At Hospital

Dear Readers,

Long story short. I am at the hospital with an acute case of Diverticulitis. I pray to be out by Friday.

If I promised a reader or sponsor anything. Please know I will get to it as soon as I can.

Long version of this story when I get home.

I love you all.
Maria

It Was Like Lord of The Flies....(long post!)

Yesterday I headed to a birthday party for one of Handsome's classmates. It was one that I knew would be a little stressful because Handsome really likes this kid and this kid is quite popular. Handsome really wants to be like this little boy and is quite the outsider in this group of kids.

He is often removed from class to attend speech, OT and PT which means he misses out on a lot of the down time in class when kids are socializing. Which also means he misses out on the one thing he needs to strengthen in his social life.

As most of you know, Handsome had a speech delay which contributed to a social delay. He is a really good kid who just wants to fit in but doesn't know how to join in.

He is quieter and shyer than most of his classmates. He also doesn't speak up for himself which means most often you hear his name. It happens at home too! "Handsome, Handsome, Handsome, Stop! Stop! Don't hit me, give that back." So, you walk in and say, "Handsome, would you stopping hitting her! Give it back!" He says, "I'm not talking" which makes you angry, so you say something like, "stop touching her or you will be punished." Then he cries and after you sit down with him you find out that, "she" hit him 5 times while he told her to stop, then he retailiates by pulling out of her hand the thing she hit him with to hit her back."

I have learned that this is usually the way it goes and before I blame him, I try to find out what happened first.

Yesterday, I was sitting down 5 minutes into the party and a little girl comes over saying to her mom "Handsome hit me." The mom says, "tell his mom". The girl comes over and tells me so I head over and say, "Handsome be careful, this little girl says you hurt her."

I sit back down and 3 minutes later the same girl comes back and says the same thing. The mother tells her not to be a tattle tale but I head over to the bounce house, take off my shoes and crawl inside. There are about 15 kids in there and it is utter mayhem. I cross my arms and stand in a corner in the middle of this awesome bounce house complete with slide, basket ball hoop, ladder, two posts for bouncing into and a gate looking thing that kids are supposed to crawl under or climb over.

As I stand there I get to watch the chaos and calamity of 5, 6, 7 years younger and older in their own little world. There are kids hanging from this gate thing, holding onto it like koalas leaving only a small corner for kids to slip through in order to get to the ladder, leading to the slide. Kids are crawling and climbing and jumping over each other to hang, climb, slide, wrestling for a football, sliding down the slide as others climb up and then bashing into the kids at the bottom of the slide as kid congregate there instead of sliding and moving.

My son's name was called out at least 10 times by kids who wanted me to know he "hit them."

As the only present parent I was privy to how rude, mean, obnoxious and catty kids can be. They are so mean to each other. After listening to at least 3 kids tell me that Handsome had hit them. I was tired. He wasn't hitting anyone. What he was doing was trying to go down the slide, asking people to "please" move, asking kids to "slide over so I can get through." Then heading down the slide only to have kids congregate there and get knocked into chaos of kids coming down the slide. My son included.

Eventually I started telling them that I was tired of hearing how Handsome had "hit them" and started saying, "he did not hit you! he knocked into you because you guys piled up at the bottom of the slide" Or "you guys fell into a heap" Or "you guys slipped on a football".

When he came down the slide hitting with his foot a little girl who was sitting at the bottom, "I heard her say ow, Handsome!"  Another little girl said to her, "you can't beat Handsome up, but I can!" Then she proceeded to grabbed him from behind pinning his arms down. I watched to see what he would do. He tried to get away but never, ever said anything like, "Stop! Let go! Get off me!" nothing! I finally said, "Hey, let go of him now!" She did, saying that he had hurt a little girl. I told her that he had not and that I was watching. Then as he slid down the slide, I watched her, run up, throw herself down the slide to crash into him before he hit the bottom. He grabbed his wrist and started crying. I told her that I saw everything and that it was not nice! That I should have Handsome march right over to her mother as she had and that she was being really mean and it was not OK! Then I put my hand out to Handsome who thought he had done something wrong. If your mom is the only one there and all you ever hear is your name and to not do this or not do that, you eventually get a complex thinking you are the WRONG one.

I told him, "I am not mad you at. Come with me and lets put ice on your wrist. I saw what she did and that was very bad. She was not nice."

We put the ice on and eventually went back in. I stood outside the bounce house, not only watching mine for the two and a half hours, but the rest. It was ridiculously chaotic and I don't know how more kids didn't get hurt.

