Dads’ Resource Center offers a look at why parents need to focus on peaceful co-parenting
STATE COLLEGE, Pennsylvania –
(October 31, 2022) – According to the
U.S. Census Bureau, the number of children living with two parents has dropped
since 1968, while the number of children living with their mother only has
doubled. Co-parenting from separate homes has become commonplace, which makes
it essential that we as a society get it right. Successfully co-parenting is
something that everyone should care about because the outcomes impact as a
whole.
“The
longer it takes for both parents to work with each other in a collegial manner,
the more the children will be negatively impacted by the separation,” said
Dads’ Resource Center Executive Director Jeffrey Steiner. “The more parents
focus on the negatives, any real or perceived micro aggressions, and indulge
the assumption of the worst intentions of the other parent, the more the
children are hurt.”
Many
co-parent people are unsure how to do it peacefully or why it's crucial to make
that a priority. Right from the start, they are in survival mode, making things
work from week to week, but not fully engaged in ensuring that it's going well.
Some co-parents make no effort to do their best to come together for the
children. Now is the best time to call a truce, set aside the grudges and
anger, and focus on being the best co-parents possible.
Here
are 5 reasons co-parents need to call a truce:
·
Give dad a role. When there is
co-parenting conflict, it often involves dads being given less time with the
kids. This can lead to negative consequences for the child, so when parents
call a truce can get more time with the kids. So dads can be more involved.
·
Better outcomes for the child. Research shows that when
dads are more involved in their children's lives, they tend to do better in
school, stay away from drugs more, and are better at staying out of trouble.
Having a dad be the child's life is an excellent way to help kids grow up and
be better adjusted.
·
To allow society to benefit. With the many positives
that come from kids spending more time with their fathers, it ends up helping
the community. They are less likely to get into trouble with the law and more
likely to grow up to have a better education and more employment opportunities.
·
Increase happiness. Most people want their
children to be happy in life. When co-parents fight, disagree, and have
difficulty getting along, the kids will often suffer. They may become
depressed, feel that they are the reason for all the stress, and experience
anxiety. Calling a truce is likely to bring more peace and happiness to
everyone and decrease stress.
·
Because it's not about them. When co-parents don't get
along, it's usually due to their feelings and animosity toward each other. It
typically doesn't have anything to do with the kids. The critical thing to
remember here is that co-parenting is not about adults. It's about the kids and
ensuring they get what they need to grow up and become healthy, well-adjusted
adults. Calling a truce means laying the grudges and attitudes aside and
putting the children and their well-being first.
“By
committing to finding a way to collaboratively co-parent, mom and dad can
become happier and more able to move forward in their own lives without being
burdened by a toxic relationship with the other parent,” said Steiner. “More
importantly, they can allow their children the benefit of a more tranquil and
healthier transition into a separate family.”
There are
some things that children in co-parenting situations often experience,
according to Dads’ Resource Center. These include being exposed to having
strangers make decisions in their lives (rather than their parents), they live
in a state of uncertainty, they tend to believe their parents fight because of
them, and they are constantly being put into situations that make them choose
between the two parents. These situations are detrimental to their well being.
By calling a truce, parents can help eliminate such situations.
Co-parents
can call a truce by having a discussion and agreeing to do so. If they don’t
want to do it alone, they could have a counselor there on hand to help them
through the discussion and process. Then they can move forward with the new
attitudes that will rule the way the rest of the co-parenting will go.
Dads'
Resource Center was started by Dr. Myers, a father of eight and the founder and
CEO of AccuWeather. Its mission is to help combat the issues associated with children
growing up without their fathers in the home. At its heart, the center is a
child advocacy organization that aims to ensure that each child has the
appropriate involvement and contributions from both parents. To get more
information, visit the site at: https://dadsrc.org.
About
Dads’ Resource Center
The Dads'
Resource Center is the leading advocate for single fathers. They believe that
father absence is a major factor in nearly every social issue our country
faces, and that all able and willing dads should be allowed to uphold their
sacred responsibility as fathers. The DRC provides education, resources and
advocacy for single fathers struggling to be in the lives of their children due
to the involvement of the family court, county and human services system. To
get more information, visit our website at: https://dadsrc.org.
# # #
Sources:
U.S.
Census Bureau. Percentage and
number of children living with two parents has dropped since 1968. https://www.census.gov/library/stories/2021/04/number-of-children-living-only-with-their-mothers-has-doubled-in-past-50-years.html#:~:text=In%201968%2C%2085%25%20of%20children,Current%20Population%20Survey%20(CPS).
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