Sunday, September 07, 2008

Slice of Life Sunday - Writer's Choice

Slice of Life asked: What life memory moves you today?
Honestly, this is a really hard question to answer because there are so many that are so vivid and can still move me. The one I chose to share today is the day my son was born. This was written to him in my Pregnancy Journal.

May 11, 2003 You’re here!!

You were born by c-section on May 11th at 5:48 a.m. What a great Mother’s Day gift! You weighed in at 9.5 lbs and was 21 ½ inches long.

Here is the story of your birth:

My water broke at 3:22 a.m. as I was coming back to lie on the couch. I felt totally fine, checked the time and as I lied down there was the unmistakable gush of warm fluid. I got up and went over to the other couch to wake Daddy up. I had to call his name three times. He opened his eyes on the third time. I told him that my water had broken and he sat up telling me to “remain calm”. I told him I was but that he should call the doctor.

While he was on the phone I went to the bathroom to try to control the leaking all over the house. Daddy handed me the phone I noticed some meconium leaking and got nervous. I told the doctor and he told me to get to the hospital as soon as possible. I told Daddy how nervous I was because I was afraid of you aspirating the meconium, he told me everything would be ok.

I got dressed and we headed out. My thoughts on the way to the hospital were just how scared and that you would be ok. Daddy told me that since you are upside down (breech) that your face was away from the leaking. This calmed me for a little while but when the contractions kicked in I started getting more nervous. All I could think was please let everything be ok.

When we got to the hospital it was 4:15 a.m. They hooked me up to a fetal monitor and I finally got to hear your heartbeat. It was such relief! I said, “there he is”.

Everything was pretty quick from there. I lied in the bed being asked by three different nurses three different types of questions.

Daddy went to move the car and I was wheeled into the OR. The room was freezing. I couldn’t stop shaking. I just remember thinking how is this guy going to get this spinal in if I am shaking like a leaf.

A nurse held me up with her arms wrapped around me while another put a warm towel around my legs. The spinal medication took about 2 minutes to start working. I felt like I was having an out of body experience. I was not in control of anything that went on. I couldn’t speak, or barely think. My legs felt like lead and I got more nervous until Daddy was ushered in.

He sat next to my head and stroked my cheek as the doctors told me that we were 5 minutes away from the baby. I knew this meant they were starting to cut me. Trying not to think about what was going on past the sheet that separated my view from my lower body I concentrated on Daddy face and eyes. I kept looking at what the doctors were doing. I heard the doctors say we were 2 minutes away from the baby. To be honest I was so out of it. I couldn’t even think. I felt so weak and out of it. I kept going in and out of consciousness. I heard Daddy say “Oh my God” twice and then I heard you cry. I heard the doctors say, it’s a boy.

I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I remember is seeing Daddy holding you out of the corner of my eye. Then I saw an empty chair were he had been sitting.

My next memory is of Daddy coming into the recovery room. He started to tell me how big you were and how strong your chest and arms looked. He said you had a lot of hair.

I was brought to my room were I was in and out of consciousness. Daddy left to make phone calls and came back about 11:30 a.m. He asked me if I had seen you yet and I said no. I still had no idea what you looked like. When they brought you to me all I could think was that I had never seen anything so beautiful. I said, “Hello Handsome, I am your mommy.” You were so cute with so much hair. I wanted to cry. A son! A beautiful baby boy and I was holding him.

Daddy had called everyone that needed to be called. All we had to do now was get to know each other. We were now three. It would never be just two of us again. We started a family. As Daddy says “we created a birthday”.

You and I got to know each other very well at the hospital. You stayed in my room all day and then I got to see you every two hours for nightly feedings. Whenever you were brought to me, no matter what time they woke me up I was so happy to see you. I would tell the nurses, ‘My prince is here”. I missed you when you were not with me.

We were at the hospital for four days. Daddy came with the car seat to pick us up. I was wheeled downstairs in a wheel chair and Daddy carried you in your car seat. You looked so small and I kept thinking to myself, “they are letting me walk out of here with a baby!” I was really nervous driving with you in the car. I sat in the back of the car with you. I just wanted to get home so that nothing could happen to us. Daddy seemed comfortable driving us but I was a nervous wreck. You slept the whole way home. What a blessing. I thought you would be screaming the whole way and I wouldn’t be able to calm you.

We got home and the house was spotless. Daddy had been cleaning and the flowers from well-wishers were all set up along the banister. Daddy and I sat and looked at you for what seemed like hours. I have never been so in love as I am with these two men in my life right now. When did I get so blessed?

When you smile at me with that little innocent smile I just cry my eyes out. Hormones! Daddy has been a God send. He does absolutely everything. He cleans, cooks, helps feed, rocks, gets everything together so I can change you, wakes up with me in the middle of the night and loves you son so much. We spend so much time kissing your head that you are going to have a permanent kiss mark on it.

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