Saturday, April 07, 2007

Tribute and Easter Post

Tonight as I do on every April 7th since 1978 I think about my mom. She will be dead 29 years this year, that seems so ridiculous. It is a life time ago and yesterday.

I was 12 when she passed away from Cancer. It is amazing how the lose of such an integral part of your core makes life so complicated. There is not a day that goes by that I am not affected by the loss of my mother. There is not a day that goes by that I don’t wonder how my life would have turned out had she not died. There is not a day that goes by that I don’t wish that my children were able to feel her arms around them to see her joy in knowing and loving them.

There will never be a day that I don’t miss her with every single fiber in my soul.
As I sit here with tears streaming down my face wishing I could feel her, hear her, smell her, touch her once again I am so thankful for everything that is my life but I can’t help but wonder why. Why, she was taken from me. Why she had to suffer. Why I had to see so much. Why my babies will never know their grandmother.

Last year I wrote about my mom and my grandmother and how they share the same birth and death date. I believe that everything happens for a reason however I would love to know the reason. I have always felt that the reason for them to have the same dates was to prove to me and anyone who cared to believe that there was something bigger than all of us. Fate? Maybe. Coincidence? Maybe.

Last years post with more detail can be found here.

The love I feel for these two pivotal people in my life is still as strong as the last time we drew breath together.

I love and miss you Mommy and Grandma and I think and pray for you every night.

As for Easter….

Today, the kids and I colored eggs (sort of). They colored their hands, the tray that had the dye for the eggs and that is about it. The Hoff took pictures (Thanks Honey) which is really nice since I am usually the one with the camera so all my pictures with the kids are staged using my timer.

Tonight I put their Easter Baskets together and can’t wait for them to see them. I loved Easter when I was a kid. I hope that I can make their Easter as special as I felt it was.

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