Just In Case You Don't Know How To Read In Red?

 Ummm....I wonder what this big button that says Push For Help means.

Goddess was invited to a Harry Potter themed birthday party. Here is the card she made which I think is pretty cute.

Tissue Box Easter Basket

Last month my not so artistic son told me he needed to make an Easter basket for a class project. His teacher was going to have all the kids bring in snacks to fill each others baskets. Such a cute idea but he was super stressed because he finds art very difficult and always has. This year his teacher has been great because she believes that a lot of fun has been taken out of the day to day schooling and taught her entire class to sew. They sow something every month. I will have to take a photo of the back of his door to post.

I gave him a tissue box that I had put wire through as a handle. Here is how he decorated it.

This was the tape to make sure my wire handles held up.

He was very proud of it and it is still hanging up in his room!

Trying To Smile Through The Pain #selfie

There is so much going on in my life lately. I have been suffering alone because well at this point I see no reason to share. Nothing good will come of it. Everyone needs to deal in their own time. I may never be able to deal with this but I have high hopes for myself that I will one day be able to put it all behind me and be stronger then ever before. I guess what I am trying to say I have good days and bad and sometimes struggling to be strong every day takes a physical and mental toll. I run out of strength reserve and need to crash, cry, sob and regroup every once in a while.

These were taken on a good day.

I am amazed that I have these days knowing what I am going through but happy to know this is the face my kids see 90% of the time. I save my crying for after they are sleeping. No reason to cause them any pain. Protect! Protect! Protect! This is what parents do.

I hope you are all smiling today!

Oh Common Core You Are Killing Me!!!!

OK let's start by saying I am not smart. I was a below average student but man this Common Core stuff is killing me.

My daughter is learning in 3rd grade what I learned in 6th.

She started September learning multiplication and division simultaneously. When in second grade she was learning 5 + 18. There was no slow increase with long addition or subtraction. It was all thrown at her at once. She is like me a below average student and was completely lost.

Here we are in May and they have covered multiplication, division, decimals, measurements, finding the area, place value, number lines, fractions, operations and algebraic thinking and and now they are on geometry. AND because it was Common Core there were new terms for us to research like arrays and number bonds,  In 8 months! Nothing is fully learned. The continues flow of worksheets are ridiculous and I have to research everything. Needless to say we are exhausted and frustrated.

Math is the hardest subject for me. I truly never understood it. Helping my kids has definitely helped me. I wish I knew then what I know now.

Last week I was subbing in a self contained 6th grade class. I loved this chart the teacher had on the board. Makes it look so easy that I just have to share.

My Heart Hurts All The Time

I sit looking out the window hoping that I will feel a glimmer of happiness and hope that things in my life will change.

Sometimes looking at the positives even though there are tons is very hard and you feel the need to self preserve and fold in on yourself not allowing anyone in until you are ready, until you are strong enough to hear differences in opinions or words from sometimes wise, caring, good intentioned others.

Sometimes their words are harder than before they spoke and sometimes they shed a little light on your situation but only you know what you are truly going through.

Sometimes even trying to explain why you feel a certain way is too exhausting to do.

Sometime you have to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and remember that life is full of blessings. They may not always be the ones you are hoping for but if you don't stop and see the little things, you will miss out.

Today the little things are:

A fun text from my husband
My son smiling and walking confidently into school
My computer working well and efficiently
My daughter's allergies decreasing this morning thanks to her medicine
A beautiful day outside my window with green trees, pink flowers and birds chirping
A brilliant cup of coffee
Some good stretching before breakfast

Sometimes all you should do is focus on the little things and remember that this too shall pass.

Some Photos From Last Week - It's All In The Eyes

 This is Goddess' eye! We did it with a mirror effect on my iPhone. We think it looks like a bowling pin.

 She asked me to send this photo to her Daddy! Just hanging around!

While doing homework with Handsome I notice the flag through these branches. Our colors never go unnoticed!

 Just about gave me a heart attack when she tells me she does this everyday during recess.

Handsome loves getting his homework done before Goddess gets home. He can't concentrate when the mouth is going.

It was too beautiful this weekend to be inside! Taking a break from the scooter to listen to music and chat.

My Crazies Doing Becky G's Monster Remix

Call Me Maybe Featuring Goddess and Mom Accompanied by Carly Rae Jepsen

This is what Goddess and I do in the car in the morning waiting for the school door to open. We have been sitting for an hour daily due to scheduling and last week started making iPhone videos.

Devil's Due Is Not Scary But Worth A Watch

The 411 by Maria:

As soon as the opening scene starts I remembered the trailer. A guy sitting in an interrogation room all bloody looking down while he is asked questions about his wife's death.

