Summer Break Is Over And I Am Sad About It

I don't feel like I had much of summer. Yes, it's probably more than some get. I mean I had three weeks off but the first week was after the last day of school and summer school beginning. As a one-on-one attendant for a child I don't want to change her world to much by taking the summer off if she will attend summer school. Her world should be as consistent as possible so if she is going, so am I. Unfortunately the first Monday off I decided to scrub  my bedroom from top to bottom.  I moved end tables and got under my dresser with a rug comb before vacuuming. I spent two hours on my hands and knees and unfortunately two days later couldn't move at all. My chiropractor told me 15 minutes top with long breaks in between. It took a week and a half to be able to move without pain.

Then I worked 6 weeks before being off for Wildwood which I didn't feel "off". I mean I'm in a hotel room with my family. Is that really off? 

Then I worked the daycare from 3-6:00ish depending on when the last kid left and did dog sitting. Soooo not much of a summer break as school employees get.

This week we go back but these two days that should be off I have to attend mandatory meetings for work. I wish I could say break has been amazing and I did a ton of fun things but I can't. I did more than last year though so I guess I should be happy about that. 

Today I am on the last hour alone for the week. There were 2.5 to be exact and I just zoned as I should. There is no guilt or judgement to just be. Being quiet is important to life too which is why I decided to write this. It feels good to spend time without any judgement. No one to say what you said didn't make sense (daughter), or snicker at what you might be watching on TV or playing on your phone. No guilt to read a chapter of a book when maybe you should have been caught dusting or cleaning something. It is beautiful.

Being alone for 2 hours a week is good for my soul. As I start gearing up to return to 11 hour days of work I know I need to make some changes. Maybe during the weekend I need to just go out alone. Sit in quiet and listen to my own vibrations, feelings, thoughts or whatever I friggin want.  Here's to finding me time!