Thursday, July 04, 2024

The Effects of Gentle And Passive Parents On Your Toddlers

Toddlers are not nice! Toddlers say things that shock me. Toddlers can be very mean and aggressive with their peers. Toddlers are also very sweet, loving, kind and make my job with it but it is NOT an easy job by any means.

I am in my 10th year of working in a daycare and I can tell you it is not for the faint of heart. My coworkers and I have seen such a drastic change in the children we work with and it is not a good change.

Prior to last year I was in a 2+ toddler room and this coming September I will have my 3rd older 3 class which is the class right before PreK. 

In my first year of working in the daycare my kids were 2+ and learning to potty but also learning many other things. They were capable of waiting their turn, listening to instructions, hearing their name, following directions and more. The teacher I worked with at that time use to talk about how we were working at a kindergarten level with them. They were well behaved and had critical thinking skills. They were able to retain information and it was a pleasure to teach them.

Last year the children I worked with in my new older 3s room were kids I moved up with so they were mine for 2 years. They knew my expectations and we worked together. I based my curriculum around their interests and built on their learning. They listened and could follow directions. They were a pleasant class and I grew to love them and their families. I still babysit for some of them outside of work hours which is a pleasure. 

This past September I got a whole new class. They came from two different classrooms based on ages and 14 out of 19 have already turned 4 this year with the others turning over the next few months. I started things exactly the same as my last class. I laid out the classroom rules and expectations. My assistant and I work like a team and were very successful last year. Our group moved onto their PreK class ready, willing and able. They are great kids but this years crop are nothing like them. 

None of them listen to directions. All of them need to be mico-managed to get them moving. 1-2 out of 19 have critical thinking skills. 10 out of 19 can identify their names. 19 out of 19 cannot hear their name called. 19 out of 19 can not use walking feet. 4 out of 19 have spatial awareness the others act like they are just learning to move around the world. 1 out of 19 can retain the calendar with prompts. 

I spend my days stress out, trying to get their attention over the noise level of a hockey game and helping them move forward to the sink to wash their hands. No one understands that once someone leaves the sink move forward so the next person can wash their hands and it goes on and on like that.

There is no need to wonder why children are such a mess. I can see it daily. Parents who give all the power to their toddlers. Kids who come in with pajamas on, no shoes, won't carry their own backpacks, and a parent often times frazzled because they couldn't get their child to do what they wanted or needed them to do. Parents who give children all the power are creating problems for themselves in the future. 

What Children Need:

Children require boundaries, rules and direction. 

They can be given choices but no more than 2 and only ones you can live with. 

Simple instructions that are easy for them to follow.

They need to be held accountable. If you ask them to do something and they don't your job is to help them. Sometimes it is hand over hand. Sometimes it is saying it another way and sometimes it is demanding they listen to you.

Parents must understand that children are children. They are not your little friends. Your job as a parent is to parent and sometimes that means raising your voice. Sometimes it means allowing your child to cry. It is okay. They will be okay I promise. They will still love you. Is it hard!? Yes! Very hard. But our job as parents is to make sure other people want to be around our children long after we are gone. 

My suggest as a teacher is allow your child to be bored sometimes. Do not give them an IPad, IPhone, computer or game system until they are older. It is okay for quiet. They do not need you to entertain them all the time. As a child I did my my creative work when I was bored. 

Do not give them every single thing they ask for. Wanting things keep you humble. I hear it all the time at school. If I break/lose it my mom/dad will buy me another. No! Children should respect their things and should learn to appreciate their things. 

I do positive affirmations every day with my class. They repeat after me. 

I am strong

I am smart

I listen to my teacher

My mommy and daddy loves me

I am not better than anyone else

No one is better than me. 

I am loved.

We also sing a song before we have our snacks and lunch. 

Let's be thankful, let's be thankful

Let's be glad, let's be glad

for the many good thing that we have, that we have.

Children should be grateful. They should give thanks. They don't know to do this unless they are taught. 

Teach them to respect others. 

Teach them that there is a price to their actions and that things they want have a price

Teach them to be kind to others 

Teach them empathy

Teach them to be patient 

Teach them to share

I can teach your child letters, colors, shapes, but I need your help to teach them how to be good people.

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