Monday, August 22, 2011

What Constitutes A Bad House Environment? Touchy Subject

While talking to a 15 year old this week who is going through a hard time at home, I wondered, when does the world step in? When did the world check out?

There are many forms of child abuse. Some consider only hitting abuse. Is it abuse when children are sad, hurt, crying, scared, confused, angry? In my eyes, there are fine lines but in some instances, if a behavior at home is changing a child's personality or making them scared, sad, or any of the words above, it is abusive. Children shouldn't have to close themselves off just to survive their home life.

My heart breaks for any child who wonders if they are loved. Who cries because of their parents mistakes. Who feels unimportant or unheard. Who longs for the moment they can "get out". Who stays because they have no choice. Who suffers because parents are selfish! Children should be loved. They should feel safe! They should know how important they are. They need to know they can trust someone. They long to be held for as long as possible and they deserve a soft place to land when the world seems crazy.

Is that too much to ask of for someone who counts on adults for their well being and survival? I think not! There is no room for selfishness when you are a PARENT.


  1. My daughter has a good friend who is in a situation very similar to what you describe. I feel so badly for her and wish there were something I could do to help her.

  2. I understand that with CPS and laws, there have to be clear lines. Things like "if marks are left" for abuse. Yet, I too struggle inside when I see children who live in a chaotic, scary home that isn't "abusive" on paper, because they aren't being hit to the point of bruising or marking and are fed, etc. I know SO many kids in situations like you described.

  3. Anonymous12:23 PM

    Maria, you had me in tears as I read this post, because you were discribing MY childhood. I got married at age 20 (to the WRONG man - who turned out to be abusive also) just to "get out!" I also have blocked memories of my childhood - and my therapist said it's not necessary for me to drag them out for me to function, while my oldest sister has memories of being sexually abused by my father.
    Where were you when I was little, I really could have used you as a friend then, but I SURE am glad that you are my friend now and that you are looking out for children now. I am really observant of strange things going on with children. Bless you Maria for being you!
    The Shewbridges of Central Florida

  4. Anonymous2:11 PM

    This is such an issue for me and my family. Having lived through emotional and mental abuse for 10 years that ultimately culminated in physical abuse, I honestly believe that it's been harder for me to deal with the psychological aspects of the abuse than anything else. I have had terrible self-esteem and mild depression and worst of all, I sometimes just feel like I was brainwashed. Brainwashed into believing that I was capable of next to nothing and that I wasn't good for anything. Although my scars aren't visible, I'll carry them with me for the rest of my life and I wish I could just show them to the authorities as proof that I've lived through a terrible ordeal but I have nothing to show! That's what frustrates me the most. If I could make you feel what I felt, there'd be proof but I can't.


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