A New Chapter Begins With A Lighter Heart #faithrenewed #reconciliation

I have prayed alone for 40 years of my life. Being raised Catholic whenever I needed to I turned to God! After having children I decided to let them decide what path they wanted to take. We baptized them both and when they were young. I prayed over them and when they could repeat after me we prayed nightly.  I have spent years going into church often but always off hours just wanting to sit in my own head with my prayers and my very personal relationship with Jesus. 

In January of this year I decided to learn to pray the rosary and to read the bible.  It has been interesting and makes me feel really good and close to God which I think is the best reason to pray. 

Two months ago I decided to start going to church by meeting up with a friend and her son every Sunday and praying as a community. Goddess has come with me 95% of the time. When I talked about how I sometimes feel guilty that I didn't force religion on her and her brother because life is hard and you may need to have faith and pray but won't know how she said something I will appreciate all the days of my life. "I like the way you did it. Maybe if you had forced it I wouldn't be as interested as I am. I believe there is a higher power and believe in God. I also like aspects of other religions and I am finding my own way."

This past Saturday I finally received confirmation because after reading 33 Days to Eucharistic Glory I really longed to receive the most holy sacrament of the eucharist and longed to be on the line of parishioners.

The priest at my church is fairly new to the priesthood being ordained in 2017. He is a blessing to our community and I adore him. As a child confession seemed so daunting. If you don't know, you walk into a booth and say "bless me father for I have sinned.  It's been ___ weeks since my last confession" and then go into your sins that you want forgiven.  As a child I didn't feel like I had sinned so mostly I just would say I fought with my sisters but what do you say to a priest when it has been 40+ years since your last confession? Also back in the day confession was done with a wall between you and the priest. This time I walked in and he is sitting there. The only thing between us is a table with a lamp and some books on it. 

We spoke about my return and since we have talked in the past I felt comfortable and could abbreviate the story. He was unbelievably helpful, forgiving, easy to speak with and then said something thought made me cry. He told me that since it has been 40+ years that he would do my penance. We prayed and then Acting in the person of Christ he told me  "God forgives you. There is nothing else you have to do. you can receive communion tomorrow". I thanked him and we prayed and spoke a moment longer before I said, "don't be surprised if I cry at communion tomorrow." He replied "don't be surprised if I do too."

I am so thankful and feel blessed. Receiving communion was amazing yesterday and I cannot wait to go again.  I know my priest will never see this but I am so grateful to him and his time and sacrifice. He is a wonderful person and every time I talk to him, I feel closer to the Lord!