I stood there for 2.5 hours watching the chaos but mostly watching my son. So if anyone had a complaint I could say what did or did not happen.

At one point he jumped and a little girl (6?) who was hanging on that "post thing" fell off, held her side and ran off as I asked if she was OK. I heard her brother (12?) call Handsome! He didn't hear him and went to climb the ladder. I saw the sister (11?) heading toward him, I zoned in and saw her grab Handsome from behind. He silently fought her trying to get away. She lifted him up and I yelled, "put him down right now! Let.... go!" She did and walked over to me saying, "he hurt my sister and my brother wanted me to get him." (she was what, going to drag my just turned 7 year old out to her 12 year old brother?) I said, "He didn't hurt your sister, your sister fell. I am watching everything." She said, "I didn't know, I saw my sister crying and my brother asked me to get him." So, I calmly explained what happened, and that everyone in the bounce house was wild and crazy. That they are all complaining about getting hit but they are at the bottom of the slide and when 3 kids come down the slide, they WILL get hurt. She said, "so, it's their fault because they are at the bottom!!!!!" I said, exactly!

After standing and watching the chaos I just had to leave. I bribed him with a trip to Dunkin Donuts. It was heartbreaking and devastating to watch. Thankfully, he is not fully aware of how hurtful the day was. Eventually he will be and then it will be harder. Now, I am the one hurt. He is fine! It scares me about the things I cannot protect him from.

I can only pray that he is not bullied in school and if he is, I hope he learns to stick up for himself. We are teaching him that he needs to speak up and if someone hits you, you tell them them to stop, then go to the teacher and tell them.  If that kid hits you again, you are to hit them back as hard as you can! Hopefully he won't have to use this method because, I don't think he will do it!


Handsome was having a great time jumping, but I just couldn't watch the torture anymore. He was not allowed to play with them. Not allowed, to touch them. Not allowed to follow them. He just wanted to fit in and tried so hard but when you are bigger, older, "different" you are odd! It was so sad to watch him try so hard.

I don't believe these kids are bad kids. I believe that there was a lot of absent parenting going on. The kids are not being told what is right or wrong, they are not being told what is rude and mean. They are just kids. Without proper instruction. If no one is telling them, how will they know?

Childhood is hard enough but I am really worried about him. I am worried about how hard kids are. How mean kids are. How Handsome doesn't stick up for himself. If a kid goes up to a teacher crying after someone retaliates and the other kid isn't saying "that kid hit me first" the kid crying will be the victim.

I have talked to all his teachers, all his special educators and therapists, his bus driver, his preschool teachers, and everyone says the same thing! He is NOT an aggressive kid. He is a good boy. He does not look for trouble. He is very polite and asks if other kids are OK if they fall, trip or bang into something. Yet, he is made out to be the brute. The bad kid. The "hitter".

The day before he accidentally hit a little girl in the leg with a bowling ball. I knew for a fact that he didn't haul off and hit her but without him speaking up, he looks guilty. It was only after talking to him for 10 minutes that he told me the ball slipped out of his hands, the girl was sitting on the floor and it hit her.

My heart broke for him yesterday. I just wanted to ball my eyes out thinking about how hard he tried and how he felt like he was wrong. At the end, I made a point of telling him that I was proud of him. That he didn't do anything wrong. That he was a good boy.

When we got him home, his father and I had a talk with him separately about sticking up for himself. How it is OK for him to yell at someone, tell them to stop or even go to their mother and say, "so and so hit me."

Lessons for speaking up start now!

Mellow Yellow Monday - Birthday

Look at all the yellow at Handsome's 7th Birthday - It was a fabulous day.

Self Portrait Sunday - May 22, 2010

Happy Sunday!

Tomorrow night is the season finale of Lost and they are putting it on at 7:00 p.m. After watching for 6 years, they couldn't put it on after my kids go to bed. How the hell am I supposed to watch if my kids are up?

After spending the afternoon in a bowling alley for a 6 year old birthday party, I am shot! Feeling tired and goofy. Thought why not post a picture of one of my many talents. My daughter has been practicing the tongue roll since she is two and now can do it as good as I can.

God Never Blinks 50 Lessons for Life's Little Detours

What I Can Tell You: Even though it is a Best Seller I had never heard of this book before. This is one of the best parts about being a book reviewer. So many things are on my reading list that I normally wouldn't have noticed. God Never Blinks is a perfect title. It is thought provoking and a message I am teaching my children (God sees everything).

