NYC Neuropsychologist Shares Tips on How to Avoid the V-Day Blues
Just when you have navigated the hurdles of Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s as a single woman, now Valentine’s Day is almost here. For many, it’s a day to celebrate love and romance with that special someone. Unfortunately, for others it’s their least favorite holiday. Whether you just got out of a long-term relationship or you happen to be single, you may not want to stop and smell the roses on the “most romantic day of the year.” Dr. Sanam Hafeez, an NYC Neuropsychologist and Director of Comprehend the Mind shares a few heart-healthy tips on how to keep Valentine's Day from becoming an emotional meltdown.
It’s February 14th, Not Valentine’s Day
When it comes down to it, Valentine's Day isn't really a big deal. “Keep in mind that some of those “happy” couples you see while you're out and about may be putting up a really good front and aren't as happy as you think,” says Dr. Hafeez. “It's all about how someone treats you year round, not just on one day when it's standard for someone to go out of their way in honor of the holiday.” Although Valentine's Day is meant to be a day that celebrates love, it really is just one day out of the year.
Go Where you will be appreciated- Volunteer!
On a day where you might lament feeling unwanted, you will be wanted at virtually any charity whether it is an animal shelter, a homeless shelter, an old age home, soup kitchen etc. Knowing that your presence will make a difference and be someone’s Valentine’s present will make a difference in your mindset. So, get out of your one head and volunteer!
It’s Me, Not You
Be your own Valentine this holiday and pamper yourself by splurging on a day at the spa, a new haircut or a little retail therapy. “You can still celebrate February 14th on your own terms,” says Dr. Hafeez. “Is there something that you’d really love to do, but you’ve been making excuses for why you shouldn’t? Be your own Valentine and treat yourself to something special.”
Stay off Instagram or other triggering social media
You know there will inevitably be that friend or couple who just has to post pics of their flowers, jewelry, chocolate, or dinner reservations online. Do not “doom scroll” looking to see how many couple’s Valentine’s Day images you can find to “reinforce” your misery. Make this day a “black out “ day on social media.
Be My Valentine
Who says everyone should only get Valentines from those they're dating? “The day is about love, so send some Valentines to those you love the most - your family and friends,” advises Dr. Hafeez. “You'll feel good knowing that you made them feel special and maybe even made them dislike the day a little less.”
Send Yourself Flowers
If you are feeling really down about being alone on Valentine's Day, why not send yourself flowers or chocolates to your place of work?
Avoid Love Triggers
If you are upset about being alone on Valentine's Day, avoid watching romantic movies and listening to love songs. These types of activities are sure to bring on the love blues.
A Single Girl’s Night In
Order your favorite UberEATS meal, pour yourself a glass of your favorite Pinot Noir and watch something mindless on Netflix. “There's no problem at all with staying in by yourself on Valentine's Day. If you're single and don't feel like going out, there's no better way to spend Valentine's Day,” says Dr. Hafeez.
Accepting What Is & Setting Goals for the Future
If you are alone and sad on Valentines Day, give yourself permission to experience all of your negative emotions. "Remember that your romantic status today does not determine your entire future,” says Dr. Hafeez. “Being single does not mean that there is something broken or wrong with you. Don't generalize your negative emotions to other aspects of your life. Not having a relationship is hardly tantamount to failure. Your romantic life is only one facet of who you are. It is also something that can change if you are unhappy with it.”
New York State Licensed Neuropsychologist and Director of Comprehend The Mind
Dr. Sanam Hafeez is a New York City based Neuropsychologist and School Psychologist. She is also the founder and director of Comprehensive Consultation Psychological Services, P.C. She is currently a teaching faculty member at Columbia University. Click here to see Dr. Hafeez on Dr.Oz: http://www.doctoroz.com/episode/do-smart-drugs-work-we-test-them-so-you-don-t-have?video_id=4518086514001
Dr. Hafeez graduated from Queens College, CUNY with a BA in psychology. She then went on to earn her Master of Science in Psychology at Hofstra University. Following that she stayed at Hofstra to receive her Doctor of Psychology (Psy.D.) She later completed her post-doctoral training in Neuropsychology and Developmental Pediatrics at Coney Island Hospital.
Dr. Hafeez’s provides neuropsychological educational and developmental evaluations in her practice. She also works with children and adults who suffer from post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), learning disabilities, autism, attention and memory problems, trauma and brain injury, abuse, childhood development and psychopathology (bipolar, schizophrenia, depression, anxiety, etc…) In addition, Dr. Hafeez serves as a medical expert and expert witness by providing full evaluations and witness testimony to law firms and courts.
Dr. Hafeez immigrated to the United States from Pakistan when she was twelve years old. She is fluent in English, Urdu, Hindi and Punjabi (Pakistani and Indian languages.) She resides in Queens, New York with her husband and twin boys.
Honors and Publications:
- April 2013 Main Speaker at Learning Disabilities Awareness Conference, New York City at Baruch College, CUNY
“Evaluating and Accommodating Students with Disabilities”
- June 2008 Appointment to the New York City 18-B panel Assigned Counsel Plan
Appointed as a preferred and approved Neuropsychologist and Clinical Psychologist in the New York City Court System for low cost or pro bono criminal, civil and family law cases
- January 2008 CUNY Proficiency Exam Waiver Position Paper
Hafeez, S. (2008)
Commissioned by CUNY to advocate for the Learning Disabled population and the bias of the CUNY Assessment.
Research based paper presented to the Board of CUNY Student Disabilities to waive requirement.
- 1998-2000 Doctoral Fellowship, Hofstra University
*Awarded a stipend in exchange for a research assistant position with core faculty member
Clinical Experience:
Director and Founder February 2003-Present
Comprehensive Consultation Psychological Services
- Provide quality monolingual and bilingual psychological, educational, neuropsychological and speech and language evaluations
- Early Intervention, Pre-School and School Age Special Education Services
- Awarded a competitive contract through bidding with the New York City Department of Education (NYC DOE)
- Awarded an assessment and interpreting contract with Putnam-Westchester BOCES
- Provide evaluations and services to college level students with educational disabilities
- Also provide occupational and physical therapy evaluations as well as therapeutic services in all areas.
- Contract with school district and various agencies to provide evaluations and related services
- Provide neuropsychological, psychological and forensic evaluations for legal purposes to individuals, law firms, agencies and courts
Teaching Experience:
Faculty Appointment September 2011-Present
Columbia University, Teacher’s College, New York, NY
PhD program in Psychology
- Instruction of neuropsychological and cognitive testing measures (SB-5, WJ-III, WISC-IV, etc)
- Supervision and training of graduate students for clinical testing at university clinic
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