Because My 2014 Was Shit!

Yeah it was. I hate to say it because I am a true believer in life is what you make it and I always try to remain positive and focus on what is positive because if you choose to only see the negative that is what you will find.

However, that being said, sometimes outside sources in our lives create a ripple that has lasting effects and no matter what you do you need to get through them. Sometimes you can do it quickly and sometimes it never happens but hopefully if you stay strong you find out just how strong you are.

I am S-T-R-O-N-G with ALL capital letters.

2014 started with loads of tears, fears, uncertainties, and I temporarily lost my footing. My core was shaken. I was in my weakest state physically and emotionally. It took a lot of  hibernation of my soul, self therapy, friend and family therapy, two visits to an actual therapist, prayer, and purging all of my thoughts and feelings onto paper where they will stay forever until I feel I don't need to re-read them ever again but I am fine! I am better than fine. I am me and I am good enough! I am strong enough! I am smart enough! I am woman! Yes baby, hear me roar. This chick is fine. There was a moment that I wasn't sure I would be able to pick my head up but my whole life I have survived far worse turmoil which prepared me for losing my balance on the path of life. I am standing. I am walking. The path is still uncertain but I am no longer afraid.

So to close out 2014 with a visit to the ER after two days of severe pain in my shoulder and eventually weakness in my forearm in fingers and an acute case of bursitis I am pleading with the universe to play nice. Let me walk without a tumble to my knees. I don't feel like Tebowing this year.  AND honestly, enough with the medical issues! Please!

My view from the bed in the ER. At least it was a beautiful curtain!

Cast and prescriptions for pain killers and steroids I left the ER praying for a break!