“First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in
the baby carriage.”
It’s three in the
morning and a young couple have been up all night trying to soothe their
first born who is in misery cutting her first tooth. The unexperienced
Daddy tries to search for the ‘suction’ nose ‘thingy’. Mom stares down as
shes rocks her baby, realizing that her PJ’s reek of the smell of
urine. All of a sudden, the new Daddy rushes in waving the suction
apparatus victoriously, balancing a cup of coffee in his other hand like a
superstar with his sunglasses on. Their eyes meet and they both crack up
uncontrollably, watching in shock as the dog pees on their new rug. In that
second, their two hearts become one, recognizing how very much they both truly
love one another.
This short vignette represents several key habits and practices
that will increase the odds that this and any marriage will not only survive
the first year with a their new baby, but that they will be together to
celebrate their fiftieth anniversary. Here are the key elements that can make
living with a child not only bearable but fulfilling creating a bond that lasts
forever.
- Work as a Team
This man and woman work
as a both equally involved in the upbringing of their little one. Their joint
participation is observable throughout the entire process of this ‘baby
nightmare’ moment. Both parents are united and invested in the best for their
off spring. Both parents share in the developmental trauma of ‘cutting teeth’
and are working towards learning how to make her feel better and comfort her.
2. Be Kind
Both speak
thoughtfully consciously avoiding words and actions that will only heighten
the tension in the room. No one is shouting orders from the sidelines. There
is no blame or and making the situation more stressful then it already is.
There is no bickering about who lost the suction.
3. Stay in the Moment
The focus is kept on the present
issue at hand; how to help their baby. No one is whining about the smell
of urine or how they are going to get to work tomorrow. Even the dog urinating
on their new rug does take their attention away from their sick child.
Staying the moment helps everyone stay on task.
4. Have Fun
Research states that the
mind cannot process two opposing emotions simultaneously. The use of humor
flips the switch and the scene transforms in to a comedy between young
lovers. This is the stuff that sustains couples through the highs and
lows of life.
Everything that makes a
marriage fulfilling has nothing to do with the size of the house you live in,
how many exotic vacations to far off places you visit, or the savings in your
bank account. Marriages that last are composed of respect and dedication
to their story actually create ‘happily everafter.” together.
April is currently a radio/TV personality and a public presenter
that can speak on the following topics:
-The Journey Home from Here: explore multi-generational unspoken
messages that keep you from running your race
-Love and Romance; Why you fell so hard and how to make sense of
it all.
-Stories that Help or Hurt Us: Editing out the lies that keep us
in the dark night of the soul
-Working My Way Back To Me: April’s truth and her methods of
living with every moment of it.
-The Child Inside: Meeting and Loving the child within
Retail: $14.95. Pre
Sale begins August 1. See website. aprilkirkwood.com
To Purchase:
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