Sunday, April 27, 2008

Parenting Tips - 1, 2, 3, Magic

One of the counselors at my son's school handed a book and video to my son's SEIT for me to check out.

I started reading the book, and while I have never heard of the 1, 2, 3, Magic Method I do a lot of the things they suggest already.

Mostly the stop talking, no emotion one.

Kids feel inferior because they are to big old us. When we engage in debates with them and they see how they upset us, we are giving them power. If we stop talking we take the power away from.

A lot of parents have the "little adult assumption." They think children are little adults. I know quite a few of these parents (most of them are family).

Childhood is a period of transitory psychosis. Children are born unreasonable and selfish. Consequently, it is the parents job to help them be the opposite.

The Two Biggest Discipline Mistakes are Too Much Talking and Too Much Emotion.
Silence speaks louder than words.

The 1, 2, 3, Method in a Nutshell:

  • You hold up your fingers and say, "that's one"
    Wait 5 seconds (the child will probably not stop at this number)
  • You hold up two
    fingers and say, "that's two"
    Wait 5 seconds
  • If the child is still doing the unwanted behavior
    You hold up the fingers and say, "that's 3, take 5 - This means that they were giving 2 chances to change the behavior and now they will go
    to time out or a rest period.

    After time out there is no talking, apologies, lectures or discussions.
Some things do not warrant 3 chances to change their behavior, hitting for instance, will get them time out.

"Simply state 3, take 5 and add 15 for the seriousness of the offense".
To Summarize:
If you talk to much you take your child's focus off the need for good behavior. Instead you switch the focus onto the possibility of an energetic, possible enjoyable debate.

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