Tuesday, April 23, 2024

Forever Young But Will Continue To Wear My Sensible Shoes

Tonight while talking to my best friend we discussed how old has felt for us. She asked if I ever feel younger until I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I told her that I know exactly what she means in a sense because I see an older person in the mirror but mostly when I see a photo someone took of me. 

I feel we are still young in our minds because We are not an age, we are a person. Still Maria! Still Teresa! The age part isn’t who we are! So it makes sense to feel young. I think if you feel young, that is really all that matters. Our age isn’t what defines us. It is literally a number and while I understand her feeling sad when she sees herself in comparison to how she feels I see it completely different. Yes, there are more wrinkles on my face than I would like, yes the grays show up sooner than I would like. Coloring every two and a half weeks is too much but my mother never had the opportunity to get old. She passed at 34. She was so young and I am sure she would have loved the opportunity to “get old”. Now I am not saying we are old at 57 and 54 but we are older and it shows on our skin and hair. 

She brought up how when we were younger we easily got attention from men but now she is the “older woman” that her sister was with at the bar. She talked about how we spent the summers at the Jersey Shore turning heads. Yes! It is true, believe it or not. We turned heads. It was fun at the time and while I can walk through Shoprite or the mall and not turn a head with my very basic yoga pants, sensible shoes and cross body bag. I no longer wear heels, or cleavage shirts. I don’t need the attention of men to know I am special just the way I am. 

I would love to have less wrinkles, feel more energized and be thinner but I cannot see myself ever using anything to make me younger. I am okay being me. Older, wiser and sensible. Growing old for me is a luxury my mom was never offered. She passed at 34 still a child to my now 57 year old self. 

Don’t feel bad about growing older, be grateful that you are because many don’t get that opportunity. 

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