Facebook is Worth it

Me circa 1981

My friend Bek had been asking me to join Facebook last year. Well no actually, there was a little pestering, "oh come on, join" but I so didn't want to join another anything.

I am here to report that I am so glad I did. I found my friend Jerry who I was looking for for like 15 years and who has yet to contact me since the first two weeks, but I found a friend of mine last week that I had been searching for for about 33 years.

Romy and went to school in Brooklyn back in 1981. We saw each other again in 1985 or 1986 one time when I went to the city with her and another of our friends. That time I found her by calling her number which I found in the yellow pages. We didn't have the internet then.

I don't know why we always lose touch, but I think its sad. Hopefully this time we can maintain a better friendship.

I've searched out her name on MySpace, Google, Yahoo, and last week I searched her on Facebook. There were a few pages of Romy's and just as I was about to throw in the towel, there was her face. It's been quite a while so I didn't want to assume anything, it's been 33 years so how could her face be the same?

I sent a message and asked if she was the Romy who attended SJH School. Logging on the next morning, I didn't have high hopes but there it was...a message saying "OMG, yes, it is me, yada, yada, yada."

We have spoken through email 3 times and exchanged phone numbers. I hope to call her tonight when the kids are asleep so I will not be interrupted. After 30+ years we should be able to talk without me putting her on hold to get the kids a drink.

I look forward to our first conversation and hope she is available tonight.

The break down of my last email to her when she asked what I've been doing these last 100 years.

EMAIL
This is so crazy and I am so glad I found you too.

Wow. My life pales in comparison. You have been busy and really LIVING life. Good for you.

The last time we saw each other I was with my second “serious” boyfriend (how serious can you be at the ripe old age of 19?). After that, I dated quite a bit. I won’t even bore you with the number.

I had a very serious relationship from the age of 19-23. I moved from Brooklyn to Staten Island (after H.S. Graduation) back to Brooklyn (when I was sure that I had made a mistake about moving in with a crazy cousin after a year of living with him and his crazy life. Then to New Jersey before I was 20 to live with a guy I met at work who was 8 years older.

He had a kid and we got him every other weekend, I was too young to live the life of someone who didn’t know anyone and waited around for him to come back from work, his weekend acting jobs or whatever else. He loved it because he always knew where I was, either working or home waiting for him. Boring!!!

I finally met my best friend Teresa and he got to show his colors. He was very jealous that I had someone besides him and didn’t like that all of a sudden I made plans when he wasn’t home. As you know that wasn’t going to work. I think if we had met at a different time in my life I would probably have married him but I was too young and still hadn’t experience life.

After him I was a free agent which meant I was free to date away and date I did. I had guys calling around the clock and dates 3-5 nights a week with about 5 different guys. There was one time that I actually called my 2 girl (Teresa and Diane) roommates to listen to my answering machine because there were 12 different messages from 12 different guys. Not that I was dating 12 guys but I was bartending at a go go bar and met loads of guys.

Those days are long over…

I hung out a bunch of local New Jersey bands Xenon, Spread Eagle, and Sleepy Hollow and had a great time going to their shows and being the “with the band” so to speak.

After my Grandmother passed in 1991 I broke up with a year long, going nowhere relationship. Driving with my girl Teresa she noticed “my type guy” and followed him through 2 towns until he pulled over. He got out and I walked over asking about his bumper sticker (Really what do you say?)

He was 5 years younger and loads of fun. Really great guy. Totally in love with me.

Because he was so young I dated another guy who was very much the guy who needed saving. I tried to save him but ended up getting hurt and my 5 year younger “dude” was there (always there) to pick me up. I finally woke up and looked at him in a different way.

We got married in 1997 and had our first baby in 2003 then the second in 2005.

He started his own business in 2005.

I am a stay at home mom since 2003 when my job wouldn’t let me take 2 breaks during the day to pump for my son and go breastfeed him at lunch. I tried to tell them that smokers take numerous breaks a day and lunch so why couldn’t I do what I needed to feed my baby? They told me that I could do one or the other and if I wanted to make it work I would. It was a 9-5 job with an hour lunch but I was always there 8 a.m. – 7 p.m and working through lunch for the 5 years I worked there before my son. After him I was giving them 9-5 but they were spoiled and didn’t realize that I was about to chose my job over my son. I was stressed as I pumped and losing milk, I wasn’t about to not go and feed him at lunch so I gave my notice and left. It was a lawsuit waiting to happen and I totally could have taken them up on charges but they did me a favor. I didn’t want to leave my baby at daycare and if they hadn’t given me a hard time I would have both kids still in daycare and be hating every minute of being away from them.

I always have believed there is a reason for everything. My son needed speech therapy 4 times a week and I am not sure if he would have gotten what he needed if I wasn’t with him and every day.

