Saturday, November 05, 2022

5 Reasons Co-Parents Need to Call a Truce (and How to Do it)

  Dads’ Resource Center offers a look at why parents need to focus on peaceful co-parenting

STATE COLLEGE, Pennsylvania – (October 31, 2022) – According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the number of children living with two parents has dropped since 1968, while the number of children living with their mother only has doubled. Co-parenting from separate homes has become commonplace, which makes it essential that we as a society get it right. Successfully co-parenting is something that everyone should care about because the outcomes impact as a whole. 

 

“The longer it takes for both parents to work with each other in a collegial manner, the more the children will be negatively impacted by the separation,” said Dads’ Resource Center Executive Director Jeffrey Steiner. “The more parents focus on the negatives, any real or perceived micro aggressions, and indulge the assumption of the worst intentions of the other parent, the more the children are hurt.”

 

Many co-parent people are unsure how to do it peacefully or why it's crucial to make that a priority. Right from the start, they are in survival mode, making things work from week to week, but not fully engaged in ensuring that it's going well. Some co-parents make no effort to do their best to come together for the children. Now is the best time to call a truce, set aside the grudges and anger, and focus on being the best co-parents possible.

Here are 5 reasons co-parents need to call a truce:

·        Give dad a role. When there is co-parenting conflict, it often involves dads being given less time with the kids. This can lead to negative consequences for the child, so when parents call a truce can get more time with the kids. So dads can be more involved.

·        Better outcomes for the child. Research shows that when dads are more involved in their children's lives, they tend to do better in school, stay away from drugs more, and are better at staying out of trouble. Having a dad be the child's life is an excellent way to help kids grow up and be better adjusted.

·        To allow society to benefit. With the many positives that come from kids spending more time with their fathers, it ends up helping the community. They are less likely to get into trouble with the law and more likely to grow up to have a better education and more employment opportunities.

·        Increase happiness. Most people want their children to be happy in life. When co-parents fight, disagree, and have difficulty getting along, the kids will often suffer. They may become depressed, feel that they are the reason for all the stress, and experience anxiety. Calling a truce is likely to bring more peace and happiness to everyone and decrease stress.

·        Because it's not about them. When co-parents don't get along, it's usually due to their feelings and animosity toward each other. It typically doesn't have anything to do with the kids. The critical thing to remember here is that co-parenting is not about adults. It's about the kids and ensuring they get what they need to grow up and become healthy, well-adjusted adults. Calling a truce means laying the grudges and attitudes aside and putting the children and their well-being first.

“By committing to finding a way to collaboratively co-parent, mom and dad can become happier and more able to move forward in their own lives without being burdened by a toxic relationship with the other parent,” said Steiner. “More importantly, they can allow their children the benefit of a more tranquil and healthier transition into a separate family.”

There are some things that children in co-parenting situations often experience, according to Dads’ Resource Center. These include being exposed to having strangers make decisions in their lives (rather than their parents), they live in a state of uncertainty, they tend to believe their parents fight because of them, and they are constantly being put into situations that make them choose between the two parents. These situations are detrimental to their well being. By calling a truce, parents can help eliminate such situations.

 

Co-parents can call a truce by having a discussion and agreeing to do so. If they don’t want to do it alone, they could have a counselor there on hand to help them through the discussion and process. Then they can move forward with the new attitudes that will rule the way the rest of the co-parenting will go.

 

Dads' Resource Center was started by Dr. Myers, a father of eight and the founder and CEO of AccuWeather. Its mission is to help combat the issues associated with children growing up without their fathers in the home. At its heart, the center is a child advocacy organization that aims to ensure that each child has the appropriate involvement and contributions from both parents. To get more information, visit the site at: https://dadsrc.org.

 

About Dads’ Resource Center

The Dads' Resource Center is the leading advocate for single fathers. They believe that father absence is a major factor in nearly every social issue our country faces, and that all able and willing dads should be allowed to uphold their sacred responsibility as fathers. The DRC provides education, resources and advocacy for single fathers struggling to be in the lives of their children due to the involvement of the family court, county and human services system. To get more information, visit our website at: https://dadsrc.org.

 

 

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Sources:

 

U.S. Census Bureau. Percentage and number of children living with two parents has dropped since 1968https://www.census.gov/library/stories/2021/04/number-of-children-living-only-with-their-mothers-has-doubled-in-past-50-years.html#:~:text=In%201968%2C%2085%25%20of%20children,Current%20Population%20Survey%20(CPS)

 

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