Samantha and Zach are on their honeymoon when they find a taxi to go back to the hotel. The driver talks them into heading to an underground place for some more partying. They reluctantly say yes and eventually wake up unsure of how they even got to their hotel room. (My husband and I were yelling at the TV at this point. "Stop, the guy needs a flash light to enter the building! Why are you still following him, RUN Forest Run!") We, the viewer, see them being carried to a satanic symbol on the floor.

Sam soon finds herself pregnant even with birth control pills. Eventually strange things start happening. Sam has a craving for raw meet and devours it literally at the meat counter in a super market. She gets nose bleeds and her back is completely bruised and she has super human strength whenever she feels she is threatened.

Eventually they notice people watching the house and camera are installed in the home but I still don't know by who. At a friend's communion the priest starts spitting up blood during the ceremony. We see Sam's eyes turn red!

During this time Zach is slowly investigating symbols, visiting the priest and even sees the cab driver at the church. Eventually he for some reason breaks into a house where he sees footage of his own home. He is nearly stopped but races back to his home to find Sam screaming in a pool of blood with her belly cut open. He watches at the cab driver and doctor take the baby and he is arrested for the murder of his wife!

Interesting story. Not scary. I love that the story was told through the camera. Throughout the movie Zach is filming everything. Makes it seem more documentary then movie.

The scariest scene to me was when a little girl enters the nursery looking for her aunt and Sam steps out of the shadow to say "get out". This is kind of a Rosemary's Baby but better!

Catching Up With Some Color With Easter

 Easter this year wasn't what it used to be. I wasn't really all there or totally into it. I feel so bad about it and know one day I will regret how all the current stress and heartbreak I am under has taken time away from my kids. It is crazy how the mind works and even if you are trying your hardest to find the positive and do a damn good job about it, there are times that the ugly black hole that is piercing your heart every day isn't being silenced. 

I am trying to be a good mom throughout everything that is going on around me these days and most days I have it licked but never at 100%.  Eventually I will be OK and everything will be a new normal. Until then all I can do is my best and sometimes my best kinda sucks.

 Goddess' basket is so lovely in all it's pink glory.

 Handsome is always harder because well, he isn't into candy. But the eggs are filled with chick and bunny marshmellows and swedish fish.

They are getting so big! It breaks my heart a little every time I look at them. My babies are my greatest accomplishment.

What do you think is your biggest accomplishment? How do you make sure you are the best mom you can be regardless of what is giving you grief?

Me And My Goofies Make A Bored Video

P's From The Liberty Science Center

Here are some photos from my family's visit to the Liberty Science Center in Jersey City, New Jersey. My daughter and I hope to go back again. We felt rushed and it was really crowded due to Spring Break. Next time, we head out, we are getting there for the time they open!

This little Poison Dart Frog is so cute even if he is toxic

My husband's favorite room centered around power and energy. The kids were amazed by the Plasma Power display

Carrington Farms Adds Some Health Into My Life @CarringtonFarms

I was fortunate enough to receive a package from Carrington Farms a company I have never heard of before but man I know who they are now.

Coconut oil is something I have been meaning to try. It is everywhere these days.  They sent us the pure, cold pressed coconut oil which smells divine. I have used it for many things so far but the best part has been for the lipsticks my daughter has become obsessed about making.

It is pretty cool! You basically boil some water. In a little glass or in our case plastic bowl you melt the crayon with the coconut oil and wa-lah! Instant lipstick my daughter is allowed to wear.

We mixed, mixed and mixed some more until it was smooth.

Next we poured it into a bead container I never got around to using and let it set. I swear it is purple although it looks blue in this photo. She just uses the tip of her finger or a lip brush to apply. We need more crayons.

Our absolute favorite Carrington Farm product is Milled Flax Seeds. Goddess and I are addicted to Flax seeds and eat them as is. We usually have them in seed form. These milled seeds were opened right after the box with all three products was opened. We put them on everything from yogurt, to oatmeal, salad, and even my gym breakfast an English muffin with peanut butter and half a banana. Goddess just sticks a spoon in the bag.

We also found out that Flax is rich in vitamin and minerals. Also that it is a great low carb, gluten-free seed and is helpful for digestion. We just knew it taste good. 

While I don't have a photo of it, I have used the Coconut Cooking Oil on everything from french fries, meatballs, eggs, pork cutlets and more. There is no coconut flavor to it so it doesn't change the taste of the food but what I did notice is that it doesn't burn out the way other oils do. It doesn't smoke either. All great things.

I recently read on the Carrington Farms website that coconut oil is great for hair too. I have dry hair and hope to use it this weekend.

Head over to the Carrington Farms site and see what other products they have and why they are so good for you.

We will certainly be buying them in the future.