Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Holiday Book Idea For Girls

Have you ever read a book that you just wanted to shout about from the roof top? Well, this is the one.

Secrets Girls Keep, What Girls Hide (and why) and How to Break the Stress of Silence by Carrie Silver Stock is a book every girl over the age of 12 should have. Side note: depending on the girl, maybe even younger.

I wish this book was around when I was a child. From page 1, I felt this book spoke to even the 43 year old me.

We all know how hard it is to be a teenager. Come on, I'm 43 and I remember. It wasn't that long ago. Whether you felt awkward, silly, ugly, numb, or whatever your inner feelings were you put on a happy face or you withdrew. This book validates you! Gives you the permission to be who you are!

Chock full of advice from dating, to making friends, handling family drama, cyber space, emotions, lack of confidence and more, this is a book that you should consider for every young girl in your life.

Parents of girls 11 and up, I think this could very well become your bible.

Carrie Silver-Stock is a social worker who founded girlswithdreams.com.What I admire about her is that she saw the problem and came up with a necessary, teenage friendly, hip way to talk to girls(from girlswithdreams.com) Carrie wants to start a movement and revolution for girls to not only stop putting each other down, but to design a safe place they can get new ideas and support for some of their toughest problems.  The mission is simple: to create a place founded on friends, dreams, and action where girls will empower one another to build their best lives.  Girls will learn how to be leaders and take action in their own lives and in the world. 

Isn't it true? Girls putting down girls or worse beating each other up. We've seen it on the news. It's happening. Girls are girls worst enemies and there is absolutely no reason for it. Jealousy, cattiness, immaturity, whatever it is that makes girls want to compete rather than collabrate needs to stop and this is a great way to get your girls on the right track early. 

Q and A with Carrie
Sample Media Questions for Carrie Silver-Stock , author of
Secrets Girls Keep: What Girls Hide (&; Why) and How to Break the Stress of Silence

1.      What inspired you to write Secrets Girls Keep?
I wrote Secrets Girls Keep because after working with young people for over 15 years I continued to see girls struggle, much of the same way that I did as a teen girl.  I didn’t feel this was right and I wanted to do something to help teen girls deal with their biggest challenges, from issues with self esteem, to dating, friends, family, etc...  I felt it was really important that we let girls know they aren’t alone and give them an avenue to speak to each other and make sure their voices were heard. 
2.      What secrets are girls keeping?
Girls keep many secrets, from the superficial to very dangerous.  I’m more concerned with the secrets girls keep that potentially put them in harms way.  These are secrets about their  sexuality, teen pregnancy, depression, eating disorders, drug/alcohol use, cutting, and more.   
3.      What is the cult of secrecy and why are girls hiding?
Secrets are a part of our society and even part of growing up between girls.  It’s so often the secrets that cement friendships between girls.  However, there are some secrets that even friends stop sharing.  Girls hide for many reasons.  It might be because they are scared of being less than perfect, they are embarrassed, they are worried about getting in trouble, or they think they are the only ones feeling a certain way.
4.      What do teen girls need in their lives to keep from hiding and feel secure?
If teen girls are going to stop hiding and feel more secure, girls need to know they are not alone.  They also need places they can feel secure (ideally at home, school, and with their friends). We need to start sharing our secrets and stories about what we’ve dealt with and how we’ve overcome it.  Girls need to know it’s okay to make mistakes.  We need to work against ending the fierce negative competition that exists between girls and work towards respect.
5.      How can girls start to break the stress of silence?
Girls can start to break the stress of silence one step at a time.  If they are too scared to talk to anyone about something they are dealing with then they might start by reading stories of other girls.  But, it’s important they look for a trusted adult or friend they can open up too.  If this is still too scary, they might build on that trusted relationship by talking about things that aren’t as scary.
6.      How can parents help their girls do this?
Parents can help girls break the stress of silence in many ways.
-Parents can listen to their daughters, both by what they are saying, and by watching their actions.  It’s important to keep communication lines open as best as possible.  This is a challenge because starting in middle school parents might feel a shift where friends seem to be more important than parents.
-Let your daughter know it’s okay not be perfect.  Our society encourages girls to be ‘good girls’ from an early age.  Of course we want our children to succeed and do well, but I believe we put too much emphasis on being perfect and sometimes this creates too much pressure.  If girls know it’s okay to goof up, they might be more willing to talk about their mistakes.    
-Watch for signs of change in your daughter.  This could be a change in friends, sleeping habits, or eating habits.  If there is something different, this can be a clue you need to pay more attention.  If you think your daughter is having a problem and she denies it, but your gut is still telling you differently, don’t ignore that feeling.  Watch her closely.  She might be too scared to tell you everything that is going on.  
-If you find out your daughter is having a serious challenge, don’t feel like you both have to handle this on your own.  Don’t be afraid to get professional help.

This book is something Mothers and Daughters SHOULD read together. What a great idea for a reading group.

I have ordered 4 copies for some of the girls on my shoppping list this year.

If you order now, there is a fantastic special offer included. Go here to place your order and receive.

Here’s What You’ll Get When you Buy the Book

  • FREE downloadable 11 page Discussion Guide and Companion to Secrets Girls Keep
  • FREE downloadable 8×10 Girls With Dreams Manifesto Poster
  • FREE 20% off Coupon towards purchase at Artistic Sensations.com (A Teen Boutique)
  • FREE Teen Room Makeover Tips by Kim Gellman at Artistic Sensations
  • FREE Parenting Tips by Dr. Tim Jordan, M.D. and Coupon towards Camp Weloki
  • FREE Ebook How to Communicate with Teens and Tweens 101 by Vanessa Van Petten

There is no time like the present to help your girls be the best they can be. Head over to Girls with Dreams and see why I believe this to be the new parents of girls bible. Secrets Girls Keep by Carrie Silver-Stock should be on every girls book shelf.


  1. Sounds like a must-read book: I have a daughter, although thankfully she's too young to be caught up in "girl drama" right now. It's not just girls though: I've seen many catty grown women in the workplaces I've been, fighting and dragging each other down instead of bolstering one another up. Sheesh--craziness and drama.

  2. Boy, I wish this was around when I was a teenager, I didn't have anyone to talk to and my parents were absolutely NO help.
    I can also think of several WOMEN in the bloggy world that can use the principles described in here to STOP being such bitchy women and grow up and behave!
    Thanks again for another fabulous review.


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