Friday, August 25, 2017

Sibling Apologies and My Heart

Road trip from three days ago and her not wanting to be in a picture with him

Handsome and Goddess fight like other siblings. I remember when I was young fighting with my sisters every day but I don't remember it being sooo mean. She is an antagonizer who is free with her hands. She can be full of vinegar and down right rude with a mean fist. I guess this will serve her later in life. Hopefully in a positive way where she will not deal with anyone's BS. BUT right now I really need her to be easier on her brother. He has it hard enough with trying to deal with life. He is autistic and has a hard time understanding because he is very literal. He can be mean as well but in a totally different way.

The argument is usually that he said something to her and she retaliates with a punch, a pinch or a slap. I am DONE with the physicality of their arguments and have tried to explain and tell her why I need her to be more patient with him and less mean as well as he is hurting with words and is not physical so the next time she touches him she will lose her electronics for a week.

Today, there was a punch to his back during their putting the groceries away because he was standing behind her waiting to get into the fridge while she was getting away from the fridge. It was then that I told her she lost everything because she had hit him. She started telling him she was sorry. He turned and said, "Here is the problem! I really don't think you are. I think it is because you are losing your electronics." She tried again and he said, "I don't know! How about you write me a letter telling me why you are sorry and I will consider your apology." I was floored. Who was this kid? He was so logical. She didn't do it right away. She said no and told him she had already tried to apologize. I turned to him and said "it is up to you. If you want to accept her apology I will go with it."

We all went our separate ways. 15 minutes later she came over and said, I wrote something for him and want to share it with him on my Google Share Drive. I said, leave him a text telling him to check his email. She felt foolish and her text stated she was trying to be inconspicuous and wanted him to check his email. He did and together we headed to his computer.

It was adorable and I wish I could share it here. It mostly was that she was sorry. She stated she had tried to tell him she was sorry but she was sorry, so sorry, very sorry, I can't go on about how sorry I am. It included a link to a song and a picture of Mickey Mouse wearing The Cowboys uniform. He is a Cowboy fan. She also mentioned how could you deny a hug from me and then PS..a hug.

I asked him if she knew what she was saying. He said, "she is saying it was wrong and she is sorry".

"OK honey she didn't say she was wrong but what is she saying? The word is used twice.

"Well she used Sorry about 15 times Mommy."

"No not the word sorry, what else did she say?"

"I don't know!"

I turned to her because I knew she knew actually what I was talking about and said, "can you give him a gesture of the word?"

She turned to him and threw out her arms.  He jumped up from his chair and ran to her. They hugged. I could have snapped the picture, my phone was in my hand but they hugged for about 30 seconds. I was ready to cry! He always wants a hug and she denies the hugs every single time.

She knew exactly what he needed to hear and what would make him understand she was sorry. So whether she did it because she wanted her electronics back or because she wanted to it doesn't matter. What matters is that she gave him EXACTLY what HE needed and that was all I need.


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