Oh my God there is just so much going on. I am now waiting for my daughter to finish her 4th driving class after dropping my son off at his job. I do a lot of sitting in my car, which means I do a lot of reading, playing phone games, listening to podcasts and thinking. Right now I’m thinking about my blog which has been something that I get to once in a while and not as often as I like.
I’m not even sure that blogs are something that people read anymore and it doesn’t matter because really, I started this for me in the beginning. I would love it if people read it and if they get something out of it, but from the beginning I just was trying to create a story, a timeline that my kids can, if they choose to look at or read, get to know me after I’m gone.
This is all from losing my mom when I was only 12 and how I longed to really know her, to know who she was, to see what she thought about, what kind of woman she was. I just really NEEDED to know her. Since that could never happen, I decided my kids would never wonder who I was and started blogging.
As I wait for my daughter to finish her driving test, I am amazed at how fast time has gone. I still see her as a three-year-old, as a seven-year-old, as a 10-year-old, as a 15-year-old and now she’s 20 and man time has flown.
Spending time with my kids is truly my favorite thing to do. Driving my son to his job means I get to talk to him in the car. My daughter sometimes comes sometimes doesn’t depends on what we’re doing but just the fact that she wants to hang out with me still at 20 even if it’s just to drive him to work really makes my heart so happy.
June has flown by. It’s already June 22. I don’t feel like I’ve done anything exciting this year. I’ve just been working. Two jobs please pet sitting. I work at a Bus Garage as a one on one bus monitor and I’m still at a preschool that I worked out for 11 years part-time so I spent a lot of time working. I also spend a lot of time driving my kids around. My son to and from work. I live 1/2 hour away and then there’s the waiting for him to get relieved. My daughter, I drive to her driving class or we just head out on the weekend because I know that she just needs to get out of the house so we just drive. Sometimes it’s to a store, sometimes there’s no destination. I still feel like we have to be more mindful and find things to do to create memories instead of just part of our mundane already boring lives. She’s getting older and I wanna create memories that hold her long after I’m gone.
My husband’s been busy with the garden, which looks beautiful, but I wish he was someone who would prefer to do things not just at home but outside the house. He could go for a walk with us, to the movies or just come out with us when we leave the house. He is someone who is very sad in his way is and very self driven. It’s not a bad thing. It just means we don’t spend as much time with him as we wish we did.
Hopefully in July, I can see some friends that I haven’t seen in way too many years. Life is getting faster and my days are getting shorter. I’ll be 59 in August and I know how fast 59 came and I know I don’t have 59 more years so it’s time to make some mindful changes that hopefully just continue to brighten my life and make me happy.
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