My boy, 5 and and girl, 3 are awesome kids. I love every bit of them. They are my heart on legs. We are together all day and I debated home schooling but my son really needs to be with his peers right now. He is extremely smart but his speech delay created a social delay. He has been coming into his own over the past year, his speech is great and his socialization gets better every day.

For fun I take thousands of pictures of my kids every month and load them onto a website so that out of town family and friends can keep up with our lives if they so intend.

To keep my mind busy, I have two blogs that keep me feeling creative, thinking and help create a legacy for my kids so if (like my mom) that if I am ever taken from them early they will always know who I was which is something I have searched to know about my mom since I was 12.


http://chotskies.blogspot.com My Other Blog (whatever peaks my current interests)

Wordless Wednesday - Stone Archway

Below the arch of stone, waits a heart that sings you home.
Maria Gagliano

Heads or Tails - WAIT

For more Heads or Tails or to play along go here



On seeing the word "Wait" the first thing that came to mind was this song which I had heard a billion times yesterday during our 80's Hair Band day of music.

So crazy, I haven't watched this video since forever ago. Check out that hair, the clothes and the moves. I was so into the 80's long hair guys. Mike Tramp wasn't my personal favorite but I thought any guy with long hair was hot.

This was a really good song. The whole album was really good. What ever happened to Paula Cole?

Manic Monday - Will

Will the Word of the week from Mo at It's A Blog Eat Blog World brings up 3 very specific thoughts for me.

1 - Will - The document that will empower me long after I am gone to make sure that my children are taken care of should their father and I leave them before their adulthood.

We have talked about who we would want to take care of the kids and we have spoken to that person as well but we have yet to actually pay a lawyer to do the paper work for us.

A friend of mine recently did her will with her husband and again I am thinking about it.

2 - Will - I ever get out of debt with the IRS. This year my husbands company did well but not well enough for us to pay them the huge sum of money we owe. If you have ever owed the IRS you know their fees are higher than the Mafia (why did I capitalize mafia?)

3 - Will my son be going to Kindergarten this year? I am still on the fence about this. I am not sure which one I should be beefing for September. Do I celebrate the whole big boy going to Kindergarten or should I show him his new preschool? I am going to take the next two months and decide by August. The school is ok with this decision so why not take my time?

Slice of Life Sunday - Father

Over at Slice of Life we were invited to write about 1 of 3 topics.

Choices for the week of June 15, 2008 are:

1. My Father

2. Friday the 13th - I had to include this prompt as it is the 13th week for Slice of Life Sunday and we just had a Friday the 13th, the only one for 2008.

3. Writer’s Choice - You may choose to write about anything that has happened or is happening in your life that you feel moved to share.

I am choosing to write about my Father because well, it is Father's Day and because I really haven't written about him in the 4 years of blogging.

*I call my dad, Daddy and will until the day I die.

*My daddy grew up in Brooklyn, NY.
*My daddy sang when he was a tyke. His parents sent him to a singing, dancing school because he from what I hear pretty good. As a child I always thought he had a good voice when he sang to the radio. He reminded me of Neil Sedaka.
*My daddy was a marine.
*Daddy was married before he married my mom. He married her at 26 so I am not sure how old he was, how long he was married or if my mom even knew. I found this little bit of information out a few years ago. Interesting how something like that could be kept under wraps for so many years. My mom died in 1978 and I found in 2001.
There is a bit of mystery to the whole thing and I am unsure of whether I have siblings from him or not. Supposedly "he was coerced into marrying her because she was pregnant. She told me the kids were mine but her father, my Sargent, helped me get out of it because they were not mine." It seems strange that a father, circa 1960 would help some dude get out of marriage to his own daughter with 2 kids. It seems strange that this story never came out.
I have asked him on many occasions if I have brothers and he tells me no. I doubt I will ever know the real truth.
*My daddy was a printer by trade. He worked the big press machines for a publisher.
*My daddy is so funny. He always made me and everyone else laugh.
*My daddy makes friends easily and always had a lot of friends.
*My daddy lost his wife to cancer in 1978 and cried all the time.
*My daddy met a man (who he is still with) on a pier in Manhattan one night while he was crying and about to throw himself into the east river (imagine the life I would have had? Losing my mom at 12 to cancer and then my daddy taking his own life when I was 14!!
*My daddy is gay and now says he was since he was in the service. When I ask if my mom knew, he says yes. I find this, if true, to be very sad. Did she think she had to settle?
*My daddy's father, my grandfather molested me for years.
*My daddy dropped us off at my grandparents house and never looked back. He came to see us on some weekends but he was selfish and living his own life. He uses the gay factor as his reason. "I thought it embarrassed you and your sisters, so I moved away." If anyone should be embarrassed it should be him. How dare he leave 3 girls who just lost their mother to live his life. What kind of father is that?
*My daddy's boyfriend and I never got along. I wish it was different because I feel like he came into my life (a child's life) and it was his job to create a relationship with me.
*I love and accept my daddy with all his faults.
*My daddy let me down 3 years ago.
*My daddy has never met my 3 year old daughter.
*My daddy likes to make himself come off smelling like a rose.
*I talk to my Daddy 2 times a week and look forward to it. He is one of my favorite people to talk to.
*I miss him and the relationship we should be having.
*My daddy and I have not had a father, daughter relationship since I was 12. He is a guy friend that I call when I want to shoot the shit.
*I would love to take pictures of my kids with my daddy.
*My daddy sends the kids 1 dollar each a week and they love it.
*My daddy is so vain that the last picture I have of him is from 2003 when my son was born. He will not send a picture because he looks old. He promises me tons of them but never delivers.
*My daddy is too far away.
*One father's day, I would love to hug him and tell him in person.

