After helping my daughter Roxy move into housing at USC last week, I did
not take the requisite selfie with her father holding an empty nest. We are
divorced, and I’ve been raising Roxy on my own for the last six years. She has been my focus, my friend and my travel
companion. And I’m being challenged to find a way forward without her.
Letting go is never easy. Whether it’s a job, a project, a client, a
child, or a spouse, we’re always struggling with some new fear or
vulnerability. All of us. It’s human. We all have fear. But, what would your life would look like if
you weren’t in fear? Here’s how I’m dealing with the fear of being alone,
letting go and moving on to what’s next.
Trust Your Intuition
Now is the time to tune-in to your inner voice
and access that second brain that knows exactly where your talents and passions
lie, and can lead you to your true purpose. Whether it’s humbling yourself, and
asking for a new job or position or finally leaving your post and amassing money
for a venture, going back to school or fearlessly trying out a new hobby (I’m
picking up the guitar and starting singing lessons), start to say “yes” to
every gut instinct and invitation. You’ll find that there’s a rich second life
inside you just waiting to get out, and get on with it.
Align Your Actions With Your Desires
I want you to imagine pushing through any
fears you’re having right now and pull out a note pad. Close your eyes and
write down what you desire in your personal life, what you desire in your
career, and what you desire in your community. Now list under each desire the
actions you’ll be taking to get there. Live by those actions and you’ll move
yourself closer to your dreams.
Find Champions Who Value You
If you’re needing to let go and move on (like
me), now’s the time to go deeper in your female relationships. I am so lucky that
almost all of my clients are women and they are among my closest friends and
confidants. We know everything about each other’s lives, the names of our
children, the trials and tribulations of our love lives, many have come to my
home in Santa Fe, and sometimes we travel together. To recognize women who have
your back and can be a champion for you, use your intuition. Gather them and
keep them close because these relationships, when they become collaborative, will
be the foundation of your business and the joy of your career. Whether you’re an
executive, professional, entrepreneur or consultant, your network of women are going
to see you through.
Share With God Went Well Today
Every night before bed, I talk with God and reflect on what’s going well… what I’m proud of and what I’m
grateful for. I could think about my endless to do list, but this simple practice
in gratitude helps me get on with the day and sleep well at night. If you only
take away one thing from what I’ve shared it’s this: having faith in yourself
and something bigger than you, will keep you out of fear. That’s because if you're
in fear you can't be in faith. If you're in faith you can't be in fear.
As I move
into this new role of empty nester, I try to imagine a table set in the future.
My daughter is there and the people that I love. Looking at it fearlessly,
there are so many new possibilities for my relationship with Roxy. And all I
have to do is let it unfold. I’ll do it by applying these no-fear strategies: trusting
my intuition, aligning my actions with my desires, finding champions that value
me, going deeper in my female relationships, and finally, sharing with God what
went well each day.
In this new phase in my life, I will let the fear be there, but I won’t get stuck there. I’ll keep the
focus on what matters and resist isolating or getting into obsessive thinking.
To live fearlessly, I will practice this process every day. Won’t you join me?
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About Robin Fisher Roffer: CEO of Big Fish Marketing and Fearless Career Coach
at TONE Networks, Robin Fisher Roffer is a sought-after brand strategist,
storyteller and author. She helps countless women fearlessly design their dream
careers. As a media brand specialist who works multiple Fortune 500 companies
she knows firsthand the importance of creating a personal mission, determining
core values and pursuing goals fearlessly. Learn more about Robin here. Watch Robin on TONE Network sharing her expert advice here.
Disclaimer: Shared with permission.
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