Monday, June 03, 2013

Are Your Dreams Unfulfilled?

Growing up I wanted to be a nurse. My mother had been sick with cancer when I was 11 years old. I watched all these loving nurses come in her life. All of them had a special something. Something that made you want to be just like them. They made my mother feel better, she seemed calmer and more relieved when they were there. Whether they were giving her pain medication, changing her sheets, or making her comfortable in her bed all while smiling at her 3 children who sat there, watching not knowing what to do for her.
I wanted to be that person. I wanted to help someone like I hadn’t been able to help my mother. From the age of 12 I knew what I wanted and told anyone who would listen.
There are so many reasons why this never happened. Some of it is can be read here and here.

Beside these reasons, moving out so young, having no support, financial or emotional, I basically got a job that I hated and never wanted to pay the bills and that dream just slipped away.

Looking back now, I think I would have been a terrific nurse but I also believe it would have been something that changed me as a person. I tried Hospice when I was younger and it killed me to see people dying. I believe that everything happens for a reason so I don’t look at this as a regret just something that I had wanted.

Now, I get to play nurse for my two babies. Someone gets hurt and there I am with my medi- kit. Ready to scoop someone up and clean, bandage, ice, hug, remove or kiss the boo-boo. I am the best damn nurse mommy I can be.

So, is this REALLY an unfulfilled dream? I feel like in a way I am living it, just not the way I had originally envisioned.

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