Photo Hunters - Emotion

Pick the emotion, I'm not even sure what this is but this photo of my son cracks me up whenever I see it.

Photo Friday - Movement

Thursday Challenge - BRIGHT

This is one of those pictures that I normally would delete but I love the idea of the water, the sun and my child's joy of standing in the sprinkler. Besides, it goes with the Bright theme so it's an extra bonus.

Manic Monday - Under

Curse you Manic Monday, another week where I am unsure of what to write.

Under, What the hell can I come up for under?

Under the Boardwalk we'd be having some fun. I guess we could have fun, depending on who you are with. But only some ok?

Underneath your clothes there's an endless story. What is going on underneath his clothes? Is he tattooed? Is his name John Holmes? What the hell.

Under a Blood Red Sky, the title one of U2's best albums.

Under the Sea was a song in one of my favorite Disney movies. Now it's my daughter's favorite.

Going Under is a song by Evanescence. God damn I love her voice.

When I sleep, I have to be under the covers even if I am hot.

Friday my son was feeling a bit under the weather so I didn't send him to school.

Six Feet Under was one of HBO's best series.

I just brought some new underwear.

I tried to watch Underdog this weekend and couldn't get through the first 15 minutes.

I've Been Scrappin'

Friday Fun

1. So, baby, what’s your sign? I am a Leo. I never saw myself as a true Leo but I do remember for a short time having mega confidence. I was about 26 years old, bar tending and felt that the world was mine. I had tons of friends, good money, and guys breaking down the door. Those days are long over.

2. If you could live in any part of your country, with money no object, where would you live? In the world? I would live right here but in a bigger, newer home.

3. What is your biggest guilty pleasure? I love the internet. I love blogging, reading blogs, surfing, digital scrap booking, etc.

4. Do you have any hobbies? What is your favorite? Is there one you want to try? Currently my hobby is trying to get most of my kids pictures into some sort of scrapbook form. Whether it be original or digital. I take 500 - 3000 pictures depending on the month and sorting and cataloging them takes a whole lotta time but I guess this would also be my favorite thing to do in my down time.

5. If you were to take a single college class right now, just for fun, what would you want to learn about? I would take an animation class.

6. When it comes to shopping at the mall, what is your downfall? I hate the mall. I am not much of a shopper but put me in a Target, Borders or Best Buy and watch out.

7. It is Friday night. What are you doing? Hopefully putting the kids to bed on time and hanging with my husband.

Slice of Life Sunday

Slice of Life choices for the week of June 1, 2008 are:

1. Graduation

2. My Greatest Loss

3. Green-Eyed Monster: Jealousy

I am choosing Green-Eyed Monster because I have written about my greatest loss; My mom, so many times I am sure that everyone is sick of hearing it.

Anyway, I digress...

I think jealousy is a terrible waste of time but throughout life we tend to feel jealous of things other people have or how other people look compared to us. As we get older we realize (at least I hope we realize) that this is a totally unnecessary feeling and we let it go. I truly can't remember the last time I felt jealous of someone.

Being happy for what I have has been something that comes easy for me. I see each day, thing and person in my life as a gift. Why want more, better, someone else's?

Manic Monday - Over

Morgan chose "Over" as the word of the day/week what have you.

For me, *sob* I am just so sad that *gasp* Lost of over for the season, *sniffle*.

I have been obsessed with the show from the beginning but lately my obsession had taken a turn.

How can it be over when there is still so many mysteries?
How can it be over when I still have so many questions?
How can it be over when I need my weekly Sawyer fix?

My OTHER blog Chotskies, lists all my thoughts, questions and OMG moments on Lost's Season Finale. Check it out if you are so inclind. If not, I am so "over" it.

Peace out.