Tuesday, June 26, 2018

Relationship Stress

Being in a relationship is a wonderful feeling. You are loved, someone understands you, and you’ve got someone to hold you, kiss you and show you affection. When you first start dating someone, some people refer to it as the “honeymoon phase.” It seems like everything is going well. All you can see is the good in your partner and they see the wonderful qualities in you. After some time, you might move in together as things get serious.  That’s when the honeymoon period ends.

You start to notice their annoying behaviors and habits, whether that’s throwing dirty socks all over the floor, snoring or leaving empty containers in the fridge. Those are minor examples of annoyances in a relationship. Bigger problems in relationships arise when people become closer and the relationship becomes serious. They could have to do with the different ways people communicate for example. One person in the relationship might feel unappreciated by their partner because the other person can’t seem to show them they love them. It’s one thing to say “I love you,” but it’s another to demonstrate through actions that you love and care about your significant other.

People go through all sorts of challenges in relationships. We can’t foresee what will arise and cause problems in a relationship. One issue that could come up for people is that one person doesn’t want to be intimate with the other partner. When life in the bedroom gets boring or non-existent, that can put a strain on a couple’s relationship. If the spark is still burning bright with your partner, there are other areas that could be problematic. Maybe one person wants to have children and the other person doesn’t. This means that you’re each on different pages and that makes it hard to move forward in the partnership.

When you’re having relationship problems, it’s sometimes hard to remember what it is you loved about your partner in the first place. Try to remember there’s a reason that you two found each other and why you’re still together. Just because you’re having difficulties in your relationship doesn’t mean that the love is gone. There is a foundation of love and connection between the two of you. However, it’s clouded by your problems but you still love one another deeply. There’s hope and you can rekindle the love that you still have, but you can’t disregard your problems.

Ignoring your problems, letting them build up and then having stressful fights isn’t going to help. Instead of pretending that things are fine, confront what’s not working by seeking relationship counseling. You and your partner can see a therapist in person or find online couples counseling to work on your problems. Don’t assume that there’s anything “wrong” with your relationship just because you and your partner are seeking couples counseling. In fact, finding a professional counselor can actually strengthen a couple’s relationship. Take the step to find a mental health professional who can help you. Even if you think there’s no hope left, you might be able to save your relationship.   

Sarah Fader Bio

Sarah Fader is the CEO and Founder of Stigma Fighters, a non-profit organization that encourages individuals with mental illness to share their personal stories. She has been featured in The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Atlantic, Quartz, Psychology Today, The Huffington Post, HuffPost Live, and Good Day New York.

Sarah is a native New Yorker who enjoys naps, talking to strangers, and caring for her two small humans and two average-sized cats. Like six million other Americans, Sarah lives with panic disorder. Through Stigma Fighters, Sarah hopes to change the world, one mental health stigma at a time.

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