What Regina has done is created a templet that we should live our life by. I really appreciated her list of  45 life lessons and 5 to grow on that she wrote to celebrate growing older. It contained things like:

No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

What other people think of you is none of your business.

God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

At 38 I felt like I really knew who I was, at 43 I know and accept even more of who I am and I like me. This is something I wished I knew in my early 20's. It would be interesting to know what kind of person I would be if I knew what I knew now, then (got that?)

Regina's advice is so basic and true that it fits most of the population universally regardless of beliefs, upbringing or religion differences. While this is obviously a book of one woman's story, it could be any of ours.

I personally love self help books.

Friday Fragments

It has been a crazy week.

Busy with life and still playing catch up on sponsors, giveaways, reviews and email.

Monday - I had a meeting with the Director of Curriculum, Principal and two other moms from the school. The other moms each of kids in the school and for the past three years I have heard about some problems that I was hoping to combat before the kids even started. Both kids will be in this school next year and there were a few things we wanted to bring to the attention of the school.

#1 for all of us were the attitudes of the aids who greet our children. We weren't asking them to move mountains or to fire anyone. We wanted them to know that the attitude presented at the school was NOT OK, unacceptable and unprofessional. Hopefully the few things we presented will be fixed before September when my kids start.

Tuesday - What the hell happened Tuesday? I don't remember. I think this was a laundry, review, cleaning day.

Wednesday - I met with someone about insurance! Boring and tons of paperwork

 As a Pearista for Pear Tree, I received really cute note monogram note cards. For all your stationary needs, remember Pear Tree for your cards, invitations and more.

Then I received a box from Aurora Focus Group for YooHoo & Friends I received this box

You really want to make a kid happy! Let them open a box of really awesome stuffed animals.  Doesn't she look as proud as Octomom minus two kids?

Thursday - My baby girl, Goddess had her Kindergarten orientation. We had breakfast with Clary then headed to orientation. Wahhh...as excited as I am for her. I am so sad. She is my little buddy. She looked so small on the bus. They took us on an 8 minute bus ride and she was so excited.

I also found out that I won a $100 Fisher Price card which is so exciting!

Friday - I got to see a friend who I haven't seen since Monday. Her husband is off and it is harder to see her. She came over for an hour and a half and we got to chat. Then Goddess and I did some work in the family room, some laundry and headed out to pick up Handsome.

Hope you had a great week!

May Has Become Birthday Month In My Life

Handsome's birthday is in May, three personal friends birthdays are in May and 6 kids in Handsome's class are in May. Is this normal? I cannot tell you how many birthdays I have attended this month (hence the quiet blog posts).

Getting for my kids is so easy. Handsome is very specific in his likes and wants. Goddess is super easy because she "LOVES" everything.

I really love buying gifts for kids. It is so fun. I just buy things I would want to play with. Being a "big kid" makes it really easy.

For Handsome's first two years I always got him educational toys. As an older, first time mom I wanted to teach him. All my time was spent with him which is why he was spelling at 2 years old. I have video of me doing a puppet show for him while reading a book when he was 2 months old. Poor kid!

When he started Occupational Therapy most of his OT toys looked like this.

I love mixing toys with education.

Now, I love the pretend play toys.

If I had more room and money, I would have bought Handsome something like this.

Isn't virtual wishing fun?

For the kids in my son's class this year I got a lot of them these.

Hopefully we get a financial reprieve next month. I am gifted out.

Book Review - Welcome to Harmony

The name just says it all. Look at that beautiful cover, you just know you want to put Jodi Thomas' newest creation on your list this summer. Some of my friends have started their summer reading list and I figured that is a great place to start.

What I Can tell You:  It took me 2 days to devour this book because I have two little ones but this would have been a one day book prior to babies because I would have read for the whole day. You really don't want to put it down!  I wanted to find out what was going to happen to Reagan. Would she find what she was longing for. Every young person needs a home and people she knows love her for all the right reasons. My heart broke for poor Reagan. I just wanted to pluck her out of the pages and love her.  She heads to Harmony after meeting a woman named Miss Beverly. When Miss Beverly passes, Reagan heads to the town she heard so many stories and decides to pass herself off as Miss Beverly's granddaughter.

Upon entering the town Reagan is treated well and I believe she would have been treated well even if she wasn't Miss Beverly's "granddaughter".

She heads out to the home Miss Beverly shared with her grumpy brother Jeremiah. I personally loved all the scenes that included Jeremiah.

