Friday, February 13, 2015

My Poor Mom And The Diaper #TBT

Originally Written - Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Ha! Ha! You should have seen her face. She was beyond upset. Today I decided to give Mom a thrill. I would surprise her by showing her I knew how to take off my diaper. I have been practicing unbeknownst to her and was saving it for just the right time. Mom was on the phone with Aunt Teresa and I raced behind the rocking chair, took of the diaper in record time and opps wouldn’t you know it; it was then that I felt that urge. You know the one; the one where you just push and relax and then you feel like having another chocolate chip cookie or something.

I crouched down, pushed, relaxed and flew out of that corner like there was no tomorrow.

I was standing up on the rocking chair, trying to see if I could see my butt nuggets when Mom squealed. She was getting a clear view of my naked butt and she was not happy. I heard her tell Aunt Teresa, “He has no diaper on!”

She said my name again but I was busy trying to figure out if there was a way I could distract her before she saw my butt babies. I never get to inspect or touch them. She takes my diaper off and throws it away every single time. Damn it, they are mine and Mom and Dad constantly throw them away. I fight them every time I see them going for a new diaper but they catch me, lie me down, clean my butt, (all the while saying PU), throw a new diaper on me and then throw everything in the trash. It is not fair!

Mom took me off the chair and got in my face. “No, Handsome!” Damn, there is that word again. No, don’t take the diaper off? No, we don’t squat in the corner? Or no, we don’t stand butt naked on the chair? I can’t figure her out.

She cleaned up my butt balls and left the room to throw them away and probably blab to Aunt Teresa.

Just then I noticed a little ball that had escaped Mom and the paper towel. I bent over, picked it up with my fingers brought it to my face for closer inspection and then I heard it. “NO! HANDSOME1 No!” She scared me and I dropped it. Damn that woman, she must have eyes in the back of her head. The next time I get a chance to inspect my butt marbles I will make sure she is in the bathroom, then I will hide them under my pillow for inspection at a later time. They must be worth something if my parents keep taking them from me and I intend to find out. Until next time….

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