Hmmm...OK...I figured this was going to be good the only thing was the hours. I need to be able to drop off my kids and pick them up once school starts. I also needed to bring them with me on my interview. These are all things I would never have discussed in my professional life before kids or their need to be flexible with me in my 20s and 30s. They approved the kids coming to the interview. Woot! POSITIVE!
I told Handsome and Goddess that I needed them to be on board. I needed them to sit quietly, to not fight and to prove to the world I was a good mom capable of handling daycare age kids as well as my own. I told them why would someone want to hire me to handle a classroom if I couldn't handle my TWO?! They seemed on board. POSITIVE!
It's the summer and like all other siblings who spend every day together they are done with each other.
The interview went well. The Director I met with seemed very nice, like someone I would be friends with if we were not meeting in an interview. POSITIVE!
When a parent came in to talk to the Director in private, I left the room to the waiting area where my kids were. They were quietly looking at a book TOGETHER! POSITIVE!
After the parent left, I headed back in and the Director started talking about schedules, and when I start next Tuesday so I looked at her and asked, "so you are saying I got the job?" She said, "yes and I shook her hand and thanked her. When she left to get the stack of paperwork I walked over to the kids and said, "I got the job." They each stood up and hugged me and kissed me individually then as a group. They both told me they were so proud of me and how excited they were for me. It was so beautiful and sweet.
In that moment I realized again what I already knew; as a parent I am a good one. This is what I was supposed to do. This is what healed me from the traumas of my childhood.
I included the kids in my life, shared just enough with them to understand the importance of making money that will help our family while finding something I enjoy doing. They definitely have learned that in "real life" you don't always get what you want. You try but sometimes life doesn't always pat you on the back and say good job. That in real life you may walk away without a trophy. You don't always win. So as a parent I am doing a good job. They get it and their very grown up support of me taught me that they are not always in the moment just going with the flow as it appears sometimes. They do listen when I talk and my kids have become what I longed for as a child. Someone to take notice, be there when the door opens, be my safe place, my sounding board, my support system. Really listen to what I have to say. Allow me to be myself and love me even with all my flaws. Which is exactly what I give them. Proud parent.