I also loved Fire Chief Hank who really takes care of his town and the people in it. Funeral Director Tyler, even tough Alex is likable. I don't think there is a single unlikable person in the book and I guess that is something you would imagine to find in a town called Harmony. There is an unlikable circumstance but not of the walking talking kind.

 I received an email from Jodi Thomas regarding her book. As an avid reviewer, as most of my book loving readers can imagine; I am always shocked, and thrilled when an author writes me. I have saved every email that was sent by an author.

Memory Rewind - Writing

This week's Memory Rewind is:

Here is Handsome who had just turned 4 writing for me. YOu can see how very proud he was. He was spelling at 2 and wrote his first letter a "W" when he was 3. He is a wonderful reader and read us a book yesterday while we did our own thing in the same room. It is so amazing how far kids come in such short times. We are very proud of him.

ABC Wednesday - R

This weeks ABC Wednesday is the letter R

R is for Relaxing


After spending two hours climbing and sliding, Goddess relaxed at the bottom of the slide waiting for her cousins to come down.

R is for Running

There just wasn't enough time to play so Goddess spent the 2.5 hours running from slide to slide. Because if you don't go on each about 20 times, it just isn't worth it.

R is for Ring

Not all gems are inedible.

Father's Day Is Next Month - Do Something Dad Will Love

Where I live people go camping all the time. Every Monday someone or another has some camping photos on their Facebook page from the weekend before. As someone who has gone camping one time in my life I don't know if it is something my kids would love. Sleeping in a camping tent might sound good until you are actually doing it.

Today I had a conversation with a friend who went camping this weekend. She and her family love it and they don't even all have actual tents. They use tarps and such. We two tents and we sent them up in the dining room at times for the kids to play and sleep in every once in a while but sleeping outdoors? That is something I am not sure of. The bugs would make me their feast for the night.

With Father's Day coming next month I started thinking that this is a great way to really spend some time together. Going camping with your husband and kids means that you have to count on each other for comfort and company. There are no TVs or computers. Sounds great already!

Then I would need a portable BBQ and plumbing, air mattress and a really comfortable sleeping bag but....if it was hotter than 75 I would need a fan.

Seriously, with so many of my neighbors and kids classmates heading out to the woods in nothing but tarps or a small camping tent. Who am I? The Queen of Sheba. 

Note to Self: Talk of with the husband and gauge his interest.

Music is Very Important to My Well Being - One eskimO - Review

My husband and I before kids were huge music fans with an extensive music collection and music was always on. When the "baby" turned 3.5 I started putting more music on during the day. Other than that it had only been lullabies or classical music. Handsome still listens to the music he used to listen to while inside me. I used to put the headphones on my belly and lie down for an hour a day after work.

I had not heard of One eskimO prior to this CD review. I also didn't know that the third song on the CD, is the most played song on all adult radio stations.

Hometime - This song slowly grew on me over the second time playing it. I am a big melody girl. And the melody was really pretty.
Astronauts - I loved how this song started. The piano piece was simple and pretty. After hearing it the second time I felt like I had heard it before. It is a really great song.
Kandi - I have heard this song before. I thought it was John Mayer the first time I heard it. It is easy to hear why it is the #1 song.

Slip - I loved how this song started. This is probably my least favorite on the CD. I didn't moved me.
Simiple Day - The guitars are really pretty. I love acoustic guitar and the calmness of the sound. This was reminiscent of Jason Mroz for me. I like when the voices blended on the chorus.
Givin Up - I didn't like the start of the song but eventually it kicked in and was reminiscent of Seal.
Chocolate - I think I will be listening to this often.

All Balloons - I like the sound and the stop and start of the versus. Very easy breezy song that reminded me of something I would hear in a coffee house while sipping and watching people go by.
Chosen One - I believe this is my second favorite next to the Astronaut song. Really pretty sound and reminds me of just laying in my apartment during a rain storm listening to music alone.

UFO - This is a really great song. I love all the tones in it. There is so much going on. Loved it.
Amazing - Nice, the words didn't kick in for 40 seconds. At first I thought it was going to be instrumental. I really loved this too.

I think that One eskimO has a very interesting sound and I appreciate how different they are.



I

Ruby Tuesday

This week's Ruby Tuesday are some photos from Handsome's birthday party this past Friday.


Here is Goddess and her cousin who haven't seen each other in almost two years. It was fun to watch them play like family who saw each other yesterday.


This is pretty much how I saw Goddess this night. In a blur, whizzing by.


Looks like fun, I want to play. Parents were allowed to partake in the fun but Teach wasn't able to come so as the only parent, I kept my feet on the ground and played Hostess.