Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Princess Recovery By Jennifer L. Hartstein PsyD

Princess Recovery
Princess Recovery: A How-to Guide to Raising Strong, Empowered Girls Who Can Create Their Own Happily Ever Afters
By Jennifer L. Hartstein, PsyD
Published by Adams Media

If 70% of girls believe they're not good enough and 62% feel insecure about themselves,
100% of Parents Need This Book.

At two, she only wears dresses because she's a princess like the ones on TV. At six, she wants the trendiest, scantily clad doll because all her friends have it. At eight, she's begging for makeup because she wants to be pretty like the teen superstars. Your daughter has every opportunity to be independent and confident -- if only you could help her tune out the rest of the world! But can you really deny your little girl dresses, cartoons, and friends until she is out of danger?
Child and adolescent psychologist Dr. Jennifer L. Hartstein has good news: You don't have to! Her unique program teaches you to curb the world's influence on your daughter -- without making her live in a bubble. In this debut book, Dr. Hartstein teaches you to:

• Encourage your daughter to pursue her passion with industry and intelligence
• Establish high but realistic expectations of your daughter and her future
• Provide context for problematic influences -- from the media to her peers
• Build a mutual trust that will withstand her adolescent growing pains

With this plan, you can bring balance, confidence, and self-sufficiency into your daughter's life while giving her a modern, vibrant childhood.

The 411: As the mom of a 6 year old spitfire and a Daisy leader to 10 girls I love reading books about creating balance and confidence in young girls. I worry about the preteens in my life who seem to be going through so much already. As a young girl, (and sometimes still do) confidence was something I completely lacked. There was no one protecting, monitoring or filtering out what I saw or heard. I see it now with so many of my female friends, family and more who ask young kids if they have a boyfriend, or girlfriend in school and the kids are only 4 - 12 years old. So many think it is cute  when young children have a crush or wear "sexy" clothes. Personally I find it repulsive. When Goddess was a toddler and anyone said she was pretty, I would follow with she is smart too! Little girls grow up hearing things like "pretty, sexy, thin, etc" and these words sit with them and if they are not these things or if they are, they feel THIS is what matters. Dr. Hartstein's method doesn't have to be followed to a T but it is a great place to start.

Raising a smart, strong, empowered girl starts with what she is learning at home. Check yourself and make sure you are sending the most positive message. Evaluate your own morals. Girls grow up way to fast.

I love the age appropriate break down in each section too. From ages 2-3, 4-5, 6-8 you can help your daughters create a strong sense of self which will enable them to make the right decisions that will help them the rest of their lives.

My hope for Goddess is that she keeps your spirit. She is funny and doesn't conform. She knows what it means to have a good heart, to help people, and she is confident in her mastered abilities. However, as a people pleaser she is often hurt by words like, "I don't like you," "You are not my friend," "You are stupid", the annoying things other kids say when they don't have others telling them how to be a nice person. I simply ask her, "Are you stupid?" or "do they talk to you?" When she says No or yes respectively I remind her that words only hurt us if we let them. If you know you are NOT those things or Don't do those things, ignore them.

I have a long way to go to make sure that Goddess comes out empowered on the other side. I can only pray that I am doing right by her. Hopefully by spending time with her and allowing her to be herself, while filtering out the things she doesn't need to know or see, plus the help of Princess Recovery she will be a strong, wonderful woman who doesn't NEED to feel validated by others. I can only pray.

My daughter is my princess but I hope she grows up knowing she can still wear a tiara if she wants under her firefighter uniform if that is what she chooses to be.

Let your girls be who they are going to be, but lead the way with good healthy morals that teach her compassion, responsibility, appreciation of inner beauty over outer beauty!

Author Bio
L. Hartstein, PsyD, author of Princess Recovery: A How-To Guide to Raising Strong, Empowered Girls Who Can Create Their Own Happily Ever Afters, a child and adolescent psychologist, is a regular correspondent for The Early Show. She has also appeared on Fox News, The Today Show, and Headline News. Dr. Hartstein uses a variety of treatment approaches that promote strong self-awareness, distress tolerance, and acceptance. She lives in New York City.
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